Sunday, September 16, 2007

What to do with the boy...

I posted on myspace about my issue. I put it there, since I'm sure he'll see it there. He won't care, but he'll see it. Here is the link:

I am so sorry, Mom, for all of the tears that I caused you. I know I caused a lot. I can promise you, for all the horrible things that I did, I never stole any money from you, or any other member of the family. I did plenty else. And I'm sorry. Forgivness is everything, and I know it will come...but not tonight.

Tonight, I reserve the right to be PISSED!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


On September 11, 2001, I was at work when Kevin called me. He was watching the news (he worked third shift at the time) and was watching what was happening in NYC. He first thought it was an accident (as many did at first) and was so confused. Then, other employees started getting calls from family members.

I worked in a cubical in an office at the time, so there were no TVs around, but folks started turning on news radio, and updating us as more of the story unfolded. A couple of ladies freaked out, left for the day, filled up their gas tanks (after sitting in line at the pumps for an hour or so) and pulled their kids out of school. That was crazy, but every fiber of my being wanted to do the same.

We were stunned...shocked...confused. I cried a lot, thinking about the people and their families, but the tragedy of the day kept growing. There were other things happening. Horrible, awful, unmentionable things. I just wanted to be "in my bubble" at home, with my family near me.

The fact of the matter is, I refuse to live in fear. My kids will go to school, and get a good education. I will go to work and provide for my family. I will attend public events (even though I must go through a metal detector and have my purse searched) and I will fly for business when I need to.

When we shut down, and refuse to stray from our bubble, the bad guys win. Some day, some horrible evil may befall someone that I love...someone in my family. I pray that I never have to know that kind of horror. Meanwhile, I will live. I will live free and I will live my life to the fullest.

While I live, I will remember those who died. I will remember the families involved. I will remember those who cannot move bravely forward, and are locked in their homes, scared to see the light of day. All I can do is remember. Remember and make sure that my kids remember, too.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Wordless Wednesday-Welcome home, son.

The story:

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Friday, July 27, 2007

What about Lucy?

Lucy's dad ran off around the fourth of July. He is the Chihuahua half of our little Jackahuahua. Keith (kevin's coworker) is heartbroken. He loved that dog, and it doesn't look like he's coming back. He wants Lucy.

Lucy is the love of our lives. She is fun and cute and animated, and she entertains us daily. She plays fetch, smiles when we get home, and curls up between us, UNDER the blanket, at bed time. She is a doll.

She also goes potty on the back porch. Due to our working schedule, she was never properly house trained. She thinks that cement the where she should "go". Granted, it's not in my house, but it's on my back porch. There are times that we come home, and it smells like a kennel in here. She chews up mail and other items, and she barks uncontrollably at anyone who passes by our window.

If she goes to live with Keith, she'll be showered with love, house-trained, and loved by the whole family. My house will be mine again, and we won't pick up poo from the back porch. Keith will have a dog again, and his daughters will adore her. I can turn on the a/c when it gets over 90 degrees, and life will be good.

On the other hand, I cry when I think about it. She is a little doll. Lucy is a personality in this house that I hate to lose. She is fun and funny, and she smiles a full-faced smile when I get home from work. I hold her and pet her and cry at the thought of losing her.

But....BUT.....I think it is best to let her go live with her daddy's owner. I think it's best to let go. Good lord, I hate to think about it, but at least I can visit whenever I want. Sweet, sweet Lucy, my dear sweet dog, after we break it to the girls, I think you will go live with your mamma. She'll take good care of you, and so will the humans who live there. I love you, sweetheart.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Saturday, June 16, 2007

The famous Hula Hoop contest

Natalie won the first round, but not the final contest. I remember when I could hula hoop. *sigh*

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Why am I sad?

Why am I pouting? Why am I whining? Why am I stewing? I don't know, but here are some possibilities:

A job offer for Kevin.

A brother in pain.

An upcoming trip that I'm barely prepared for.

A very, VERY windy evening when trash cans should be placed on the curb.

A GPS lady who won't speak to me.

An evening without much on TV.

A new graduate who went missing was found today, dead.

Obviously, those are in no particular order. Just many things running rampant through my head.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

The answers.

1. I don't/won't drink Budweiser.
It gives me a rotten headache. I heard that it has something to do with nitrites.
2. I commute for a total of 2 hours each day.
With gas the was it is, maybe I shouldn't, but I love my job, and my commute is my down time.
3. I talk on the phone for a living, and hate to talk on the phone at home.
If the phone rings at home, I tell someone else to get it. Nobody here is paying me to be nice on the phone, like they do at work.
4. I like to mow the lawn.
We rented for so long that I enjoy making my home look nice. Call me weird.
5. I drink about 100 oz of Diet Coke a day, most days.
I'm not proud of it, and I know it's insane, but I have a DC in my hand ALL day long.
6. I wear size eleven shoes.
Depending on the brand/style, I wear anywhere from 10 to 11. It runs in the family.
7. I can change oil in my car, or your car, if needed.
This, along with other maintenance duties, were required by Dad before I could get a license.
8. I can put new brakes on a car.
This is the lie. I watched Dad and Kevin do it, and I still don't have a clue.
9. My first computer was running on Windows 3.1.
And it was on dial-up. I could type something, leave the room, make a sandwich and take a nap, then the new page would be loaded. I do NOT miss it. Thank you, Windows XP.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

I've been tagged!!!

Recently I was tagged by my Mother, over on her blog. The MeMe goes like this:

I have to tell you 9 things that you don’t know about me, only 8 of them are true. Can you guess which one is not?

I'm not that interesting, so it'll probably be really easy, but here goes:

1. I don't/won't drink Budweiser.
2. I commute for a total of 2 hours each day.
3. I talk on the phone for a living, and hate to talk on the phone at home.
4. I like to mow the lawn.
5. I drink about 100 oz of Diet Coke a day, most days.
6. I wear size eleven shoes.
7. I can change oil in my car, or your car, if needed.
8. I can put new brakes on a car.
9. My first computer was running on Windows 3.1.

Now, can you pick out the lie? I'll be back tomorrow to tell you the answer.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Sunday, May 13, 2007

My Mother's Day, so far

The girls set their alarms and woke up at 5:30 to make breakfast in bed for me. It was quite sweet. Kevin is in Carthage with his mother, and I plan to see mine later today. I'm going to have a great day with two of my children.

The other one hasn't been home or called for two days. I saw his car, so I know where he's been, but so far, not so much as a "Hey Mom, I'm fine" phone call. Maybe he'll be here later today. I'm not holding my breath.

This is Karma. I was such a creep as a teenager.

Oh, in case you wondered, that is toaster waffles with a TON of butter, cold microaved oatmeal, peach yogurt (my favorite) and a diet Coke.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Friday, April 13, 2007

Sheesh. It's a goat rope

Well, it's almost 10, and I just started a load of laundry that has one of my major shirts in it. No, I'm not a major, but I majorly need this shirt. I guess I won't be sleeping tonight, huh? Who can I blame this on??? Oh yeah, it's my fault. Thanks for reminding me. I have GOT to get our logo on a pair of sweats and a Tshirt. Then it would be ok, right?

Thursday, April 12, 2007

To be posted in both journals:

I'll post this in both journals.

For the Record:

I did NOT get drunk in Illinois. I DID spend 9 hours working on software with a client. I DID have trouble sleeping. I did enjoy the trip, travelling with good company, but missed home a lot. I DO have to leave town again in the wee hours of Saturday morning.

I did NOT sleep by the pool. I did NOT go to the bar instead of breakfast. I AM a goofball when I'm bored. I DID come up with a new game while travelling (pictures of patterns. Maybe I'll post them, but they're pretty boring.)

I'm home, much later than I expected to arrive. I missed Survivor. I have to do laundry so my work clothes are ready for Michigan. At least the pilot got us above the clouds for most of the flight, so I saw the sun for the first time in many days. I had mini-pringles on the plane for dinner. I'm tired. Goodnight.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

A trip to Bloominfieldburgton...or something.

Well, we arrived here in Bloomburgfieldtonsville in fine fashion. Did you know my company will buy me a drink when I travel? I thought that I might come up with an entry for my journal, but no matter how hard I concentrated, I couldn't come up with a subject.

Seriously. I held my breath for so long that I passed out...or maybe it was the beers...who knows? Anyways, so I woke up and noticed that I wasn't in my house, but in some strange room with two beds and a weird assortment of lamps.

After realizing that I was in a hotel, I checked to make sure that I was in the RIGHT room, and seeing my bag in the corner was quite a relief. I headed to breakfast, but the bar came into view first. I never liked to walk too far. The bartender knew my name, and I thought that was either a bad sign, or WAY cool. I mulled it over while I drank a beer or 10.

The next day, I woke up by the pool with the manager kicking me in the ribs. It seems that they don't like it when you stay without paying for a room for the night. Go figure. It smelled like chlorine in there, anyway. I guess I'll try to find a way back to my home in....well, it's located near....uh oh. I'm going to go get a beer and try to figure out how to get home. I think I have a husband. If I do, he'll be worried for sure. If I don't, maybe I should get one. Unless I'm gay. Or a nun.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Wordless Wednesday-The Pupcorn Game

I know it's "wordless", but watch the popcorn. Hawkeye always wins, hands down.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Friday, March 30, 2007

Another Meme

Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following... They MUST be real places, names, things...
NOTHING made up! If you can't think of anything, skip it.
You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.
Your Name: Rachel
Famous Music artist/group: Ratt
3 letter word: rag
Gift/present: roses?
Vehicle: Rav4
TV Show: Roseanne!
Country: Russia-that's a country, right?
Boy's Name: Russ!
Girl's Name: Rene'
Alcoholic drink: Rum
Occupation: Retail salesman
Flower: Roses
Celebrity: Rosco P. Coletrain? (nobody will get this, except Kevin, Jim and Dad)
Food: Ravioli
Reason for Being Late: rammed by a Rav4 driven by Russ
Something You Shout: RAT FINK!

A Meme, from Mom and others:

Here are 7 songs I've listened to tonight. I suggest you give a listen to numbers 1, 3, and 6. At LEAST, listen to 3 and 6. If you have to choose one, I guess you should go for 3. Good stuff.

1. “These are my people” Rodney Atkins
2. “Last Dollar” Tim McGraw
3. “I Get to” Blue County
4. “Wayward Son" Kansas
5. “Your Song” Elton John
6. “Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me” Elton John
7. “What I Learned Out on the Road” Kid Rock

Friday, March 23, 2007

A meme from Mom
Thanks to Mom, who tagged me for this meme, I should be packing for my trip:

Three Things That Scare Me:
The death of a family member (let's not go deeper, it makes me cry.)
Loss of a job (mine or Kevin's)
Growing complacent.

Three People Who Make Me Laugh:
My Dad.
My husband.
My kids. (only three? I need more.)
My best friend, Tammy.
Sheesh, there are too many. I laugh a LOT!

Three Things I Love: (I didn't include people here because it says "things")
My job.
The "take off" portion of a flight.
A real good picture (or "image" as you should call it, until it's printed).

Three Things I Hate:
Two-faced people. Seriously. (You don't know that we SEE how you are?)

Three Things I Don't Understand:
Why my best friends son is fighting in Iraq.
Why I don't make more time for my best friend.

Three Things On My Desk:
The Ipod that needs a battery.
My camera.
An ashtray.

Three Things I'm Doing Right Now:
Avoiding laundry.
Avoiding dishes.
Enjoying the HECK out of my family.

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
Get through a year without struggling to pay bills.
See my children succeed in life.
Go on a cruise with Kevin.

Three Things I Can Do:
"Ride out" a bucking horse....for a while...OK, 4 seconds.
Take care of a customer like nobody else...ever
Back a hay trailer into a barn (with fewer than 3 tries) seriously, ask dad!

Three Things I Can't Do:
Speak a foreign language
Write as well as my mother
"Get over it" in a timely manner

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:
Travis Tritt's "It's a Great Day to Be Alive"
Blue County's "I get to"
My parents- seriously, they know more than anyone knows.

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:
Bucky Covington's latest
Local news
A disgruntled individual

Three Things I'd Like To Learn:
HTML Programming
How to get an 18 year old to listen to reason
How to trim bangs evenly. (sorry, o-daughters-of-mine)

Three Favorite Foods:
Diet Coke (does that count as "food"?)

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:
Little House on the Prairie
Sesame Street
Tom and Jerry

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Monday, March 19, 2007


Just so you know, anyone can comment here, now. No need to log in. Just hit "other" where it asks for a login ID. I found a buried setting!

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Bipolar? Multiple Personalities? Human?

I feel so happy that I have the next 4 days off. I need to recharge REAL bad.

I feel so pissed at "the guy" at work.

I feel so sad that the last two months of Brett's high-school career are going to be so rough, by his own hand.

I feel so proud of the job I do, and how good I am at it. I get daily compliments, and voicemails left by customers, to the boss.

I feel so frustrated by kids who won't lift a hand to help, unless I threaten them.

I feel so melancholy when I realize I graduated 20 years ago.

I feel so energized when I watch my children play.

I feel so loved when my husband brings home new fish for my aqarium (he did tonight!), when I get a comment on a journal, when my Dad looks at me, when a friend says they'll miss me while I'm on vacation, when my Mom makes my birthday dinner, when a great buddy draws a cartoon for me, when the dogs lay their heads on me while napping, when my customers tell my boss how great I am, and when any other random affection happens.

OK, I'm probably suffering from some psychological affliction, or maybe I'm a human. Who knows? Let's say I'm human. OK?

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

A Dream?

Well, here goes: This is the plunge. I've given over a year to this thought, and I'm very timid about posting it here. I'm hoping my friends will be supportive, or keep their thoughts to themselves. I honestly can NOT take any negativity right now. I will mirror this entry on my AOL journal...just to be up front and honest.

I visualize a book. A coffee-table book or something. I see the pictures, but don't yet see the text. I may ask for help on that later. I see some of Mom's poems, some of my memories, and some interview results.

I honestly won't say, yet, what I plan to do, but I'm starting on Friday. I know the pictures that need to be taken. I know how to organize them. I know what I'm looking for. I hope Mom will join me on my journey. If I become a famous, published author, you all get a free copy of my book. If I'm a proven failure, I'll deal with it, and appreciate your support. If I'm a proven failure and a laughing stock, I'll point fingers and implicate each of you by name.

Here's hoping. I'm 38. I can't keep waiting for something to happen. It's time to MAKE it happen. Cross your fingers.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Friday, March 9, 2007

Life is SOOO awesome!

OK, here's the deal. I posted earlier that I had ONE Trace Adkins ticket, and didn't want to go alone. Mom didn't want to go, my friends were all busy, and whoever bought a ticket and went with me would NOT sit with me. I just had ONE ticket.

I had to go on a business trip today, and I couldn't find my black socks, so I stopped at Wal-Mart. Hang with me, this will come together shortly. While driving, I heard a contest to win tickets to Trace.

You have to listen to a song snippet, then call in and sing the next line. I know every Trace song by heart, so I started dialing. busy. busy. busy. busy. I finally got through, and I said "what caller am I?" (14 is the magic number) and she said, "Well, if you know the next line, you're caller 14!" I almost fainted. I *did* know the next line (I know EVERY line to EVERY Trace song), and I'm walking through Wal-Mart. She said I'd have to hold a while, and I got my socks and went to the checkouts. When I handed over my money, while holding my cell phone with my shoulder, my hand was shaking. My heart was beating, and I seriously thought I might pass out.

I've won things before, but NEVER have I won something that I felt I REALLY wanted with ALL my heart. I got to the car and just sat there in the parking lot. When they took me off hold, I was greeted, then they played this line, from a Trace song: "Love ain't supposed to make sense...." and I had to sing, "This ain't no thinkin' thing, right brain, left brain, it goes a little deeper than that..." and I WON!!!!! I got two tickets to the concert tomorrow night, so Kevin can go with me! I am so excited. Now, I'm just looking for a sitter. The drama continues.

***added over an hour later***

Monica has been invited to stay at a friend's house tomorrow night. I have an extra ticket. If I can call the arena that the concert is in, tomorrow, Natalie will go with us. Not only will she LOVE it, Mom will be off the hook (since I cannot yet find a sitter.) I have a third ticket, but it's nowhere near the other two seats. She can sit on our laps, but I'll have to make sure it's kosher. I don't know how this will play out, but I'd love to NOT pay a sitter, and NOT ask Mom to keep Natalie on the weekend. The lady needs a day off, for goodness sake!

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Just a post

I'm wired, from thoughts of my unexpected trip tomorrow. Plus, I'm posting here as often as possible. Here is a picture for you:

This is a still-shot of Hawkeye catching a piece of popcorn. Do you have *any* idea how hard it is to catch this? It happens so fast. Can't see the popcorn? Look inside his mouth! It's there, and he's getting ready to grab it.

Wanna see a shot of BOTH dogs trying for a bite?

Lucy is getting almost as good at grabbing food mid-air as Hawkeye. Not quite, but almost.
Have a great night.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

A problem...sort of

So, we have a Secret Santa thingie at work. We draw names, set a price limit, then surprise each other for a couple of weeks, ending with a cool gift on Christmas week. The price limit protects us. Some of the folks I work with can afford a $200 gift at the drop of a hat. I'm doing good to do a $20 gift. That's life. I love the Secret Santa game, and get a kick out of the playing.

My Secret Santa, this past December, happens to be a good friend of mine. She knows me SO well. She hid a beer under my desk on two occasions, and I found some awesome smelling lotion on my desk one morning. She's great.

My "big" gift was a ticket to a Trace Adkins concert. He is the ultimate. He is my favorite. I'd drop my husband like a hot rock for that man (not really, but you get the idea.) He is built like a tall, muscle bound wedge, and he's hot hot HOT! I got a ticket. The show is this Saturday. I got *1* ticket. Price limitations and practicality.

If I don't go, I insult the giver. If I go, I go alone, and it's more than an hour from home. If it wasn't mortgage week, I'd buy a ticket for Kevin and drag him along...or buy a ticket for Mom, and beg her to go. She's aways up for a concert. I just don't have the $$$. I will try for the next two mornings to win tickets from my favorite radio station, but Birthday Bash tickets are the big giveaway right now. I *have* birthday bash tickets...for both nights.

I'll figure this out. There are bigger problems in the world than owning a ticket to a concert by your favorite artist. I just wish I had some solutions to this...Help?

Monday, March 5, 2007

Goodnight, all

A beautiful ending to a long day:

Saturday, March 3, 2007

A video

We find entertainment where we find it, now don't we? Hawkeye has a few tricks up his sleeve, but there is one he can't master. Lucy has mastered that one alone. Go figure. They make up for each others' weaknesses, I guess. They'll both do most anything for popcorn.

The sound seems to be "off" from the video. I don't know if it will stay that way, and I don't know if it's just this computer that sees it that way. Kevin seems to reward the dogs before they do the trick! LOL That's positive thinking, huh? If it appears that way to you, just know that there is a youtube issue.

Beautiful Saturday Bliss!

I love Saturday. I slept about 10 hours, if you count the time spent on the couch last night before Kevin kicked me in the head and told me to go to bed. (ok, maybe he said, "honey? let's go to bed." but it's the same thing, right?)

I awoke, made two pots of coffee (gotta love a carafe that you can take right to the computer desk, huh?) and sat at the computer, catching up on blogs, journals and email. Total relaxation. The house is a mess, and so much needs to be done, so I emailed Mom to make sure they'd be home today. I need somewhere to go so I don't feel guilty about the mess.

If you ever spend some time at my house, here is a piece of advice for free: Don't take a shower while the washer is going and dishes are being done, right after the 18 year old boy has showered. I knew this rule, but did it anyway. By the end, I had the cold turned off and it was barely warm enough to tolerate, but the shower made me feel better, anyway.

Wanna know what makes it hard for Kevin to navigate the World Wide Web? This does:

He asked that I not post this, since he hasn't showered and his hair is messed up, but let's be fair...Lucy hasn't showered either!
I hope your weekend is as awesome as mine has begun!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

A great day!

If you get a chance, and don't see my AOL journal (lets face it, both of you readers see my AOL journal) here is a link to an entry that I'm quite proud of. It was a great day!

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Howlin' wind

I'm thinking I should turn up the radio. Is there anything more lonesome sounding than wind howling? It just keeps blowing and blowing this morning, without letting up at all. I have a window in my bedroom that rattles, and I woke up wondering what in the heck I was hearing.

I'm ready for spring. Where are the flowers? What happened to the sun? How much longer until the girls ask to play in the sprinkler? What month will bring our first complaints about the electric bill? LOL

Snow is pretty...postcard pretty...but for the first time in a long time, we've had a real winter. And I've had enough!

Monday, February 12, 2007


How much snow will we get? Meteorologist Rachel predicts 2" here at home, and 2.5" at work. I'm just sayin'. I think I could do better than those hacks on T.V.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Which city am I?

You scored as Rio de Janeiro. You are Rio de Janeiro, Brazil! People probably consider you to be fun and outgoing. You have a contagious, colorful personality.

Rio de Janeiro










Which city shares your personality?
created with

Yeah, right. Whatever!

Well, let's get more serious

I think it's time to start learning more of the features here. AOL has lost my pictures, and they've been gone for almost a week. I'll lose 2/3 of my readers if I make this change, but that's really only 2 people, so who cares, right?

I'm going to keep playing here, so I'll be ready when AOL craps out completely.