Weekly Update

I suppose that is a fitting title, since it's been a week since I last posted.  It seems weird to say, but life is pretty much going on as normal.  I never thought I'd be so happy for a normal, boring, routine life.  I made it through a five-day week after 2 three-day weeks.  It seemed long, but we made it.

I have an appointment with my plastic surgeon on Wednesday morning.  It's the 2-month post radiation visit. He'll evaluate how hard it was on me.  I have some questions for him, too.  I think I'm going to have to see a physical therapist for my left arm, but I want his opinion before deciding.  I'm also hoping that he'll schedule surgery.  It'll be 4 months down the road, but I want a date to look forward to.

We're having our roof replaced, and they got partly done before a cold front and snow came through.  There is a tarp on my roof.  Anyone who has ever seen my crazy neighbor's house knows how I feel about that.  They're to be back to work tomorrow, though.  It should be done this week.  Here's hoping.

I caught some cold bug that was sticking around too long, and my oncologist thought I should see our family doctor.  I did, and he prescribed a Z pack for me to prevent it from turning into anything ugly.  I have been told that I'll have to be super careful about illness from now on.  I was NOT raised to go to a doctor for a cold, so I felt silly being there, but our family doctor agreed that I should be there.  I'm almost over whatever it was, finally.  Just a bit of a tickle left in my throat.

It's 8:00, and my body has decided that I should turn in.  I'm trying to listen to my body when it comes to how much sleep I need.  I push it a bit later on most Tuesdays to watch Parenthood, but sometimes I can't make it.  Thank goodness for DVR.  I hope my sleep patterns get back to a pre-chemo state, but it doesn't seem like it's moving that direction.  I know other ladies (who went through this journey at the same time as me) who cannot sleep more than a few hours at a time, though.  I am smart enough to be thankful for the sleep I get, no matter when I get it.

Goodnight!

Good Times and Doctors

We had an absolutely amazing time with the kids and grandkids over the weekend.  It was everything we had hoped for.  The little cousins all played so well together, enjoyed the pool at the hotel, and LOVED the gifts we got them.  I was worried about it, because they were $100 each (three little girls,) but all of them are having a blast with them.  It's called a LeapPad II and it was well worth the money.

After having nearly a month with no doctor appointments (the longest stretch since surgery in April,) I have a follow-up with my radiologist on Friday.  I'm not looking forward to it, but it will be a quick appointment and should probably be my last with him.  I think.  I hope.  heh heh  We'll see.

Two weeks from today, I go see my plastic surgeon.  THAT is an appointment that I am looking forward to.  I absolutely love that doctor (and his nurse,) and it will be the appointment where they tell me when my exchange surgery will be.  I'm thinking late May.  I'm ready!

That's all I've got today.  I'm feeling good and I'm content.  Today, I am happy.

Chemo Day 6 of 8

I had an appointment with my oncologist yesterday.  I always have lab work and an appointment with her the day before chemo.  I really like her, and I trust her completely.  She's never been anything but honest and open with me.   However, I was in a foul mood when I got there yesterday, and it caused me to leave there mad at her.

I posted on Facebook that I could tell her that there is battery acid dripping from my eye sockets and my arms have fallen off, and she would smile, nod, and say sweetly, "Yes, you're doing great."  Normally, her positive attitude is what I need.  She is gentle and sweet and understanding.  I think the big ol' chip on my shoulder wanted her to say, "Wow, you're having a rough time, aren't you?  Here's a cookie."  LOL

The truth is, she really does think I'm doing very well, considering the side effects.  She sounds amazed every time she asks if I'm still working and I tell her that I am.  I keep saying that, if my job had better short-term disability pay, I'd take off until this was over.  The truth is, though, I'd be in a worse place, emotionally, if I was home all day feeding my pity party.  At least when I'm at work I am solving other people's problems and not thinking about my own.

Today is the day that I could have slept later.  However, Kevin is trying to get some overtime, so he was up early and the light shines in our room, so I was up by 4.  So much for sleeping in.  I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon (it takes fewer than 5 minutes for a tissue expander fill) and then I double back to this side of the state line for chemo.

Chemo day is a relaxing day.  Any side effects don't kick in for a couple of days, so it's not an uncomfortable experience in any way.  I can play on my computer and relax.  I can take lunch there if I choose, and they have a basket of snacks for those who find themselves hungry and ill prepared.  The nurses are caring and sweet and chatty and genuine.  I don't mind chemo day at all.

Three times, others have gone with me.  It was fun to have someone to visit with, although I always worry they'll be bored.  Kevin took reading material when he went, and my friends Brooke and Tammy each took a turn, hiding any boredom they experienced.

Kevin has planned an outing to Red Lobster for Sunday afternoon.  We don't eat out very often, and he wanted to treat us with some of his OT.  That is my incentive to not hurt so bad this time.  LOL  If it's as bad as last time, it'll just be him and the girls.  If I can do it, I'll be going along.  I LOVE Red Lobster.  Maybe I'll start taking pain pills now to make sure it doesn't get too bad.  I'm kidding, but I DO love those cheddar bay biscuits.

Wow, that turned into a rambling post.  When you wander around that much in a blog post, it's time to stop.

Halfway There, and Weird Thoughts

I'm sitting in "the chair," getting chemo treatment 4 of 8.  I'll be halfway done with this part of the journey in about 2 hours.  The drug that I start in 2 weeks is supposed to be much easier.  I'll take easier.  Although, once she got my headaches and sleeplessness under control, I can't say I have all that much to complain about on THIS set of drugs.

I also went to the plastic surgeon today for a tissue expander fill.  He only did 60 cc again because it's been a month and it would have hurt me too much to do more than that.  It hurts pretty dang bad, anyway.  This may be a day that I leave the infusion center, go home, pop a Valium and a pain pill and go to sleep.  Anyway, he says that if I go more often, it shouldn't hurt as bad, so we're only waiting two weeks this time.

I said this on Facebook, but I'm really laughing at myself about this.  Any time I go to ANY doctor, the nurse takes me back, takes my vitals, and says, "change into this gown, the doctor will be with you shortly."  I KNOW that I'm going to sit in that cold room for at least 20 minutes, yet I scramble to change as quickly as I possibly can.  Why?  What's the hurry?  I'm just going to sit there, feeling vulnerable, legs dangling from that paper covered table/bench/bed thing for what feels like DAYS.

I think I'm worried he'll walk in and see something.  See what?  You know, the same thing he's going to make me show him anyway!  What's the point of the speedy-change freak out?  I've been going to doctor appointments by myself for 25 years.  I have NEVER been walked in on, or even ALMOST been walked in on while changing.  How many more years will it take for me to slow down and take my time?

I wonder if they have a set amount of time that they wait, in case someone is a slow changer?  Does the nurse make a note of the time she walked out, so the doctor can wait the appropriate amount of time before coming in?  How long could even the slowest mover take to remove her shirt, remove her bra, put on a gown, and climb up on a paper covered table/bench/bed thing?  Two minutes?  Hmmm.  The things I ponder from the chemo chair.

A Visit to the Doctor

I had a visit with my oncologist today.  I've never been so excited for a doctor's appointment in my life.  That's kinda sad, but I couldn't wait to talk to her.  She was impressed by my overall lack of side effects (nausea, etc) and I was happy to see that I'd lost 8 lbs in the past two weeks.  Another benefit!  She was also more than ready to help find a solution to the headaches.

She believes that the problem is a combination of lack of sleep and the steroids.  (Mom was half right!)  I asked if it could truly be the steroids, since I haven't taken one in 10 days.  She assured me that it could be.  What's weird, is that I didn't have the headache when I was taking them.  It came later.  That's why she thinks it's in combination with a cumulative lack of sleep.

Her solution was to cut my steroids in half for this round, and she prescribed Ambien.  I get steroids in my IV before chemo, and then take the pills for the following three days.  Instead of two tablets twice a day, I'll be taking one tablet twice a day.  I really, REALLY need this to work, so I've decided that it's going to.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day.  I will be at the plastic surgeon's office for a tissue expander fill at 9:00 in the morning, and then back to this side of the state line for my infusion at 11:00.  Because they drew blood while I was there today (my whites are up, by the way,) it will speed things up for tomorrow.  No waiting for the lab to get the results sent upstairs.

On Thursday, I hope to get a full 8 hours in, and then I have my Neulasta shot at 4 pm.  Chemo weeks are SO busy, but it should make it go by quickly.  Also, after tomorrow, I can say that I'm halfway done with the A/C portion of my chemo.  That's 1/4 of the way done with chemo!  Positive thoughts.  Positive thoughts.  Positive thoughts.  Doritos.  Hey!  How'd THAT get in there?  Oh well.

Attitude Adjustment and the Breakfast of Champions

I have not been posting much lately because I have had an attitude problem for the past several days.  Time to get over it.  A crappy attitude is NOT going to fix anything.  I think I'm done pouting now, and ready to move on.  Sometimes you have to say, "What are ya gonna do?" and just go along with what has to be done.

Therefore, I will most likely be going back to work on Tuesday morning.  I really wanted to wait until Jaxson's departure, since that will be a pain to deal with, but whatever.  He's been holding steady at 50cc per day for nearly 3 weeks.  I'm going to the plastic surgeon's office this afternoon just because they haven't seen me in a while and they cannot believe that Jaxson is this stubborn.  The record in that office is 7 weeks for a JP drain to stay in, and Jaxson's been around for 5 weeks and 2 days (but who's counting?)

It'll also be good to have them verify that there are no signs of infection from me having it so long.  I've been on pretty strong antibiotics since surgery, so I doubt it, but it's worth letting them take a look, anyway.  They won't remove it with the output being this high, but maybe they can give me some guidance as to why the amount hasn't dropped in 3 weeks.

I was up until nearly 1:00 am, watching crap on TV.  I had an alarm set for 5:30 so the drain amount that I give them today is for exactly 24 hours.  (Why did I have to wake up so early yesterday?  LOL)  The plan was to go back to sleep.  So much for plans.  Natalie was in my room, watching TV (I sleep in the recliner and Kevin was gone to work) so I spoke to her, and then I instantly started thinking about today's appointment, so sleep was futile.

I started having coffee and doing my typical, early morning internet surfing, and Natalie said she would make some eggs for me.  The only problem was, we are apparently out of eggs.  Dang.  What did she offer to make instead?  Or stranger yet, what sounded REALLY good when she offered?  Grilled ham and cheese!  She fixed one for me and I had some of my mega thin chips with white queso dip, and it was an amazing breakfast!  What a sweet kid I have.

Oh, and the coffee we've been having is the best coffee in the world (in our opinion.)  It can only be found in Texas, because it's a store brand at HEB.  You can order online, but the price gets really high if you do that, so we stock up when we go to Texas, and our Texas friends always bring some along when they visit.  The problem is, we haven't been down there in nearly a year, and our friends haven't had the opportunity to visit, so we've been out for quite some time.

Actually, another friend (not from Texas) ordered online and had some sent to us in bulk since we were there last (shout out, 'Shell) but it's been gone for a while.  Well, one of my Texas friends (shout out, Susie!) sent a care package recently with SIX bags!  It is SO good.  I think I'll go refill my cup.

I only have four more hours to kill until we leave for my appointment.  *sigh*  Wouldn't it suck if they told me I had to quit coffee and chips in order to get rid of this drain?  ARGGG!  ::shudder::  What a nightmare THAT would be.

A Disappointing Day

Yesterday was the follow-up appointment with my plastic surgeon.  I kind of expected to get one drain removed, although I knew that the other one would be staying.  The output has to be less than 30cc in 24 hours, and I have one that will do 30 cc in one draining.  The other, however, has been hovering right around that 30 cc area and I was pretty sure it would go.

So Dad offered to take me to Independence to meet Kevin, saving him 40 miles of driving to get me to this appointment.  He picked me up, stopped by Sonic for me (he's a good Daddy like that) and we met up with Kevin.  As I got out of Dad's car and into Kevin's truck, the air hit me (it was very blustery yesterday) and I thought, "Why does my side feel wet?"

We got all of my stuff transferred to the truck and Dad took off.  I asked Kevin to please look at my side as I raised up my jacket as high as my limited-motion arm will allow.  I was soaked from just under my armpit to the waistband of my jeans.  WTH????  I haven't had any issue like this since surgery.

So here we are in Independence, headed to Leawood, KS, and I'm soaked.  Kevin had requested that I bring his tennis shoes to him, and I had grabbed a T shirt, too, since he gets so dirty at work.  He had remembered a shirt, so I had a spare T shirt, although it was quite big.  The other problem was the bra being soaked, and not having an ace bandage (my typical undergarment lately) with me.

We find a CVS, and bought gauze and could NOT find a normal ACE bandage.  It's a PHARMACY for goodness sake!  The closest they had was the kind that sticks to itself.  It wasn't ideal, but it would work to get us there.  We paid and then went together into the ladies' room for him to wrap me to the best of his ability.  Have I mentioned Kevin's willingness to do whatever it takes?

So much for stopping for a nice dinner somewhere, since I was now in an ace bandage, well, you don't want to be seen that way for MANY reasons.  Not just the imbalance.  The drains have to go somewhere and, well, it was going to be a drive-through for dinner.  Period.  That resulted in us arriving at the plastic surgeon's office nearly two hours early.  Kevin saw our (amazingly wonderful) nurse, Terri, and explained the situation to her.  She got us back into a room super-fast, cut the stupid ACE thing off me and got me into a gown.  From there on, I didn't mind waiting.

When it was our turn, Terri showed me how to "strip" the drains, and one of them needed it, which was the reason for the small amount on the last log entry for that one.  Turns out, even the other (slower) one wasn't coming out yesterday.  I got sent home with both.  I wanted to cry.

Everything else was great news.  He (the surgeon) said that everything looked awesome and I was healing very well and he had no concerns.  He answered any questions that I had and said that drain one would probably come out on Monday.  We'll see.  LOL  Drain two will be a bit longer.  As aggravating as it is to have them, removing them too early can be catastrophic, and I understand that.  I just wanted to cry.

So we got in the truck, I took my overdue medication, and cried until falling asleep.  Poor Kevin.  LOL  We came home and I wanted to be alone, so I decided to try sleeping in my bed.  BAD choice.  I woke up this morning hurting quite a bit.  Getting a shower and a re-wrap helped a lot, but it's back to the recliner for me. I think it'll be a while before I can comfortably sleep in bed again.

The bottom line is:  I'm healing well.  I need to get over myself when there are little setbacks, and I need to be more thankful for my friends who care.  I also need to travel with spare clothing, but that's another issue all together.

Appointment Tomorrow

Tomorrow afternoon is the follow-up with the plastic surgeon.  One drain will come out, the satan drain will not.  There is still just too much drainage.  It's depressing, but not surprising.  It'll probably be the middle of next week and she'll tell me to come back in, and then I'll need to get Dad to take me all the way to Leawood, KS.  Sheesh.  I'm trying not to be depressed by it, but I'm failing a bit right now.

The other things I'm experiencing are normal, I'm quite sure, but I'll ask anyway.  The outside of my left arm and my armpit feels like they have a bad sunburn.  I'm sure it's because of nerves that were cut and damaged during surgery, but I'll ask.

I also want to drive.  I know I can't drive with drains in, but as soon as they're out, I want to drive.  I'll stop pain pills cold turkey if I have to.  I can't be this dependent.  It's making me crazy.  I guess I'm just in a fowl mood about satan drain.  I'll get over it.  The timing will work out for a meal out before the appointment.  That should help, right?

Appointment Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my appointment with the plastic surgeon.  I don't have PDAS with this appointment, and I think I know why:  This doctor isn't going to give me any bad news.  When I saw the surgeon, I didn't know what to expect.  When I saw the oncologist, I didn't know what to expect.  This is the plastic surgeon.  He's going to fix what the other one does.

Sweet!  I can go to work before my appointment, and return to work after the appointment, and I will have NO symptoms of PDAS.  No sick stomach, no shaking legs, no shortness of breath, and no rapid heartbeat.  I'm not dreading this appointment at all.  I'm just waiting to find out what's next.  Let's get this party started.

More of the Cancer Chronicles

I got a couple of calls today.  The first was from the genetic testing.  I was negative for the changed chromosome that is a precursor for cancer.  What does this mean?  It means that I got this "just because."  I don't have to have my kids tested, their kids tested, my brother and his kids tested, etc.  I hadn't told my family yet (other than the girls,) but if it had been positive, I'd have had to call family and beg them to get tested.  Thank God I didn't have to make those calls.  It also means that I'm not at any more risk to get cancer again than you are.  It's nothin' but a thing.

The second call was the surgeons office, telling me that they'd set up an appointment with the plastic surgeon.  That will be on April 4.  This means that I will NOT be having surgery within the next 2 weeks.  After this appointment, they'll tell me when the surgery will happen.  In the mean time, I have to get the EKG and PET scan.  That gives me at least 2 weeks to keep things going at work.

PHEW!  That's enough for tonight.  Both girls went to spend the night with friends tonight, so I'll likely forget the dishes and just crash early.  Tomorrow?  Kevin and I are having a date day.  Not a date night.  An entire date day.  No telling what we'll do, but we're doin' it.  Sweet!