Although I didn't want food this morning, I woke up hungry. I was determined to find something other than crackers to take my meds with. I found a lone packet of instant oatmeal in the cabinet and decided that it may just do the trick. It did! It was actually tasty. That gave me hope to start eating again today.
Kevin went outside at 8:00 to start mowing, knowing it was going to be miserable again. By the time he mowed everything, did the weed-eating, and made the yard look civil again, it was nearly noon...and HOT. He showered and headed to the store with Monica. I feel bad, but absolutely everything seems to fall on him now. He's been amazing about it, but I still feel guilt.
My main wish for his shopping trip was fruit. I thought fruit sounded good, and we had some frozen mixed fruit that I had thawed, and ate a bit of it. It was very good. He hooked me up! I still had a cantaloupe, and he brought home apples, kiwi, grapes and strawberries. The girls and I just combined all of the above and enjoyed the heck out of it. It tasted SO good.
The other thing that I ate today was cucumber sandwich. I had eaten a cucumber (from mom's garden) earlier in the day and it tasted pretty good, so I asked Kevin to bring me some cream cheese and dry Italian dressing mix. It is supposed to sit for 24 hours, but I made a sandwich as soon as I mixed it up, and it was good, too.
I still don't want foods that I normally like, but it is SO nice to have something other than soup and saltines. Tomorrow, Kevin is going to grill some chicken for me. I have to get some protein in, and that sounds bland enough that I can probably eat it. I was told that my white counts being low would make me short of breath, and I've certainly been short of breath today.
All in all, thanks to Kevin, I've had a good day. I managed to do laundry, taking 10 minutes to catch my breath each time I came up the stairs, but managing to feel like I've contributed, anyway. I plan to get a good night's sleep, since tomorrow is "crash" day. I really don't want to sleep all day, but if that's what it takes to be able to get to work on Monday, that's what I'll do.
I'm thankful she cut my steroids in half. I think it's contributing to my tired/weak feeling, but it should make my crash less intense, and I'm still getting enough of them to not be nauseous. This medication balancing act is such a joy. I've taken more pills in the past three weeks than I've taken in the past three years. No joke.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Friday, June 29, 2012
I Have to be More Careful
The change in dose that my oncologist did for the steroids seems to be a good thing. I'm not hyped up and jittery for a couple hours after each dose, and for that, my coworkers are likely quite thankful. Yesterday, I wore out earlier than I liked, and only got six hours in. Still, not bad for day two of this cycle. I got plenty of sleep last night, so I felt pretty darn good this morning. I still had no appetite, so I ate six saltines, took my meds and hit the door.
Work went fine. I felt much better today, and managed to get nine hours in. I ate a few more crackers around noon, since I know it's not good to let my stomach be completely empty. Even with the extra hour, I felt pretty darned good when I left work. I needed to stop at Walmart for some medication and diet Coke, but I hoped that wouldn't take long.
Monica called me to say that she needed a prescription refilled, too. I was too close for calling it in to be of any value, so I went in and headed to the pharmacy to tell them about it. They told me it would be 15 minutes. No problem. I grabbed the other things I needed and started to circle back toward the pharmacy. I was halfway back when I realized how light-headed I was. Uh oh. This was suddenly turning out to be a very bad idea.
I walked slowly and deliberately back toward the pharmacy, hanging on to the cart. Thank goodness they have a bench for waiting. By the time they called me over, I felt a little bit better. By the time I got checked out and to the car, though, it was back. I knew I had to get home, so I blasted the a/c for a minute or two and headed this way.
I made it home just fine, got in the house, and fell into bed. Thank goodness, Kevin was only about five minutes behind me and realized what shape I was in. He heated up some soup for me, fixed a cold drink and brought it to me. I ate, which instantly started to make me feel better, and took my meds. I am exhausted, but no longer shaky or light headed.
Lesson learned. I am going to HAVE to force food at work. I just can't find anything bland enough, other than chicken noodle soup. And that, my friends, is getting quite old. I'm thinking maybe I'll try a baked potato tomorrow. That sounds bland. Oh, and now I remember the nurse saying I would be short of breath because of a shortage of red blood cells, and to get plenty of protein. Yeah, right.
I'm just glad to know that I should be hungry again Sunday or Monday. Mom has some tomatoes with my name on them.
Work went fine. I felt much better today, and managed to get nine hours in. I ate a few more crackers around noon, since I know it's not good to let my stomach be completely empty. Even with the extra hour, I felt pretty darned good when I left work. I needed to stop at Walmart for some medication and diet Coke, but I hoped that wouldn't take long.
Monica called me to say that she needed a prescription refilled, too. I was too close for calling it in to be of any value, so I went in and headed to the pharmacy to tell them about it. They told me it would be 15 minutes. No problem. I grabbed the other things I needed and started to circle back toward the pharmacy. I was halfway back when I realized how light-headed I was. Uh oh. This was suddenly turning out to be a very bad idea.
I walked slowly and deliberately back toward the pharmacy, hanging on to the cart. Thank goodness they have a bench for waiting. By the time they called me over, I felt a little bit better. By the time I got checked out and to the car, though, it was back. I knew I had to get home, so I blasted the a/c for a minute or two and headed this way.
I made it home just fine, got in the house, and fell into bed. Thank goodness, Kevin was only about five minutes behind me and realized what shape I was in. He heated up some soup for me, fixed a cold drink and brought it to me. I ate, which instantly started to make me feel better, and took my meds. I am exhausted, but no longer shaky or light headed.
Lesson learned. I am going to HAVE to force food at work. I just can't find anything bland enough, other than chicken noodle soup. And that, my friends, is getting quite old. I'm thinking maybe I'll try a baked potato tomorrow. That sounds bland. Oh, and now I remember the nurse saying I would be short of breath because of a shortage of red blood cells, and to get plenty of protein. Yeah, right.
I'm just glad to know that I should be hungry again Sunday or Monday. Mom has some tomatoes with my name on them.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Goodbye Again, Appetite
Right on schedule, I want nothing to do with food. *sigh* I bugged out of work at 11:30 this morning, two hours earlier than I had planned, but I was feeling crappy. I knew it was too early for my Neulasta shot, since it has to be 24 hours after chemo, so I stopped at Target. I was about halfway through and got REALLY light headed. That's when it hit me that I had ingested nothing other than Gatorade and water all day, and it was noon.
I went to the snack bar to see if there was anything there that I could force down, and they had a yogurt parfait. I paid $2 for $.50 worth of yogurt, so I forced it down, and then regretted it. It took care of the shaky feeling, but it sat on my stomach like a rock.
They got me in early for my shot (my initial appointment was for 4:00, but they took me at 1:15,) and I came home. I haven't much left my bed since. I did eat a few saltines to take my medicine, and at 6:30 I forced down some soup.
This is my bi-weekly whiny post, I suppose. I've burned it up awfully early. Didn't make it past day 2. LOL
I went to the snack bar to see if there was anything there that I could force down, and they had a yogurt parfait. I paid $2 for $.50 worth of yogurt, so I forced it down, and then regretted it. It took care of the shaky feeling, but it sat on my stomach like a rock.
They got me in early for my shot (my initial appointment was for 4:00, but they took me at 1:15,) and I came home. I haven't much left my bed since. I did eat a few saltines to take my medicine, and at 6:30 I forced down some soup.
This is my bi-weekly whiny post, I suppose. I've burned it up awfully early. Didn't make it past day 2. LOL
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Chemo, Round Two
This time, I remembered to jot down the names of everything they give me in that IV. I know they switch things out a lot, and I was mad at myself for not taking notes the first time. I'll share what they are, but first I have to give a shout-out to my girls.
I went by myself this time, armed with computer, books, etc to occupy my time. I fired up the computer, and within five minutes, Monica was sending a Skype request. I accepted, and then laughed the remainder of my time there. She started out by dancing for me. She turned on music and just went to town, dancing and dancing longer than you can imagine. The nurse got a big kick out of it, too.
Soon, Natalie joined her and they both danced. We chatted and made bad jokes and laughed. Monica even played her guitar and sang for me! At one point, the nurse called another nurse to come watch. They both laughed with us. Later, she told me that she's been doing this for 23 years, and has never been serenaded before. It really made the time fly by!
Now, back to all the IV bag swapping! Here is the stuff that I currently get, every other Wednesday. Bags 3, 5, and 7 are the same bag, they just switch to it between other stuff. All of it goes through my port access, but the Adriamycin has to be done via syringe (slowly) and watched. It's some bad-ass stuff. Fun fact: Makes me pee red, too. TMI? Sorry. Too late. Here goes:
Bag 1
Dexamethasone - Steroid
Famotidine -Nausea
Palonosetron - Nausea
Bag 2
Emend - Nausea
Bag 3
Saline
Bag 4
Adriamycin via syringe (2) - Chemo
Bag 5
Saline
Bag 6
Cytoxan - Chemo
Bag 7
Saline
I went by myself this time, armed with computer, books, etc to occupy my time. I fired up the computer, and within five minutes, Monica was sending a Skype request. I accepted, and then laughed the remainder of my time there. She started out by dancing for me. She turned on music and just went to town, dancing and dancing longer than you can imagine. The nurse got a big kick out of it, too.
Soon, Natalie joined her and they both danced. We chatted and made bad jokes and laughed. Monica even played her guitar and sang for me! At one point, the nurse called another nurse to come watch. They both laughed with us. Later, she told me that she's been doing this for 23 years, and has never been serenaded before. It really made the time fly by!
Now, back to all the IV bag swapping! Here is the stuff that I currently get, every other Wednesday. Bags 3, 5, and 7 are the same bag, they just switch to it between other stuff. All of it goes through my port access, but the Adriamycin has to be done via syringe (slowly) and watched. It's some bad-ass stuff. Fun fact: Makes me pee red, too. TMI? Sorry. Too late. Here goes:
Bag 1
Dexamethasone - Steroid
Famotidine -Nausea
Palonosetron - Nausea
Bag 2
Emend - Nausea
Bag 3
Saline
Bag 4
Adriamycin via syringe (2) - Chemo
Bag 5
Saline
Bag 6
Cytoxan - Chemo
Bag 7
Saline
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
A Visit to the Doctor
I had a visit with my oncologist today. I've never been so excited for a doctor's appointment in my life. That's kinda sad, but I couldn't wait to talk to her. She was impressed by my overall lack of side effects (nausea, etc) and I was happy to see that I'd lost 8 lbs in the past two weeks. Another benefit! She was also more than ready to help find a solution to the headaches.
She believes that the problem is a combination of lack of sleep and the steroids. (Mom was half right!) I asked if it could truly be the steroids, since I haven't taken one in 10 days. She assured me that it could be. What's weird, is that I didn't have the headache when I was taking them. It came later. That's why she thinks it's in combination with a cumulative lack of sleep.
Her solution was to cut my steroids in half for this round, and she prescribed Ambien. I get steroids in my IV before chemo, and then take the pills for the following three days. Instead of two tablets twice a day, I'll be taking one tablet twice a day. I really, REALLY need this to work, so I've decided that it's going to.
Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. I will be at the plastic surgeon's office for a tissue expander fill at 9:00 in the morning, and then back to this side of the state line for my infusion at 11:00. Because they drew blood while I was there today (my whites are up, by the way,) it will speed things up for tomorrow. No waiting for the lab to get the results sent upstairs.
On Thursday, I hope to get a full 8 hours in, and then I have my Neulasta shot at 4 pm. Chemo weeks are SO busy, but it should make it go by quickly. Also, after tomorrow, I can say that I'm halfway done with the A/C portion of my chemo. That's 1/4 of the way done with chemo! Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts. Doritos. Hey! How'd THAT get in there? Oh well.
She believes that the problem is a combination of lack of sleep and the steroids. (Mom was half right!) I asked if it could truly be the steroids, since I haven't taken one in 10 days. She assured me that it could be. What's weird, is that I didn't have the headache when I was taking them. It came later. That's why she thinks it's in combination with a cumulative lack of sleep.
Her solution was to cut my steroids in half for this round, and she prescribed Ambien. I get steroids in my IV before chemo, and then take the pills for the following three days. Instead of two tablets twice a day, I'll be taking one tablet twice a day. I really, REALLY need this to work, so I've decided that it's going to.
Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. I will be at the plastic surgeon's office for a tissue expander fill at 9:00 in the morning, and then back to this side of the state line for my infusion at 11:00. Because they drew blood while I was there today (my whites are up, by the way,) it will speed things up for tomorrow. No waiting for the lab to get the results sent upstairs.
On Thursday, I hope to get a full 8 hours in, and then I have my Neulasta shot at 4 pm. Chemo weeks are SO busy, but it should make it go by quickly. Also, after tomorrow, I can say that I'm halfway done with the A/C portion of my chemo. That's 1/4 of the way done with chemo! Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts. Doritos. Hey! How'd THAT get in there? Oh well.
Monday, June 25, 2012
This is Getting Ridiculous
I've officially had a headache for nine days in a row. I don't have it all day, but it lingers around for most of the day. I'm keeping a "chemo diary" of sorts, so I can track trends and watch for side effects. That's how I noticed that I have had a headache since June 17th. That's the first time it was noted in those notes. I'm a little slow at connecting dots sometimes, so it wasn't until the past 5 days that I've really been trying to figure out what is triggering the dang things.
I thought I may have cut caffeine too quickly, so I added some back. It's not caffeine. I thought it might be from one of my medications, but I haven't taken any medications in over a week. It's not medication. I thought that it may have something to do with lack of sleep, but I've been taking a sleep aid two out of three days, and am now getting plenty of sleep on those nights. It's not lack of sleep.
I started noticing, over the past five days or so that I don't usually wake up with it. Maybe I have NEVER had it first thing in the morning, but I'm slow to connect the dots (or sometimes even recognize the dots,) remember?
So I've been pouring over my short-hand type notes, and trying to figure it out. I noticed that I got it not long after eating a square of lasagna yesterday. Kevin and I discussed that it could be cheese or some component in that dish, so I decided to note what I have recently eaten when this stupid headache shows up.
This morning I had no headache. I always feel so good as I head out to work! Plenty of energy and no headache. When I got there, I put in a couple of hours and decided I was hungry. I ate some cantaloupe that I had cut up and brought along, as well as a trail mix granola bar. Not even ten minutes had passed before my head started to ache.
The headache was still there at lunch time, so I thought, "In for a penny, in for a pound!" and ate my leftovers. By the time I hit the eight hour mark, I couldn't take any more and I headed home. I've been in bed since I got here, wishing my head would just STOP already.
My final observation is that my head didn't hurt while I had all the other side effects. Remember what I ate during that time? Nothing, unless I forced down chicken noodle soup or mac-n-cheese. Bland foods. I'm now wondering if it will stop hurting if I switch back to only bland things. That will be the next thing I try, if left to my own devices.
I hope that I won't be, though. I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow morning. I'm going to talk this out with her and see if she has any ideas. A week or so ago, I joked, "Well, at least I only have to deal with this for 16 weeks." It's not funny anymore. I can't do this for (now) 14 more weeks. Most days, I would rate the pain at a three or four on the 1-10 pain scale. Today's was easily an eight or nine.
Nope. I can't do this. Well, let me correct that statement. If I had a choice, I would say that about breast cancer. "I can't do this." However, I can do this, and I am doing it. If I find no relief, I guess I'll have no more say about the headache than I do about cancer. However, as amazing as my health care providers have done in preventing or minimizing side effects, I'm sure they'll have something I can try.
I thought I may have cut caffeine too quickly, so I added some back. It's not caffeine. I thought it might be from one of my medications, but I haven't taken any medications in over a week. It's not medication. I thought that it may have something to do with lack of sleep, but I've been taking a sleep aid two out of three days, and am now getting plenty of sleep on those nights. It's not lack of sleep.
I started noticing, over the past five days or so that I don't usually wake up with it. Maybe I have NEVER had it first thing in the morning, but I'm slow to connect the dots (or sometimes even recognize the dots,) remember?
So I've been pouring over my short-hand type notes, and trying to figure it out. I noticed that I got it not long after eating a square of lasagna yesterday. Kevin and I discussed that it could be cheese or some component in that dish, so I decided to note what I have recently eaten when this stupid headache shows up.
This morning I had no headache. I always feel so good as I head out to work! Plenty of energy and no headache. When I got there, I put in a couple of hours and decided I was hungry. I ate some cantaloupe that I had cut up and brought along, as well as a trail mix granola bar. Not even ten minutes had passed before my head started to ache.
The headache was still there at lunch time, so I thought, "In for a penny, in for a pound!" and ate my leftovers. By the time I hit the eight hour mark, I couldn't take any more and I headed home. I've been in bed since I got here, wishing my head would just STOP already.
My final observation is that my head didn't hurt while I had all the other side effects. Remember what I ate during that time? Nothing, unless I forced down chicken noodle soup or mac-n-cheese. Bland foods. I'm now wondering if it will stop hurting if I switch back to only bland things. That will be the next thing I try, if left to my own devices.
I hope that I won't be, though. I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow morning. I'm going to talk this out with her and see if she has any ideas. A week or so ago, I joked, "Well, at least I only have to deal with this for 16 weeks." It's not funny anymore. I can't do this for (now) 14 more weeks. Most days, I would rate the pain at a three or four on the 1-10 pain scale. Today's was easily an eight or nine.
Nope. I can't do this. Well, let me correct that statement. If I had a choice, I would say that about breast cancer. "I can't do this." However, I can do this, and I am doing it. If I find no relief, I guess I'll have no more say about the headache than I do about cancer. However, as amazing as my health care providers have done in preventing or minimizing side effects, I'm sure they'll have something I can try.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Quarantine!
That is a dramatic title, isn't it? LOL That's me. I'm all about the drama.
Kevin and I left the house shortly after five yesterday morning. I do my best in the morning, and lose steam in the afternoon, so we headed out before the sun came up. IHOP was our breakfast choice, and then we did some shopping. I'm at a point in my chemo cycle that I really shouldn't be out around the germs that come with John Q. Public, but I was careful not to touch anything, and it was so early that there were no crowds.
By nine, I was starting to get tired. I didn't even want to stay at WalMart long enough to get groceries. We had grabbed the other things we needed, and I just wanted to be home. I knew Kevin wanted to eat Chinese before the day was over, so I suggested that he take the girls for dinner and they do the grocery shopping. A plan was formed.
I took a nap while the girls cleaned the house. They've been slacking on chores lately, so the whole job was theirs. I must say that they did a pretty darn good job. I was happy with what I saw when I woke up. They left for their adventure, and I went to visit my aunt and cousin for a while. I got home before them and ate some dinner.
Later in the evening, Natalie sat down on the love seat and sneezed. I asked if she was sick. "I don't think so." was her answer, but her voice sounded very nasal. And then she sneezed again. By then it was after 8:30, so I just went to bed. This morning I sanitized the remote controls, light switch plates, and anything else that I thought she may have touched.
A little bit ago she came upstairs. Yup, she's sick. I can't chance getting sick or it will postpone my chemo that is scheduled for Wednesday. Postponing chemotherapy gives the cancer cells a chance to recover and start growing and multiplying again. I do NOT want to postpone it. Therefore, I am in my room for the day. This is a germ-free zone. I have a TV, my laptop, books and magazines, and my water bottle. I think I'm set.
Kevin and I left the house shortly after five yesterday morning. I do my best in the morning, and lose steam in the afternoon, so we headed out before the sun came up. IHOP was our breakfast choice, and then we did some shopping. I'm at a point in my chemo cycle that I really shouldn't be out around the germs that come with John Q. Public, but I was careful not to touch anything, and it was so early that there were no crowds.
By nine, I was starting to get tired. I didn't even want to stay at WalMart long enough to get groceries. We had grabbed the other things we needed, and I just wanted to be home. I knew Kevin wanted to eat Chinese before the day was over, so I suggested that he take the girls for dinner and they do the grocery shopping. A plan was formed.
I took a nap while the girls cleaned the house. They've been slacking on chores lately, so the whole job was theirs. I must say that they did a pretty darn good job. I was happy with what I saw when I woke up. They left for their adventure, and I went to visit my aunt and cousin for a while. I got home before them and ate some dinner.
Later in the evening, Natalie sat down on the love seat and sneezed. I asked if she was sick. "I don't think so." was her answer, but her voice sounded very nasal. And then she sneezed again. By then it was after 8:30, so I just went to bed. This morning I sanitized the remote controls, light switch plates, and anything else that I thought she may have touched.
A little bit ago she came upstairs. Yup, she's sick. I can't chance getting sick or it will postpone my chemo that is scheduled for Wednesday. Postponing chemotherapy gives the cancer cells a chance to recover and start growing and multiplying again. I do NOT want to postpone it. Therefore, I am in my room for the day. This is a germ-free zone. I have a TV, my laptop, books and magazines, and my water bottle. I think I'm set.
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