Being More Careful

Yesterday was fun.  The girls even got up without struggles, and we left early for City Market.  I didn't have to ditch my group for a bench, even though these stupid steroids take my breath a lot.  I just moved slowly along and we had a good time.

When we got home, I realized that I'd need a nap or I'd never make it through the afternoon, so I went to bed at 1:30 with my alarm set for 3.  It went off, I felt dizzy, so I turned it off.  Backup alarm went off at 4:00, but still, I couldn't get out of bed.  I looked over by the bed, saw my full water glass, and started counting ounces.  I didn't get to count very high.

I'd had a lot of coffee while everyone got ready, and then I'd had a Diet Coke.  I filled my glass before we hit the road, and that's all the water I had all day.  We walked around in the sun and heat for a couple of hours, and I wasn't drinking anything.  I was good and dehydrated.

It took a couple of hours and a LOT of water and Gatorade to straighten me out.  My head finally stopped spinning and I was told I looked better after 2-3 hours.  After getting that straightened out, I was hungry and actually ate dinner.  That's saying something for day four.  If I'd stayed hydrated, I'd probably had an amazing day!  LOL

Today should be crash day, but as easy as the rest of this cycle has been, I plan to not let it happen.  I'm already pumping down water, and anything we do will be inside the a/c today.  Brooke will head back home tomorrow, and I don't want to waste any of our time crashed out in my chair.  I'm already sad about her leaving.  I want to make the most of today.

I just have to be more careful.  I let the fact that I was doing so well lead to a false sense of security.  I now know to enjoy the fact that this third cycle is being so good to me, and keep up with the things I know my body needs.  Like water.  Time for a refill!

Saturday

It may be too soon to claim victory, but I believe this round is easier.  I got eight hours of sleep on Thursday night (Kevin had to WAKE me for work!) and another 7 last night.  I didn't have a headache all day yesterday.  Not a single pain pill or Tylenol was necessary.  I'm still not enjoying the steroids and I'm still out of breath, but I think the cut-dose is something my body can become accustomed to.  Woo Hoo!

Today, we're going to the city market.  I doubt I'll make it as long as the rest of the group, but they have benches in various places and tables and chairs in the shade, so I can take a break when I need to.  We don't really need much in the way of produce, with Mom around, but it's fun to go, anyway.  We'll hit it early before it gets hot, too.  The planned group is myself, Kevin, Brooke and my girls.  Who knows if the girls will get out of bed in time.  :)

I'm going to hope that the trend for this cycle continues.  I felt pretty darned good  yesterday, even if I *did* fall asleep in the recliner at 8:30.  LOL  That's karma for all the times I've laughed at Kevin for nodding off.   Yup.  Karma.

A/C Cycle Three Begins - and Brooke!

My buddy Brooke flew in from Texas to surprise me on Monday night.  What a surprise it was, too!  I love it when she's here.  I don't feel like I have to entertain her, so I can go to bed when I need to and sit comatose in the recliner if I need to.  She jumps up and helps in the kitchen, whether it's preparing food, cleaning up, or anything else that needs done.  She's family, only not as lazy as the rest of us.  :)

She accompanied me to my infusion appointment yesterday.  We had my favorite nurse and she laughed with (at) us several times.  Having Brooke there made the time fly by.  After it was over, we made a quick stop at HyVee, and Brooke spotted an Einstein Bagels, nearly giving me whiplash as she pulled in to the parking lot. She loves them, and can't get them near her home.

After that, we came home, and it's good that we did.  I had hit my wall.  Thank goodness, my appetite wasn't completely gone yet, and I enjoyed a piece of pizza.  I had some rewards points built up with Papa Johns, and they have $10 large pizzas on Monday-Wednesday, so I got a great deal.  I'm such a tight-wad.

I was so exhausted that I went to bed at 7:30 and was asleep within 15 minutes.  When I woke up, there was light outside my window.  I looked at my phone and it was 8:40.  How depressing!  I forced myself to stay in bed and dozed off and on until midnight, when I gave up.  I probably got a total of 2 1/2 hours.  Stupid steroids.

Oh well.  Every two weeks, as soon as I start to feel good, I go again.  Thank goodness I only have one more dose of A/C, and then I switch to Taxol, which is supposed to be easier and pack fewer side effects.  I SO hope that proves true.  I still say I'm blessed with light side effects, but if I could eliminate the headache and insomnia, I'd be a happy camper!

I better sign off.  I only have 4 hours before I have to get ready for work!  LOL

And She's Back

After Sunday's crash and Monday's screaming bone pain, Tuesday was more tolerable.  My legs and lower back still hurt pretty darn bad, but it was tolerable and I could work.  My appetite was back, and I not only ate lunch, but also ate like crazy last night.

We're going to Mom's today for the fourth, so I'm glad to be feeling better.  I made pasta salad last night, and Kevin and I put together a fruit salad this morning.  We'll do hot dogs and brats, to minimize the time Kevin spends at the grill in the 100 degree heat.  Mom made a peach cobbler, and I've heard a rumor about potato salad.  Sounds like plenty of food, considering how few people will be there.  It's OK, though.  Leftovers are my friends.

I'm glad I've been keeping a chemo diary of sorts.  It helps me to know what to expect, and it gives me hope to know when my appetite returned last time, etc.  Otherwise, I think it would feel quite depressing during the five days or so that I don't want food.  I still get a headache every day, but it hasn't been as bad.  She said she'd cut the steroids further if this continued, so that will probably happen.  I'm kind of scared for her to do so, though, because the steroids are keeping me from being nauseous.

Oh well.  Like I said before, if a headache is the worst I have to deal with, I consider myself blessed.  I'll take some Advil and go enjoy my day.  We went a bit overboard with fireworks for the girls.  I think it's guilt on my part.  I feel like I've robbed my family of a summer, so I'm spoiling them when I can.  Because we'll have no vacation, no trips, and no amusement parks, I indulge them when an opportunity shows itself.  Eh.  It makes me feel better, ok?

The Quest for Tasty Food

Although I didn't want food this morning, I woke up hungry.  I was determined to find something other than crackers to take my meds with.  I found a lone packet of instant oatmeal in the cabinet and decided that it may just do the trick.  It did!  It was actually tasty.  That gave me hope to start eating again today.

Kevin went outside at 8:00 to start mowing, knowing it was going to be miserable again.  By the time he mowed everything, did the weed-eating, and made the yard look civil again, it was nearly noon...and HOT.  He showered and headed to the store with Monica.  I feel bad, but absolutely everything seems to fall on him now.  He's been amazing about it, but I still feel guilt.

My main wish for his shopping trip was fruit.  I thought fruit sounded good, and we had some frozen mixed fruit that I had thawed, and ate a bit of it.  It was very good.  He hooked me up!  I still had a cantaloupe, and he brought home apples, kiwi, grapes and strawberries.  The girls and I just combined all of the above and enjoyed the heck out of it.  It tasted SO good.

The other thing that I ate today was cucumber sandwich.  I had eaten a cucumber (from mom's garden) earlier in the day and it tasted pretty good, so I asked Kevin to bring me some cream cheese and dry Italian dressing mix.  It is supposed to sit for 24 hours, but I made a sandwich as soon as I mixed it up, and it was good, too.

I still don't want foods that I normally like, but it is SO nice to have something other than soup and saltines.  Tomorrow, Kevin is going to grill some chicken for me.  I have to get some protein in, and that sounds bland enough that I can probably eat it.  I was told that my white counts being low would make me short of breath, and I've certainly been short of breath today.

All in all, thanks to Kevin, I've had a good day.  I managed to do laundry, taking 10 minutes to catch my breath each time I came up the stairs, but managing to feel like I've contributed, anyway.  I plan to get a good night's sleep, since tomorrow is "crash" day.  I really don't want to sleep all day, but if that's what it takes to be able to get to work on Monday, that's what I'll do.

I'm thankful she cut my steroids in half.  I think it's contributing to my tired/weak feeling, but it should make my crash less intense, and I'm still getting enough of them to not be nauseous.  This medication balancing act is such a joy.  I've taken more pills in the past three weeks than I've taken in the past three years.  No joke.

A Visit to the Doctor

I had a visit with my oncologist today.  I've never been so excited for a doctor's appointment in my life.  That's kinda sad, but I couldn't wait to talk to her.  She was impressed by my overall lack of side effects (nausea, etc) and I was happy to see that I'd lost 8 lbs in the past two weeks.  Another benefit!  She was also more than ready to help find a solution to the headaches.

She believes that the problem is a combination of lack of sleep and the steroids.  (Mom was half right!)  I asked if it could truly be the steroids, since I haven't taken one in 10 days.  She assured me that it could be.  What's weird, is that I didn't have the headache when I was taking them.  It came later.  That's why she thinks it's in combination with a cumulative lack of sleep.

Her solution was to cut my steroids in half for this round, and she prescribed Ambien.  I get steroids in my IV before chemo, and then take the pills for the following three days.  Instead of two tablets twice a day, I'll be taking one tablet twice a day.  I really, REALLY need this to work, so I've decided that it's going to.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day.  I will be at the plastic surgeon's office for a tissue expander fill at 9:00 in the morning, and then back to this side of the state line for my infusion at 11:00.  Because they drew blood while I was there today (my whites are up, by the way,) it will speed things up for tomorrow.  No waiting for the lab to get the results sent upstairs.

On Thursday, I hope to get a full 8 hours in, and then I have my Neulasta shot at 4 pm.  Chemo weeks are SO busy, but it should make it go by quickly.  Also, after tomorrow, I can say that I'm halfway done with the A/C portion of my chemo.  That's 1/4 of the way done with chemo!  Positive thoughts.  Positive thoughts.  Positive thoughts.  Doritos.  Hey!  How'd THAT get in there?  Oh well.

The Whiny Post

Sorry to all those who have said how amazing I'm doing, but this post is whiny, so maybe skip it?  I like the idea of you guys thinking I'm such a butt kicker and all, but today nearly won this battle.

I woke up at 1:45, tried to go back to sleep until 2:30 and gave up.  Got up and ready, took meds, talked to Kevin, felt the 'roids kick in, and headed to work.  The morning went great, as always, because of the steroids, but they were taken earlier, so they also wore off earlier.  I should have left at noon, but I was sure I could get more time in.

It turns out good (in one way) that I did, since something came up at 1:00 that needs attention before Monday.  I volunteered to do it from home, since it can be done time anytime before Sunday  morning (on my time = doable for me) and I left at 1:30.  It was the first time that, all the way home, I regretted how long I'd stayed.  Or how far I lived from the lab.  Either one.  Both.

Now I'm back in the recliner.  I likely won't move until morning.  Two dear work friends bought Funhouse Pizza for me to bring home, so I have dinner on the table for my family like a good mom.  :)  If I wasn't a lump in the corner, someone might buy that line.  Anyway, so many coworkers have sent meals and food home and it has helped tremendously.

Tonight I take my last does of steroids, get my hair cut as soon as they open (before the medicine is out of my body) and get home.  I hear I'll likely sleep all day.  We'll see.  After three nights of not sleeping, I'll take a full day of it.  Also, I've been advised to ask my oncologist for a mild sleep aid for the next round, and I won't have to go through these three sleepless nights.

And this concludes the pissing and moaning.  Over and Out.

Edited later to add:  Make that FOUR sleepless nights.  *sigh*

Eight and a Half Hours

I didn't sleep well again last night, but I fell asleep (passed out hard, actually) quite easily the first time, and again after getting up 3 hours later for a restroom trip.  Drinking a lot of water must be done early in the day. Lesson learned.  I remedied that today.  :)

When I woke the second time, it was about 2:30, and upon returning to my chair (yes, I still cannot comfortably sleep in my own bed..BOO) I realized I wasn't going to get back to sleep.  Still, I forced myself to try for 45 minutes or so, and gave up and jumped online to waste some time until it was a normal time to wake up.

At 4, Kevin got up and showered, and then I showered and got ready for work.  It wasn't long before the steroids kicked in and and I realized, "You should be at work!  Use the hours you feel good wisely!"  I went in super early and accomplished a lot.  I wanted to make it until 2:45, but got caught up in a project, so I was there until 3:15.

The best part of the day was when they brought pizza in for a meeting in the conference room, and all of customer service could smell it.  They were all talking about how great it smelled.  I could smell it, but meh, whatever.  Food hasn't smelled good since Tuesday.  About 40 minutes later, I realized, "Hey!  That smells fantastic!"  I was able to scam a piece (since the folks in the conference room were done) and it tasted as good as it smelled.

I felt good through the whole day, until I got about 5 miles from home.  I suddenly wondered if I'd make it home before falling asleep.  LOL  I haven't left the chair since.  Still, though, I worked a full day, and that was my goal.

I win!