I had a follow-up with my oncologist today. I was glad to have an appointment with a doctor, as weird as that sounds. I feel like I spent all summer fighting cancer. As soon as radiation was done, I started doing...nothing. I feel like I've just stopped fighting it, and that makes me very uneasy. I told her that, and she said that it is a very common feeling, and that I had to trust that we've done it. Easier said than done.
I asked if she would please do a blood draw to make sure my whites had gotten back to normal levels. I'm pretty sure they are, since I've had two colds and gotten rid of them both within three days, but I want to be sure. She was very nice about it and told me that they would be happy to. That means that I got to see Marie! She's my favorite chemo nurse! It was awesome to see her while feeling good, instead of in a chemo-induced stupor. I'll get the results of the blood tests tomorrow. ::fingers crossed::
I was also given the prescription for Tamoxifen. Because my cancer was the type that feeds on estrogen, this is a medication that decreases the estrogen in my body. I will take one pill per day for 5 years. 1825 pills. Wait. There is a leap-year in there. 1826 pills. I hope that the side effects are minimal.
There is a chance, if I was perimenopausal, that this drug will push me into menopause. Because of the "chemopause," (fake menopause brought on by chemotherapy,) I won't know for a while if this is the case. Oh goodie. More unknowns. I do know that I'm sick of hot flashes and the most common side effect of Tamoxifen is hot flashes. *sigh*
She was happy with my progress, and I am to go back and see her in three months. After that, I'll likely see her every six months for the next five years. I wish someone would do blood work or a scan and say, "Yes! You are cancer free!" but that isn't going to happen. I just have to trust that it's gone. I have to trust the doctors. I have to trust the medication. I have to trust the treatments. I have to trust God.
I'm working on it.
Showing posts with label treatment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label treatment. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Getting On With My Life
Wow. I haven't posted for a long time. You're welcome. Busy season at work and changing back to my regular hours has found me pretty dang tired by the time I get home. Too tired to type? OK, that sounds pretty lame, but I honestly get home and do next to nothing.
Last weekend, I decided I wanted to go to St. Louis to see my aunt Charlene and her husband Pat. The last time we were there, we said we'd do it more often because it didn't take long to get there. That was 2 years ago. I told Kevin that I wasn't going to do that anymore. A year of facing your own mortality will make a person stop planning and start doing. It was a fun trip, although far too short. We're already talking about what we'll do the next time we go.
I found the suspicious lump in January and had a biopsy in February. I was diagnosed in March and had surgery in April. I got back to work in June. I finished chemo on September 19th and finished radiation on November 14th. I have follow up appointments happening now, but that's about it until the exchange surgery, which will be late May or early June. I should be super excited that I'm completing treatment, and I am happy, but I'm constantly unsettled.
I think that treatment kept me occupied. I was doing something. I was actively fighting cancer. Somehow it isn't as easy as it should be to accept, "OK. You're all better. Go on with your regularly scheduled life now." Your brain doesn't work like that. I want to ask, "So that's it?" but then again, I don't want to ask that at all.
My hair is finally growing back. It's not as long as a crew cut yet, but it's moved from "fuzz" to "hair." LOL The gray is a lot easier to see right now, but that's what hair color is for. I'm just looking forward to the day that I have to "fix my hair" to go somewhere. Silly but true.
I know some people see a therapist after cancer treatment. I've never considered myself the type to see someone like that, but I see why some do. I'm not even saying that I won't. I just haven't decided yet. I'm fine most of the time, but not all the time. I know I'll never be the same as before, but I'd like to get past the anxiety issues that sneak up on me at inopportune times.
It makes me VERY thankful for my Facebook group of friends who have gone through this with me. We are small enough to have gotten to know each other, but big enough that someone is on pretty much 24/7. If I can't sleep and it's 2 am and I feel the need to chat, someone is there. Someone to listen to me whine, or laugh at my jokes, or commiserate about the state of our skin after radiation. So far, that's all the therapy I need.
Overall, I am fine. I have been cancer-free since surgery in April. The chemo and radiation were both "just in case." That is a lot of ammo to go through just because there "might be a burglar out there somewhere," but it's what was advised, so that's what I did. And I'm fine. 2012 is a year that I'll be glad to put behind me, but I got through it.
Last weekend, I decided I wanted to go to St. Louis to see my aunt Charlene and her husband Pat. The last time we were there, we said we'd do it more often because it didn't take long to get there. That was 2 years ago. I told Kevin that I wasn't going to do that anymore. A year of facing your own mortality will make a person stop planning and start doing. It was a fun trip, although far too short. We're already talking about what we'll do the next time we go.
I found the suspicious lump in January and had a biopsy in February. I was diagnosed in March and had surgery in April. I got back to work in June. I finished chemo on September 19th and finished radiation on November 14th. I have follow up appointments happening now, but that's about it until the exchange surgery, which will be late May or early June. I should be super excited that I'm completing treatment, and I am happy, but I'm constantly unsettled.
I think that treatment kept me occupied. I was doing something. I was actively fighting cancer. Somehow it isn't as easy as it should be to accept, "OK. You're all better. Go on with your regularly scheduled life now." Your brain doesn't work like that. I want to ask, "So that's it?" but then again, I don't want to ask that at all.
My hair is finally growing back. It's not as long as a crew cut yet, but it's moved from "fuzz" to "hair." LOL The gray is a lot easier to see right now, but that's what hair color is for. I'm just looking forward to the day that I have to "fix my hair" to go somewhere. Silly but true.
I know some people see a therapist after cancer treatment. I've never considered myself the type to see someone like that, but I see why some do. I'm not even saying that I won't. I just haven't decided yet. I'm fine most of the time, but not all the time. I know I'll never be the same as before, but I'd like to get past the anxiety issues that sneak up on me at inopportune times.
It makes me VERY thankful for my Facebook group of friends who have gone through this with me. We are small enough to have gotten to know each other, but big enough that someone is on pretty much 24/7. If I can't sleep and it's 2 am and I feel the need to chat, someone is there. Someone to listen to me whine, or laugh at my jokes, or commiserate about the state of our skin after radiation. So far, that's all the therapy I need.
Overall, I am fine. I have been cancer-free since surgery in April. The chemo and radiation were both "just in case." That is a lot of ammo to go through just because there "might be a burglar out there somewhere," but it's what was advised, so that's what I did. And I'm fine. 2012 is a year that I'll be glad to put behind me, but I got through it.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Radiation
Wow. I post that I got a new car, and then apparently drove off into the sunset in it, never to post to my blog again. Or maybe I've been back to working full time, doing radiation treatments, and getting my social life back. Boy, is it nice to accept dinner invitations again.
I started radiation on Monday. I have a standing appointment at 8am every weekday. On Monday, I left work too early because I didn't know how long it would take me to get there. 20 minutes is the most it takes, so I allow 30, in case there is traffic. Yup, I'm driving straight into Kansas City during rush hour. I haven't had any troubles, though. Plus, I have an amazing new car to drive!
I got there Monday and they had to do some Xrays. Because of this, I was there between 20 and 30 minutes. I guess I'll get a couple Xrays every Monday, but not sure if it will take as long as the first time did. On Wednesdays, I will always have an appointment with my radiation oncologist. I've found that I can leave work, go to the hospital, park the car, get to the radiation department, undress from the waist up, put on a gown, get radiation, change back into my clothes, and drive back to work....all in an hour. 40 minutes of that is driving!
Yes, it goes fast. Those ladies know what they're doing, and they're super efficient. It is a vulnerable feeling to be lying on that table in a big empty room while a machine shoots radiation into you, but there is no pain or discomfort of any kind involved. They position me, leave the room, the machine does it's thing, and they reposition me again...three times total.
Most of the folks that I know who have had skin reactions do so around 4 weeks in or later. I'm a week in right now. I've done 5/33 treatments. I have a ways to go. A lot of them have been told to use a certain lotion or some such to the area from a week before starting to the end of radiation therapy. I haven't been told to use anything. Most people are told not to use antiperspirant, although some are allowed to use the organic kind. I haven't been told either of these things.
My Wednesday appointment was a bit different because my Dr. was in a meeting that ran long. He asked another doctor to see me so I didn't have to wait. We were together about 90 seconds at most. I have a couple of questions for this week (about the lotion and antiperspirant, etc.) but it still shouldn't take long. I can't believe that the visits go that fast, but it makes it easier to keep up full time at work.
This Tuesday, I have an appointment with my medical oncologist as a follow-up to chemo. I hope she tells me that I can stop being a germaphobe. My father got sick at a MOST inopportune time, as I was just starting to feel like my old self! I'm sure I'll be fine, but I want her to tell me so. I do NOT want to wind up in the hospital again.
Wow, I get long winded when I wait a week to post. That's all that is going on in the wonderful world of cancer. I just keep moving forward. What else can I do? Move forward through treatment and move forward into our busy season at work. I know I'm still supposed to rest when possible and not overdo it, so I'm being careful. I'm just glad that, so far, I'm feeling a bit stronger each day.
I started radiation on Monday. I have a standing appointment at 8am every weekday. On Monday, I left work too early because I didn't know how long it would take me to get there. 20 minutes is the most it takes, so I allow 30, in case there is traffic. Yup, I'm driving straight into Kansas City during rush hour. I haven't had any troubles, though. Plus, I have an amazing new car to drive!
I got there Monday and they had to do some Xrays. Because of this, I was there between 20 and 30 minutes. I guess I'll get a couple Xrays every Monday, but not sure if it will take as long as the first time did. On Wednesdays, I will always have an appointment with my radiation oncologist. I've found that I can leave work, go to the hospital, park the car, get to the radiation department, undress from the waist up, put on a gown, get radiation, change back into my clothes, and drive back to work....all in an hour. 40 minutes of that is driving!
Yes, it goes fast. Those ladies know what they're doing, and they're super efficient. It is a vulnerable feeling to be lying on that table in a big empty room while a machine shoots radiation into you, but there is no pain or discomfort of any kind involved. They position me, leave the room, the machine does it's thing, and they reposition me again...three times total.
Most of the folks that I know who have had skin reactions do so around 4 weeks in or later. I'm a week in right now. I've done 5/33 treatments. I have a ways to go. A lot of them have been told to use a certain lotion or some such to the area from a week before starting to the end of radiation therapy. I haven't been told to use anything. Most people are told not to use antiperspirant, although some are allowed to use the organic kind. I haven't been told either of these things.
My Wednesday appointment was a bit different because my Dr. was in a meeting that ran long. He asked another doctor to see me so I didn't have to wait. We were together about 90 seconds at most. I have a couple of questions for this week (about the lotion and antiperspirant, etc.) but it still shouldn't take long. I can't believe that the visits go that fast, but it makes it easier to keep up full time at work.
This Tuesday, I have an appointment with my medical oncologist as a follow-up to chemo. I hope she tells me that I can stop being a germaphobe. My father got sick at a MOST inopportune time, as I was just starting to feel like my old self! I'm sure I'll be fine, but I want her to tell me so. I do NOT want to wind up in the hospital again.
Wow, I get long winded when I wait a week to post. That's all that is going on in the wonderful world of cancer. I just keep moving forward. What else can I do? Move forward through treatment and move forward into our busy season at work. I know I'm still supposed to rest when possible and not overdo it, so I'm being careful. I'm just glad that, so far, I'm feeling a bit stronger each day.
Monday, September 24, 2012
That's a "Yes" on Radiation
As I figured, I'll be receiving radiation. Kevin and I met with the radiology oncologist this afternoon to discuss things. He's a likable guy who is good at explaining things in an easy-to-understand way. The most common side effects are fatigue and a diminished appetite. I can handle fatigue, and my back side can handle a diminished appetite.
Of course, he had to tell me of some more serious possible side effects. They have to prepare you for anything, but I sure hate hearing those things. The percentage of a chance of those were quite small, though. I'll consider myself warned, but try not to think about them.
He actually had me go across the hall while we were there for a CT scan and tattoos. The tattoos are slightly larger than the period at the end of this sentence, and there are two of them. He'll now look over the scan, come up with a plan for me, and then the technician will call me to schedule it.
I've heard horror stories of people having to pay a co-pay with each daily visit (x38 visits...you do the math,) but that will not be the case with Saint Luke's. That was nice to hear. I will have to go to the plaza location for treatment, but that's not as big of a deal as those who live near me may think. That location is less than 7 miles from work, so I'll just do morning appointments and then go straight to work.
If I understand what my medical oncologist told me at my last visit, I'll have a month between the end of chemo and the time that radiation starts. That equals three glorious weeks of feeling normal. I'm really looking forward to some happy weekends. I miss going to mom and dad's to just sit and shoot the breeze. I miss getting outside and enjoying this perfect weather. I miss going to school functions. Yeah. I'm looking forward to a bit of normal, even if it's just a few weeks.
Today was excruciating, much like the weekend was, so I've taken some pain meds and plan to go to sleep early. If history holds true, I'll feel a bit better tomorrow, and the pain will be mostly gone by Wednesday, needing only an occasional Tylenol or Advil. After that, look out, world! I'm already conniving to get Kevin to take me to meet up with some friends after work on Friday for a drink. I am so excited to even be thinking about that!
Now, I have some nurses to email with questions. *sigh* I can't wait until cancer and treatment are not the only things I think of. LOL Oh, and staying awake until dark. That'd be a nice change of pace, too. :)
Of course, he had to tell me of some more serious possible side effects. They have to prepare you for anything, but I sure hate hearing those things. The percentage of a chance of those were quite small, though. I'll consider myself warned, but try not to think about them.
He actually had me go across the hall while we were there for a CT scan and tattoos. The tattoos are slightly larger than the period at the end of this sentence, and there are two of them. He'll now look over the scan, come up with a plan for me, and then the technician will call me to schedule it.
I've heard horror stories of people having to pay a co-pay with each daily visit (x38 visits...you do the math,) but that will not be the case with Saint Luke's. That was nice to hear. I will have to go to the plaza location for treatment, but that's not as big of a deal as those who live near me may think. That location is less than 7 miles from work, so I'll just do morning appointments and then go straight to work.
If I understand what my medical oncologist told me at my last visit, I'll have a month between the end of chemo and the time that radiation starts. That equals three glorious weeks of feeling normal. I'm really looking forward to some happy weekends. I miss going to mom and dad's to just sit and shoot the breeze. I miss getting outside and enjoying this perfect weather. I miss going to school functions. Yeah. I'm looking forward to a bit of normal, even if it's just a few weeks.
Today was excruciating, much like the weekend was, so I've taken some pain meds and plan to go to sleep early. If history holds true, I'll feel a bit better tomorrow, and the pain will be mostly gone by Wednesday, needing only an occasional Tylenol or Advil. After that, look out, world! I'm already conniving to get Kevin to take me to meet up with some friends after work on Friday for a drink. I am so excited to even be thinking about that!
Now, I have some nurses to email with questions. *sigh* I can't wait until cancer and treatment are not the only things I think of. LOL Oh, and staying awake until dark. That'd be a nice change of pace, too. :)
Monday, June 11, 2012
Ready or Not
I only made it until 3:00 again today. I get SO frustrated when I can't make it until 5:00. By the same token, if I'd quit pushing it and leave around noon or 1:00, I could maybe come home, rest a bit, and then get some more work done from here. As it is, I push as hard and as far as I can push and still safely drive the hour it takes me to get home, and by the time I get here, I can't move from the chair.
I did do dishes after an hour of rest, though. There weren't all that many, but Kevin's been doing them almost exclusively, and I couldn't stand the thought of him coming home and seeing them dirty. Too bad my kitchen is too small for a dishwasher. Oh well, it's a 10 minute task to wash a sink full of dishes. No biggie. If one of the girls had been here, guess what SHE would have been doing. LOL
Tomorrow is the day I have my first chemo treatment, if everything checks out with the oncologist. I have an appointment with her at 9:30, and if she's happy with what she finds, I go straight downstairs for the first treatment. They'll go half-speed the first time, watching closely for any bad reactions, so we'll be there for HOURS.
Kevin is going with me for the first treatment, just in case any of the aforementioned reactions happen, and after that I can go alone. If I feel like I want company for future treatments, Natalie can go with me, or Mom has offered if needed. I'm pretty good at entertaining myself with my trusty laptop, though, so we'll see. I'll just be so glad to get this first one out of the way. My PDAS kicks in full-blast when it's something I haven't done before.
I know what will happen and what to expect. I've researched, talked to others who have been through it, and researched some more. I haven't done it yet, though. After this time, I'll know what my new normal consists of. The unknown will be known, and we'll move on.
I did do dishes after an hour of rest, though. There weren't all that many, but Kevin's been doing them almost exclusively, and I couldn't stand the thought of him coming home and seeing them dirty. Too bad my kitchen is too small for a dishwasher. Oh well, it's a 10 minute task to wash a sink full of dishes. No biggie. If one of the girls had been here, guess what SHE would have been doing. LOL
Tomorrow is the day I have my first chemo treatment, if everything checks out with the oncologist. I have an appointment with her at 9:30, and if she's happy with what she finds, I go straight downstairs for the first treatment. They'll go half-speed the first time, watching closely for any bad reactions, so we'll be there for HOURS.
Kevin is going with me for the first treatment, just in case any of the aforementioned reactions happen, and after that I can go alone. If I feel like I want company for future treatments, Natalie can go with me, or Mom has offered if needed. I'm pretty good at entertaining myself with my trusty laptop, though, so we'll see. I'll just be so glad to get this first one out of the way. My PDAS kicks in full-blast when it's something I haven't done before.
I know what will happen and what to expect. I've researched, talked to others who have been through it, and researched some more. I haven't done it yet, though. After this time, I'll know what my new normal consists of. The unknown will be known, and we'll move on.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Puttin' on My Big Girl Panties
I was going to post last night. The appointment was fine. No bad news anywhere. However, I was the weepiest cry-baby I've been since this whole journey started. I cried about everything. I sent a message to Mom so she wouldn't wonder/worry and told her I'd post today. I don't like to post when I'm in a foul mood, unless I feel like conveying a foul mood in the post (which I sometimes do!)
Anyway, I worked for half a day (if I haven't mentioned it lately, I work with some cool people) and headed to the plastic surgeon's office. The plan was to get my first fill in the tissue expander. Because of how tight things were feeling, I was sure I'd have to go from there to get fluid removed because of the buildup. He checked me out and said it wasn't enough to concern ourselves with. YeeHaw!
That fact made me happier than I thought it would, because of a detail his nurse filled me in on. If I had needed that done, they wouldn't have been able to do the fill. So that all made me VERY grateful. They did the fill and sent me on my way. (By the way, the fill is a GIANT syringe full of saline and the whole process took less than 2 minutes. Easy peasy.)
If you remember, chemo had been scheduled, but they had to cancel when they found out I still had that pesky drain. Now that it's gone, I had to reschedule, which means a visit with the oncologist's office. That was a confusing mess that took over an hour, but it finally got scheduled. From that point on, I became a girl.
I HATE when I am girly and whiny, and I had a FULL evening of it. Everything that was said or done set me off. Poor Kevin. I think the problem is that, until this point, all appointments for procedures have been made, and then I'm informed about them. "Go to this hospital on this date and we're going to do a mastectomy." Oh. OK. "Go to this office and get your tissue expander fill on this date." Oh, OK.
Yesterday, I had to play phone tag and wrestle for a date to see the oncologist, and if she pronounces that all is healed well, I go immediately downstairs for my first chemo treatment. This will be June 12, for those keeping score. I was told to plan on it taking most of the day due to the doctor's appointment first, and the fact that they do your first infusion slowly to watch for any problems.
So, I had make the appointment, chemo is back on the calendar again, and this all made things more real again for some reason. I think getting back to work made me start to feel a little bit more normal. Once the drain was gone, I could get really busy on a project and my brain wasn't constantly thinking CANCER in every train of thought. In fact, I felt the best, physically, yesterday that I've felt since surgery! I was cutting up with friends and having a GREAT morning. Suddenly, last night, the big "C" was back.
So I bawled a lot. Made my husband miserable, too (because he can't fix it.) I woke up this morning to a beautiful day, made some coffee, and read something online that made me tear up. At this point I'd had it with me. Kevin is on the way to Carthage to pick Monica up and Natalie is still in bed, so I'm upstairs alone. This afforded me the opportunity to talk to myself out loud and not be sent to the loony bin.
I lectured myself for a good 5 minutes. "Listen, you big baby! Everyone deserves to go on a pity party sometimes, and everyone deserves to cry. You had that chance. You cried all evening yesterday. You cried about big stuff like cancer and you cried about little stuff like a favorite show being a rerun. You cried and cried and today, you're DONE. Put on your big girl panties, go enjoy this perfect weather, and quit your sniveling.
Call Tammy and take her out to lunch. Take Natalie shopping for a new swimsuit like you promised a week ago. Quit playing victim. Quit acting like cancer has you down, when right this moment, you aren't even undergoing TREATMENT! If you LET yourself, you can feel AWESOME today. Now have some coffee, get dressed, get out of the house and quit feeling sorry for yourself, you big baby."
I suggest that, if you ever act like I was acting, you don't do so around me. I can give some harsh lectures. Right this moment, I'm going to go get dressed and follow my advice. I'm afraid that, if I don't listen to me, I might get mad at me and do something more drastic. :)
Here's to a happy day!
Anyway, I worked for half a day (if I haven't mentioned it lately, I work with some cool people) and headed to the plastic surgeon's office. The plan was to get my first fill in the tissue expander. Because of how tight things were feeling, I was sure I'd have to go from there to get fluid removed because of the buildup. He checked me out and said it wasn't enough to concern ourselves with. YeeHaw!
That fact made me happier than I thought it would, because of a detail his nurse filled me in on. If I had needed that done, they wouldn't have been able to do the fill. So that all made me VERY grateful. They did the fill and sent me on my way. (By the way, the fill is a GIANT syringe full of saline and the whole process took less than 2 minutes. Easy peasy.)
If you remember, chemo had been scheduled, but they had to cancel when they found out I still had that pesky drain. Now that it's gone, I had to reschedule, which means a visit with the oncologist's office. That was a confusing mess that took over an hour, but it finally got scheduled. From that point on, I became a girl.
I HATE when I am girly and whiny, and I had a FULL evening of it. Everything that was said or done set me off. Poor Kevin. I think the problem is that, until this point, all appointments for procedures have been made, and then I'm informed about them. "Go to this hospital on this date and we're going to do a mastectomy." Oh. OK. "Go to this office and get your tissue expander fill on this date." Oh, OK.
Yesterday, I had to play phone tag and wrestle for a date to see the oncologist, and if she pronounces that all is healed well, I go immediately downstairs for my first chemo treatment. This will be June 12, for those keeping score. I was told to plan on it taking most of the day due to the doctor's appointment first, and the fact that they do your first infusion slowly to watch for any problems.
So, I had make the appointment, chemo is back on the calendar again, and this all made things more real again for some reason. I think getting back to work made me start to feel a little bit more normal. Once the drain was gone, I could get really busy on a project and my brain wasn't constantly thinking CANCER in every train of thought. In fact, I felt the best, physically, yesterday that I've felt since surgery! I was cutting up with friends and having a GREAT morning. Suddenly, last night, the big "C" was back.
So I bawled a lot. Made my husband miserable, too (because he can't fix it.) I woke up this morning to a beautiful day, made some coffee, and read something online that made me tear up. At this point I'd had it with me. Kevin is on the way to Carthage to pick Monica up and Natalie is still in bed, so I'm upstairs alone. This afforded me the opportunity to talk to myself out loud and not be sent to the loony bin.
I lectured myself for a good 5 minutes. "Listen, you big baby! Everyone deserves to go on a pity party sometimes, and everyone deserves to cry. You had that chance. You cried all evening yesterday. You cried about big stuff like cancer and you cried about little stuff like a favorite show being a rerun. You cried and cried and today, you're DONE. Put on your big girl panties, go enjoy this perfect weather, and quit your sniveling.
Call Tammy and take her out to lunch. Take Natalie shopping for a new swimsuit like you promised a week ago. Quit playing victim. Quit acting like cancer has you down, when right this moment, you aren't even undergoing TREATMENT! If you LET yourself, you can feel AWESOME today. Now have some coffee, get dressed, get out of the house and quit feeling sorry for yourself, you big baby."
I suggest that, if you ever act like I was acting, you don't do so around me. I can give some harsh lectures. Right this moment, I'm going to go get dressed and follow my advice. I'm afraid that, if I don't listen to me, I might get mad at me and do something more drastic. :)
Here's to a happy day!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Chemo has been Scheduled
So yesterday, I just sat here. Yup. That's pretty much what I did. I let the HVAC guy in to fix our a/c, and then I wrote a check to him. I changed the channel several times, took medication and logged drain output. Quite possibly the laziest day I've participated in for a LONG time. If that's what it takes to get better fast, I'm going to have to heal slowly. Jeez, what a long day.
I'll avoid running errands that aren't necessary (we'll leave those up to Kevin,) but I'm not going to sit in this chair 24/7, THAT'S for sure. Today, I think I'll walk up to the post office. All the way up town, by myself. (Those who know this town will get the joke. We're talking 4 blocks.)
I got a call from someone yesterday (I cannot keep track of what nurse is from what office anymore) but she was somehow affiliated with the oncologist. I am to go in at 10:15 on May 22. I'll have a meeting with the oncologist and then have my first chemo treatment. I'm supposed to plan on being there for many hours, especially for the first visit. Maybe as many as six!
The problem that I see (and it may not be a problem, but I'll be asking) is that I expect Jaxson to still be hanging around then. I still have not dropped under 100cc in a 24 hour period, and it's got to get under 30. If you aren't familiar with Jaxson, go to this post and read the last paragraph. I didn't think to ask yesterday, but I have an email in to my favorite nurse/source of information to see what to do about it. Maybe Jaxson will just go along for the ride. LOL He's always enjoyed a good road trip.
I slept in my own bed last night, and I believe I slept better than I have in three weeks. Can you believe it's been three weeks? I may try to make the transition back into there now. This poor recliner deserves a break. :)
I'll avoid running errands that aren't necessary (we'll leave those up to Kevin,) but I'm not going to sit in this chair 24/7, THAT'S for sure. Today, I think I'll walk up to the post office. All the way up town, by myself. (Those who know this town will get the joke. We're talking 4 blocks.)
I got a call from someone yesterday (I cannot keep track of what nurse is from what office anymore) but she was somehow affiliated with the oncologist. I am to go in at 10:15 on May 22. I'll have a meeting with the oncologist and then have my first chemo treatment. I'm supposed to plan on being there for many hours, especially for the first visit. Maybe as many as six!
The problem that I see (and it may not be a problem, but I'll be asking) is that I expect Jaxson to still be hanging around then. I still have not dropped under 100cc in a 24 hour period, and it's got to get under 30. If you aren't familiar with Jaxson, go to this post and read the last paragraph. I didn't think to ask yesterday, but I have an email in to my favorite nurse/source of information to see what to do about it. Maybe Jaxson will just go along for the ride. LOL He's always enjoyed a good road trip.
I slept in my own bed last night, and I believe I slept better than I have in three weeks. Can you believe it's been three weeks? I may try to make the transition back into there now. This poor recliner deserves a break. :)
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Ups and Downs and a Lot of Love
The amount of love my family and I have felt throughout all of this cancer nonsense is amazing. From comments on here and on Facebook, to prayers being offered up from literally all over the country, to straight up cash. My BFF Tammy had a garage sale today, taking donations on my behalf, and gave Kevin a chunk of the proceeds when he stopped by earlier this afternoon. Before he got home, she called to let him know there was nearly $100 more.
What a blessing this is. I have already wracked up more than 500 miles in visits to various doctors and many of the items I need for my post-op care are not covered on my Flex spending card through work (because they don't require a prescription) and the little things add up fast. I am blown away that Tammy and Greg would go to all of this work, and that people who do not know me would donate items for us. I don't know what to say.
I tried to cut down to one pain pill for a couple of doses, and have regretted it each time. I figured the Valium was the most important, since most of the pain is a result of the stretching muscle from the tissue expander. However, those times where I've cut the pain meds in half have left me in tears. We'll give it the rest of the weekend before we do THAT again.
Kevin's mom is here and helping a great deal. She takes some worries and chores off me AND Kevin. It's nice to have another resource. I think she's headed home tomorrow, and Kevin is heading back to work on Monday. That gives me today and tomorrow to figure out what I can and cannot do by myself.
I was hoping to be able to shower alone, but there are some things that need done around the drain tubes that I cannot reach (sorry for the TMI) so I'll be waiting for him to come home. If I get very desperate for a shower, I'll call and ask Mom to come. I've pretty much lost all modesty over the past few days.
Got a question? I'll answer. Wanna see a picture of something? I'll email you. I'm not even kidding. I've shown a few. It's pretty amazing stuff, really. Gross to think about, but amazing as far as how things work. I cannot WAIT to gain my independence back, but I may as well educate folks about cancer treatment in the mean time, right?
LOL Can you tell I'm feeling good right now? That was a long entry!
What a blessing this is. I have already wracked up more than 500 miles in visits to various doctors and many of the items I need for my post-op care are not covered on my Flex spending card through work (because they don't require a prescription) and the little things add up fast. I am blown away that Tammy and Greg would go to all of this work, and that people who do not know me would donate items for us. I don't know what to say.
I tried to cut down to one pain pill for a couple of doses, and have regretted it each time. I figured the Valium was the most important, since most of the pain is a result of the stretching muscle from the tissue expander. However, those times where I've cut the pain meds in half have left me in tears. We'll give it the rest of the weekend before we do THAT again.
Kevin's mom is here and helping a great deal. She takes some worries and chores off me AND Kevin. It's nice to have another resource. I think she's headed home tomorrow, and Kevin is heading back to work on Monday. That gives me today and tomorrow to figure out what I can and cannot do by myself.
I was hoping to be able to shower alone, but there are some things that need done around the drain tubes that I cannot reach (sorry for the TMI) so I'll be waiting for him to come home. If I get very desperate for a shower, I'll call and ask Mom to come. I've pretty much lost all modesty over the past few days.
Got a question? I'll answer. Wanna see a picture of something? I'll email you. I'm not even kidding. I've shown a few. It's pretty amazing stuff, really. Gross to think about, but amazing as far as how things work. I cannot WAIT to gain my independence back, but I may as well educate folks about cancer treatment in the mean time, right?
LOL Can you tell I'm feeling good right now? That was a long entry!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Please Excuse Me. I have PDAS.
I know about PMS. This feels a lot like that, but it's not the right time. Sorry, guys. I should have warned you about THAT, but I didn't. Too late.
I had a freak-out sort of day. Last night and today have been tough, and now that I'm seeing a pattern, tomorrow will be rough, too. My Modus Operandi is to freak the HELL out before an appointment, and then be fine as soon as it's over. Whether the news is good or bad, it's news. I need information. Waiting sucks. It is Pre Doctor Appointment Syndrome. I suffer it greatly.
Tomorrow is my oncologist appointment. I will find out what medication will be involved to help me kick this thing's ass. I find out if I'll lose my hair. I find out if I'll be too exhausted to work at the level that I want to during this thing. It doesn't matter. Tell me I'll kick it's butt, and I'll do what you say. It's just the unknown that is killing me. It did last week, too.
So, I suffer from PDAS. I'll be about to pass out on the way into the Dr's office, and fine when I walk out. Just like last week. Now that I can name it and recognize it, I plan to laugh at the tears. Laugh at the shaking hands. Laugh at the stupid reactions I seem to have to certain things. We're out of rice? WAHHHH! LOL
Sorry. You can't judge me right now. I have PDAS.
I had a freak-out sort of day. Last night and today have been tough, and now that I'm seeing a pattern, tomorrow will be rough, too. My Modus Operandi is to freak the HELL out before an appointment, and then be fine as soon as it's over. Whether the news is good or bad, it's news. I need information. Waiting sucks. It is Pre Doctor Appointment Syndrome. I suffer it greatly.
Tomorrow is my oncologist appointment. I will find out what medication will be involved to help me kick this thing's ass. I find out if I'll lose my hair. I find out if I'll be too exhausted to work at the level that I want to during this thing. It doesn't matter. Tell me I'll kick it's butt, and I'll do what you say. It's just the unknown that is killing me. It did last week, too.
So, I suffer from PDAS. I'll be about to pass out on the way into the Dr's office, and fine when I walk out. Just like last week. Now that I can name it and recognize it, I plan to laugh at the tears. Laugh at the shaking hands. Laugh at the stupid reactions I seem to have to certain things. We're out of rice? WAHHHH! LOL
Sorry. You can't judge me right now. I have PDAS.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)