Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I'm not happy

There. I said it. I'm not happy.

Around here, I am the happy one. I'm the optimistic one. I'm the "half full" one. I can laugh and move on when bad stuff happens. I've never been depressed, really. I've had a day or two of "down," but I get over it and laugh again.

The last couple of days, I can't shake it. I know that I've lost a co-worker lately. I understand that all three sharks in my aquariums have died (the oldest and biggest, I've had for 4 years.) I know that we're financially strapped with Kevin not working. I know all of that, and I've faced worse. Seriously. It's been way worse than this.

So, I have to find my happy. I will. Trust me. It defines me: The Happy One. That's who I am. I support others who are sad or depressed. I'm not the one who needs support. That is NOT me. I will find my happy.

I only have two days of work left, before I'm off for a long weekend. I have been invited to a 4th of July party. I have a family who loves me dearly. I helped carry a brand new baby calf to the barn...to safety. I have a home. I have a cute little red Neon that is completely paid for. I have food to eat and clothes to wear. I have a lazy dog who thinks I rock.

I have people. Dammit. I have people. I'll be fine.

Monday, June 29, 2009

New blog look

Wow. I have nothing to say, but my new blog layout gets a notice. LOL Just kidding. I am always too busy to update, but had some "bored" time this past weekend, so I played with blogger settings.

Natalie is home from Grammy's, but Monica is back down there, with a chance to work at the camp for actual $$$! A kid her age? With an income? She is stoked.

I had a rough day, but they are getting fewer and farther between. Where I sit, I had Patty facing me, and others were around a corner or across a large gap. Today, folks were laughing and talking about something, and I told BWF Michelle that I felt left out. She asked why and I said, "I'm alone over here!" as I nodded at Patty's desk. Instantly, I teared up. Damn. I'm tired of this, for sure.

This is a short week, due to the holiday, so there are only 3 days left. It'll be fine. I'm filling in for others, most of the time, but we're in the summer slow-down, so it's manageable. So much coming up, and so much to do. Glad that time will be there to do it all.

Happy Independence Day eve, eve, eve, eve, eve, ya'll.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Friday, June 26, 2009

Friday is my friend

Today should have been horrible.  People were with clients, on vacation, and otherwise busy.  We had 4 people on the phones, instead of 8-12.  ACK!  We all prepped to do whatever we could.  The phones came on, and they were kind to us.  VERY kind.  Heck, we had time to laugh and visit between calls!  Fridays are quieter in the summer, so we knew it was doable, but it was almost EASY!

I left work at 5, after picking up a gift from a coworker.  She is Korean and knows that Kevin and I like spicy food.  She sent me home with some spicy pork, still in the marinade, ready for grilling.  We'll have that tomorrow.  I fueled up and headed home.

When I arrived, I found visitors!  Brett and Cassie (his girlfriend) were here with Kameron.  Sweet!  She is 6 months old now, and so fun.  That dimple melts me every time.  On top of it all, dinner was coming off the grill as I pulled into the drive.  Yes, I had a blessed day.

Now, I'm in my bed with a cold beverage, a bag of Doritos, a chick flick, a laptop, and the a/c.  Life is good, my friend.  Life is good.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Oh, Hi. Have we met?

I've had several family members and friends, a coworker and a couple of customers, inform me that I'm not updating facebook and the blog much.  Why?  I have no idea.

I think it's because it's summer time.  In the winter, it's dark when I get home, and I hibernate in the house, playing online and watching TV.  When it's sunny out, I like to sit on the deck, or the side porch, and enjoy listening to the birds.

The cats moved outside today.  I'm sure they'll be fine, but they look at the door like, "Hey!  What happened?"  Every time I posted them on craigslist, it got flagged and removed.  I know you can't post free pets, so I asked for a re-homing fee, but still they flagged it.  Oh well.  They will be outside cats and still get love.  Call me a bad person.  Whatever.  I was just loving on Simba a few minutes ago.

Here is a weather report from Missouri:  It is blazing hot, it storms, it gets blazing hot again.  The end.

Natalie comes home from camp this weekend!  She had a ball, and sounded so happy, but I know she's homesick and can tell she is ready to be home.  I'm ready for her to be here, too.  The house seems weird when either girl is gone for more than overnight.

OK.  There.  I posted.  Boring waste of time, huh?  LOL  sorry!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day.  I haven't seen any fathers today.  Kevin is in Carthage, and Dad is in St. Louis.  Hmmm.  A father-free father's day?  That's not right.  By this evening though, I'll be able to tell them in person:

Happy Father's Day!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Have I told ya'll that you're awesome lately?

I had a better day today.  It was tough, don't get me wrong, but we went through Patty's desk, readied a box for her husband to pick up, and started wading through customer stuff that needed to be tended to.  Make a call, tell someone that she's gone, and then tell them that we found (fill in the blank) and we're sending it to them.  It was emotionally exhausting, but it was cleansing, too.  The prayers have been awesome and I've truly felt them.  Thank you.

On a lighter note, I've been married for 14 years, today.  We agreed (after each having divorced before) that if we made it 10 years, we'd not divorce, because it's a pain in the neck.  On our 10th anniversary, I looked at him and said, "so?"  He answered, "yeah."  That was it.  He's stuck with me.

On the topic of Kevin, he finally got approved for a Dr. appointment, which he went to today.  The Dr. said that he needed a cortisone shot.  He explained that the other 9 that he's had cause severe pain and haven't helped, but Dr. explained that "he does it different."  Yeah, that's what the other Dr.'s have said.

He got the shot. It caused horrible pain.  It didn't help.  OK, we'll see.  His Dr. released him to go to work with a "no lifting" limitation.  Said employer explained that they had nothing for him to do, if he can't life 7027 lbs by himself.  OK, it was something like that.  So, he's still not working.

What that means is that he's on 66% pay, and has been for several weeks. It's hard to explain how much that sucks.  It's cool that he's here to be with the girls and take care of life stuff, but it sucks to wonder, each night, how long I can keep my home.  I love my humble home.  It's little, and it's old, but it's MINE!

Oh yeah, and on a side note:  The Dr. told him "You need to find a new job."  This is because the current employer keeps tearing him up, physically.  Kevin said, "Awesome, Doc.  How about you write that down?  How about you write down that I should find a new job."  Yeah, Kevin's a smart ass.  I guess said Dr. doesn't know that the current economy doesn't produce a lot of jobs.  
I guess he doesn't know that I've looked for a second job to help, and that everyone is fighting for the few jobs that are out there.  I guess, in these "tough economic times" (sorry) he doesn't realize that nobody is going to hire a 43 year old guy, with an injury which prohibits lifting *anything*, and an active workman's compensation case.  *sigh*

Thanks, Doc.  That's good advice.  We'll get him out, right away, to find that job.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Thanks for the prayers

My friend and coworker Patty lost the battle this morning.  The last time I spoke to her, she told me that she could tell that people were praying for her.  Now, she's pain free and at peace.  Thanks for praying, and continue keeping her husband and boys in your thoughts.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Prayers, please

Prayers if you pray, good thoughts if you send them.

I love you, Patty.  God bless your sons, Cameron and Brett, and your husband, Ben.

I love you, guys.  God's blessings on you all.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Where I've been

Work is busy and crazy.  I'm making it, though.

Jim and Lyndsay are in town.  I go to Mom and Dad's after work each day to see them and hang out.  It's a blast, but I'm not online much.  I'll be back.

Life is good.  I'm just busy enjoying summer.  I love summer.

3 1/2 days until the PARTY!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Day off

What an awesome day to take off!  The weather is beautiful.
I saw Mom and Dad for bit, and kissed Kevin goodbye.  He's going to Carthage to pick up Monica.  They'll be home tomorrow.
I came home to do a load of laundry, but decided it was too nice outside to stay in.
Went back to see what Dad was up to.
Drove to Independence (PetsMart) to get a plecostomus for aquarium 2.
Picked up Natalie from school.
Checked on Dad again.  Yeah, I know.  It's where I like to be.
Gathered some firewood.  OK, stole it from the pile by Mom's cabin.
Drove to Lexington for McD's.
Built a fire to light later.
A good day, indeed.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

So dang tired.

I am happy to announce that I have a vacation day tomorrow.  I have a three-day weekend, and I deserve it, darn it!

I am facing some tough times at work.  I would like to ask for prayers and good thoughts, but my friend, Patty, is still fighting for her life.   Therefore, I would rather you spend prayer time on her, and comment to tell me to suck it up and be happy that I'm healthy.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow, you're always a day away!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Facebook warning

If you're on facebook, read this:

You WILL get an inbox message from someone on your friends list.  It will be something about a video.  It could be "Look at this awesome video" or "I found an old video of you!" or something.  If you open it, and you use the windows operating system, congrats on the virus that you just downloaded.  Also, all of your friends will get the message from you, so it can spread quickly.  Sweet, huh?

I'm just sayin'.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Prayers needed

If you have a prayer list, or a good feeling list, please add the following:

Patty Shaw (cancer)
Ben Shaw (her husband)
Cameron Shaw (son)
Brett Shaw (son)

Please please think and pray.

I don't know what else to do.