Family, Kami, and the Bi-Weekly Crash

I surprised Kevin and the girls Friday night by nabbing Kami for the weekend.  We haven't had her in over a month!  I'm scared to keep her when I'm home alone because of the medications that I take (in case she tries to wake me up or something,) and we have had several weekends of company.  This weekend found my family at home and no scheduled company, so I jumped at the chance.

Being day 3 of a chemo cycle, I was having trouble functioning Friday night when I stopped by mom's, but my brother is in town and I wanted to see what was going on over there.  Slowly, the rest of my clan showed up to be surprised by Kameron running to them.  At that point, I headed home to my trusty recliner.

Kevin and I went to the grocery store yesterday, leaving Kami with the girls.  I made it through the store OK, although still running out of breath easily.  I think that is all due to steroids, and I shouldn't have to take those any more, now that my chemo regimen had changed.  After getting groceries all put away, we headed to Mom's for the afternoon.

My appetite was starting to come back, but fruit is all that sounded good, so I ate a ton of fruit.  LOL  Kevin, my brother Jim, and the others all spent HOURS shooting skeet and targets in the back, while I hung at the house with Kami, Mom, and the other non-shooters.  It was nice to spend a whole afternoon over there, although I feel like such a slug when I barely move from the chair.

By last night, I ate part of a cardboard pizza (am I the only one who calls them that?) and it seems that my appetite is back.  This morning's cereal tasted amazing.  Today is crash day, but hopefully my last crash day. If it's true that I no longer need the steroids, then it should be my last.  I'm hoping that Kami wakes up soon so we can play before I melt into a pile of goo in this chair for the rest of the day.

My brother and his family will head home this morning.  I didn't get to see a ton of them, but it was nice to see them as much as I did.  It's been a long time.  I hate that cancer chemo robbed me of being able to take part in the festivities more, but I'm thankful that it exists.  I hope they get home safely and come back sooner next time.  I'll be ready to hang with the gang by then!

Surviving the Crash

I got out early to see Mom and Dad, and was glad I did.  As I sat on their couch, I could feel it coming.  It made me glad that we live fewer than two miles away from them.  I got home in time for "the crash."  The crash comes after the oral steroids are gone, and seems to leave me comatose for most of a day.  I asked Kevin to take the girls to get some lunch or something and I headed to bed.

Just like last time, I alternated between the bed and the recliner.  My limbs are like spaghetti and my lower back and legs hurt.  My head is full of oatmeal and my conversational skills are that of a carrot.  I'm so glad this only happens once per chemo cycle.  I gave in and went to bed around 6:30 last night, but even with Ambien I was awake at midnight.

I forced myself to stay in bed, and even dozed a bit, until 2:00.  At that point, I gave up.  I may as well get ready for work, if I'm going to be awake.  I'm also losing hair by the hands-full.  You can't tell to look at my head, but it's time to wear a hat, simply for shed control.  Every day is an adventure for me right now.   I should feel a bit better each day this week, so that is something to look forward to.

I'm also thankful that I've found more that sounds good to eat this time around.  Fruit is good, as is chicken and potatoes.  At least I can get some protein, if chicken tastes good to me.  Kevin grilled a bunch up for me, so I'll take that for lunches this week.  I hear the protein will make me feel better.  

Finally, the headaches are still here, but very mild compared to before.  My sleep patterns aren't improving, but the steroids being cut must have helped some.  Days seven and eight of the last cycle are the days when my headache hit the hardest, and I'm day six of this cycle.  I'm determined it's not going to happen this time.  

Oh, and we get Wednesday off!  Another plus!  I can't be in the sun and I wear out pretty easily, but Mom has a/c, so we'll go out there and let the girls blow some stuff up.  Yup, just another week, surviving chemo.

The Quest for Tasty Food

Although I didn't want food this morning, I woke up hungry.  I was determined to find something other than crackers to take my meds with.  I found a lone packet of instant oatmeal in the cabinet and decided that it may just do the trick.  It did!  It was actually tasty.  That gave me hope to start eating again today.

Kevin went outside at 8:00 to start mowing, knowing it was going to be miserable again.  By the time he mowed everything, did the weed-eating, and made the yard look civil again, it was nearly noon...and HOT.  He showered and headed to the store with Monica.  I feel bad, but absolutely everything seems to fall on him now.  He's been amazing about it, but I still feel guilt.

My main wish for his shopping trip was fruit.  I thought fruit sounded good, and we had some frozen mixed fruit that I had thawed, and ate a bit of it.  It was very good.  He hooked me up!  I still had a cantaloupe, and he brought home apples, kiwi, grapes and strawberries.  The girls and I just combined all of the above and enjoyed the heck out of it.  It tasted SO good.

The other thing that I ate today was cucumber sandwich.  I had eaten a cucumber (from mom's garden) earlier in the day and it tasted pretty good, so I asked Kevin to bring me some cream cheese and dry Italian dressing mix.  It is supposed to sit for 24 hours, but I made a sandwich as soon as I mixed it up, and it was good, too.

I still don't want foods that I normally like, but it is SO nice to have something other than soup and saltines.  Tomorrow, Kevin is going to grill some chicken for me.  I have to get some protein in, and that sounds bland enough that I can probably eat it.  I was told that my white counts being low would make me short of breath, and I've certainly been short of breath today.

All in all, thanks to Kevin, I've had a good day.  I managed to do laundry, taking 10 minutes to catch my breath each time I came up the stairs, but managing to feel like I've contributed, anyway.  I plan to get a good night's sleep, since tomorrow is "crash" day.  I really don't want to sleep all day, but if that's what it takes to be able to get to work on Monday, that's what I'll do.

I'm thankful she cut my steroids in half.  I think it's contributing to my tired/weak feeling, but it should make my crash less intense, and I'm still getting enough of them to not be nauseous.  This medication balancing act is such a joy.  I've taken more pills in the past three weeks than I've taken in the past three years.  No joke.