Sunday, September 16, 2007

What to do with the boy...

I posted on myspace about my issue. I put it there, since I'm sure he'll see it there. He won't care, but he'll see it. Here is the link:

I am so sorry, Mom, for all of the tears that I caused you. I know I caused a lot. I can promise you, for all the horrible things that I did, I never stole any money from you, or any other member of the family. I did plenty else. And I'm sorry. Forgivness is everything, and I know it will come...but not tonight.

Tonight, I reserve the right to be PISSED!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


On September 11, 2001, I was at work when Kevin called me. He was watching the news (he worked third shift at the time) and was watching what was happening in NYC. He first thought it was an accident (as many did at first) and was so confused. Then, other employees started getting calls from family members.

I worked in a cubical in an office at the time, so there were no TVs around, but folks started turning on news radio, and updating us as more of the story unfolded. A couple of ladies freaked out, left for the day, filled up their gas tanks (after sitting in line at the pumps for an hour or so) and pulled their kids out of school. That was crazy, but every fiber of my being wanted to do the same.

We were stunned...shocked...confused. I cried a lot, thinking about the people and their families, but the tragedy of the day kept growing. There were other things happening. Horrible, awful, unmentionable things. I just wanted to be "in my bubble" at home, with my family near me.

The fact of the matter is, I refuse to live in fear. My kids will go to school, and get a good education. I will go to work and provide for my family. I will attend public events (even though I must go through a metal detector and have my purse searched) and I will fly for business when I need to.

When we shut down, and refuse to stray from our bubble, the bad guys win. Some day, some horrible evil may befall someone that I love...someone in my family. I pray that I never have to know that kind of horror. Meanwhile, I will live. I will live free and I will live my life to the fullest.

While I live, I will remember those who died. I will remember the families involved. I will remember those who cannot move bravely forward, and are locked in their homes, scared to see the light of day. All I can do is remember. Remember and make sure that my kids remember, too.