In the spirit of nablopomo, I shall make up themes when other things aren't noteworthy. Today, I launch Traffic Tip Tuesday. If you commute, please share your traffic tips in comments, or on your own blog (and leave the link in comments.)
Today's traffic tip involves loitering in the left lane. If there are three lanes available, which do you choose? I usually choose the left, since I'll travel 20 miles between entering the interstate, and exiting. The left tends to move a bit more quickly, and I'm not slowed down by those exiting earlier.
Sometimes, however, an apparent newbie joins my lane. Often on their cell phone, they lag back behind traffic, oblivious to those that pass them on the right, using the center lane. Not all of us can accomplish this, though, due to other traffic already in the center lane.
This is for you, blue Ford F-150. Mr. Ford F-150, license plate number 3CD 064. Yeah, you. You allowed about 20 car lengths between you and the car in front of you, even though you were driving 55 in a 65. 20 car lengths is appropriate if you're driving 200 mph, but even NASCAR drivers going that fast don't leave that kind of space.
When I try to get around you on the right, you speed up. What's up with THAT, asshat? You jacked with me for 15 minutes or more, always dangling that carrot JUST out of reach. I was road-raging on you, just so you know. When you finally exited on Adams Dairy Parkway in Blue Springs, Missouri, I gave you "the look." I know you saw me. You looked over.
"The Look" may not be very intimidating to you, but if you knew me better, you'd straighten up, Mister. Just ask my kids. I could have done something aggressive, but the smokin' hot Neon needs to get me through a lot longer, so you were spared my wrath. Next time, dude, I may be in Kevin's truck. I've got NO reason to be so kind to it. (sorry, Kevin.)
OK, that ends this week's installment of Traffic Tip Tuesday. Please, people, pick the appropriate lane for your speed/attention level. I'm begging, here.