Wow. I haven't posted for a long time. You're welcome. Busy season at work and changing back to my regular hours has found me pretty dang tired by the time I get home. Too tired to type? OK, that sounds pretty lame, but I honestly get home and do next to nothing.
Last weekend, I decided I wanted to go to St. Louis to see my aunt Charlene and her husband Pat. The last time we were there, we said we'd do it more often because it didn't take long to get there. That was 2 years ago. I told Kevin that I wasn't going to do that anymore. A year of facing your own mortality will make a person stop planning and start doing. It was a fun trip, although far too short. We're already talking about what we'll do the next time we go.
I found the suspicious lump in January and had a biopsy in February. I was diagnosed in March and had surgery in April. I got back to work in June. I finished chemo on September 19th and finished radiation on November 14th. I have follow up appointments happening now, but that's about it until the exchange surgery, which will be late May or early June. I should be super excited that I'm completing treatment, and I am happy, but I'm constantly unsettled.
I think that treatment kept me occupied. I was doing something. I was actively fighting cancer. Somehow it isn't as easy as it should be to accept, "OK. You're all better. Go on with your regularly scheduled life now." Your brain doesn't work like that. I want to ask, "So that's it?" but then again, I don't want to ask that at all.
My hair is finally growing back. It's not as long as a crew cut yet, but it's moved from "fuzz" to "hair." LOL The gray is a lot easier to see right now, but that's what hair color is for. I'm just looking forward to the day that I have to "fix my hair" to go somewhere. Silly but true.
I know some people see a therapist after cancer treatment. I've never considered myself the type to see someone like that, but I see why some do. I'm not even saying that I won't. I just haven't decided yet. I'm fine most of the time, but not all the time. I know I'll never be the same as before, but I'd like to get past the anxiety issues that sneak up on me at inopportune times.
It makes me VERY thankful for my Facebook group of friends who have gone through this with me. We are small enough to have gotten to know each other, but big enough that someone is on pretty much 24/7. If I can't sleep and it's 2 am and I feel the need to chat, someone is there. Someone to listen to me whine, or laugh at my jokes, or commiserate about the state of our skin after radiation. So far, that's all the therapy I need.
Overall, I am fine. I have been cancer-free since surgery in April. The chemo and radiation were both "just in case." That is a lot of ammo to go through just because there "might be a burglar out there somewhere," but it's what was advised, so that's what I did. And I'm fine. 2012 is a year that I'll be glad to put behind me, but I got through it.
Showing posts with label busy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label busy. Show all posts
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
What a Craptastic Day
Damn. If there is truly something to the Monday curse, I found it today. Everything I touched turned to crap. Some of it was my fault, and some was just plain bad luck, wrong place-wrong time, or the mistake of someone else.
Natalie asked my dad if he'd take her to get her permit today. He said he would, which took a load off us, and I made arrangements for the school to allow her to check out after first hour. At that point, I waited to hear if she passed or not. The next thing I know, she's trying to call me, but I was on my work phone.
The short version is that they got to the next town over for the test, and were told they needed her birth certificate. DUH! I knew that. Well, I knew it two years ago, when Monica got hers. I completely forgot to make sure she had the documents she needed. I told her where she could find it, but she had NO idea what she was looking for, and wound up taking the hospital one, instead of the official one.
They found this out when they got to the next town over for the second time, and they still wouldn't let her take the test. By this time, my dad is probably quite hacked off (and rightfully so) and Natalie is in tears. Later, I found out that she also needs a bill or something to prove residency. Remember, all of this is just a PART of the horrible Monday.
I got to radiation, and they got me back there right away. Monday is Xray day, so I knew it would take a bit longer than other days. No biggie. When I lie down on that table, I am on my back, and I have to put my left arm behind my head, hanging onto this handle thing. I must lie VERY still. They reposition me the way they need me by pulling the sheet that I'm on, pushing me over, moving the table, etc. I am NOT to "help" them move me in any way. They even say, "Lay heavy" quite often. It usually takes a couple of minutes to get me where they want me. No biggie.
Today, it took them at LEAST 15 minutes to get me positioned properly, and they still didn't seem pleased with how things were going. They kept moving me, moving the table, reading numbers to each other, moving me again, etc. Finally, they took the Xrays, and then they moved me a bit more. Finally, they did the radiation treatment. I was lying perfectly still for 30 minutes instead of the typical 10. When they announced I was done, my arm was dead weight. Sound asleep. So asleep that I had trouble getting dressed.
It woke up on the way back to work. It woke up with an excruciating amount of pain. My shoulder actually still hurts, but the rest of my arm is finally better. They told me that they made a 5mm adjustment, and would take a couple more Xrays tomorrow, but that it is all normal and that is why they take them every week. Umm, OK. 5mm seems like a LOT of adjustment for shooting radiation into my body, near my internal organs, but I'll trust the medical professionals.
Work didn't really go much better. I know how to handle busy season, but I was filling in for someone else who was sick, plus trying to do my stuff, plus cleaning up several messes. I got it done, but it sure made me crabby. Those around me were having a similar day, so we all just did our best and powered through. Tomorrow will be better. I'm sure of it, and I plan to take that attitude in with me.
Now, if Natalie and my dad forgive me, I'm past the most bothersome part of my day. The rest is just stuff.
Natalie asked my dad if he'd take her to get her permit today. He said he would, which took a load off us, and I made arrangements for the school to allow her to check out after first hour. At that point, I waited to hear if she passed or not. The next thing I know, she's trying to call me, but I was on my work phone.
The short version is that they got to the next town over for the test, and were told they needed her birth certificate. DUH! I knew that. Well, I knew it two years ago, when Monica got hers. I completely forgot to make sure she had the documents she needed. I told her where she could find it, but she had NO idea what she was looking for, and wound up taking the hospital one, instead of the official one.
They found this out when they got to the next town over for the second time, and they still wouldn't let her take the test. By this time, my dad is probably quite hacked off (and rightfully so) and Natalie is in tears. Later, I found out that she also needs a bill or something to prove residency. Remember, all of this is just a PART of the horrible Monday.
I got to radiation, and they got me back there right away. Monday is Xray day, so I knew it would take a bit longer than other days. No biggie. When I lie down on that table, I am on my back, and I have to put my left arm behind my head, hanging onto this handle thing. I must lie VERY still. They reposition me the way they need me by pulling the sheet that I'm on, pushing me over, moving the table, etc. I am NOT to "help" them move me in any way. They even say, "Lay heavy" quite often. It usually takes a couple of minutes to get me where they want me. No biggie.
Today, it took them at LEAST 15 minutes to get me positioned properly, and they still didn't seem pleased with how things were going. They kept moving me, moving the table, reading numbers to each other, moving me again, etc. Finally, they took the Xrays, and then they moved me a bit more. Finally, they did the radiation treatment. I was lying perfectly still for 30 minutes instead of the typical 10. When they announced I was done, my arm was dead weight. Sound asleep. So asleep that I had trouble getting dressed.
It woke up on the way back to work. It woke up with an excruciating amount of pain. My shoulder actually still hurts, but the rest of my arm is finally better. They told me that they made a 5mm adjustment, and would take a couple more Xrays tomorrow, but that it is all normal and that is why they take them every week. Umm, OK. 5mm seems like a LOT of adjustment for shooting radiation into my body, near my internal organs, but I'll trust the medical professionals.
Work didn't really go much better. I know how to handle busy season, but I was filling in for someone else who was sick, plus trying to do my stuff, plus cleaning up several messes. I got it done, but it sure made me crabby. Those around me were having a similar day, so we all just did our best and powered through. Tomorrow will be better. I'm sure of it, and I plan to take that attitude in with me.
Now, if Natalie and my dad forgive me, I'm past the most bothersome part of my day. The rest is just stuff.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Radiation
Wow. I post that I got a new car, and then apparently drove off into the sunset in it, never to post to my blog again. Or maybe I've been back to working full time, doing radiation treatments, and getting my social life back. Boy, is it nice to accept dinner invitations again.
I started radiation on Monday. I have a standing appointment at 8am every weekday. On Monday, I left work too early because I didn't know how long it would take me to get there. 20 minutes is the most it takes, so I allow 30, in case there is traffic. Yup, I'm driving straight into Kansas City during rush hour. I haven't had any troubles, though. Plus, I have an amazing new car to drive!
I got there Monday and they had to do some Xrays. Because of this, I was there between 20 and 30 minutes. I guess I'll get a couple Xrays every Monday, but not sure if it will take as long as the first time did. On Wednesdays, I will always have an appointment with my radiation oncologist. I've found that I can leave work, go to the hospital, park the car, get to the radiation department, undress from the waist up, put on a gown, get radiation, change back into my clothes, and drive back to work....all in an hour. 40 minutes of that is driving!
Yes, it goes fast. Those ladies know what they're doing, and they're super efficient. It is a vulnerable feeling to be lying on that table in a big empty room while a machine shoots radiation into you, but there is no pain or discomfort of any kind involved. They position me, leave the room, the machine does it's thing, and they reposition me again...three times total.
Most of the folks that I know who have had skin reactions do so around 4 weeks in or later. I'm a week in right now. I've done 5/33 treatments. I have a ways to go. A lot of them have been told to use a certain lotion or some such to the area from a week before starting to the end of radiation therapy. I haven't been told to use anything. Most people are told not to use antiperspirant, although some are allowed to use the organic kind. I haven't been told either of these things.
My Wednesday appointment was a bit different because my Dr. was in a meeting that ran long. He asked another doctor to see me so I didn't have to wait. We were together about 90 seconds at most. I have a couple of questions for this week (about the lotion and antiperspirant, etc.) but it still shouldn't take long. I can't believe that the visits go that fast, but it makes it easier to keep up full time at work.
This Tuesday, I have an appointment with my medical oncologist as a follow-up to chemo. I hope she tells me that I can stop being a germaphobe. My father got sick at a MOST inopportune time, as I was just starting to feel like my old self! I'm sure I'll be fine, but I want her to tell me so. I do NOT want to wind up in the hospital again.
Wow, I get long winded when I wait a week to post. That's all that is going on in the wonderful world of cancer. I just keep moving forward. What else can I do? Move forward through treatment and move forward into our busy season at work. I know I'm still supposed to rest when possible and not overdo it, so I'm being careful. I'm just glad that, so far, I'm feeling a bit stronger each day.
I started radiation on Monday. I have a standing appointment at 8am every weekday. On Monday, I left work too early because I didn't know how long it would take me to get there. 20 minutes is the most it takes, so I allow 30, in case there is traffic. Yup, I'm driving straight into Kansas City during rush hour. I haven't had any troubles, though. Plus, I have an amazing new car to drive!
I got there Monday and they had to do some Xrays. Because of this, I was there between 20 and 30 minutes. I guess I'll get a couple Xrays every Monday, but not sure if it will take as long as the first time did. On Wednesdays, I will always have an appointment with my radiation oncologist. I've found that I can leave work, go to the hospital, park the car, get to the radiation department, undress from the waist up, put on a gown, get radiation, change back into my clothes, and drive back to work....all in an hour. 40 minutes of that is driving!
Yes, it goes fast. Those ladies know what they're doing, and they're super efficient. It is a vulnerable feeling to be lying on that table in a big empty room while a machine shoots radiation into you, but there is no pain or discomfort of any kind involved. They position me, leave the room, the machine does it's thing, and they reposition me again...three times total.
Most of the folks that I know who have had skin reactions do so around 4 weeks in or later. I'm a week in right now. I've done 5/33 treatments. I have a ways to go. A lot of them have been told to use a certain lotion or some such to the area from a week before starting to the end of radiation therapy. I haven't been told to use anything. Most people are told not to use antiperspirant, although some are allowed to use the organic kind. I haven't been told either of these things.
My Wednesday appointment was a bit different because my Dr. was in a meeting that ran long. He asked another doctor to see me so I didn't have to wait. We were together about 90 seconds at most. I have a couple of questions for this week (about the lotion and antiperspirant, etc.) but it still shouldn't take long. I can't believe that the visits go that fast, but it makes it easier to keep up full time at work.
This Tuesday, I have an appointment with my medical oncologist as a follow-up to chemo. I hope she tells me that I can stop being a germaphobe. My father got sick at a MOST inopportune time, as I was just starting to feel like my old self! I'm sure I'll be fine, but I want her to tell me so. I do NOT want to wind up in the hospital again.
Wow, I get long winded when I wait a week to post. That's all that is going on in the wonderful world of cancer. I just keep moving forward. What else can I do? Move forward through treatment and move forward into our busy season at work. I know I'm still supposed to rest when possible and not overdo it, so I'm being careful. I'm just glad that, so far, I'm feeling a bit stronger each day.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Taco Bell
It's been insane at work, for both myself AND Kevin. I managed to get off a bit early since he was working late, so I hit the Taco Bell drive thru for dinner. Sheesh. It was over 10 minutes between ordering and getting my food, but I got it, and headed home.
It was only a sack full of tacos and burritos, but it was SO good. What is it about Taco Bell? Everything there is the same, with different outer shells. It all tastes the same. However, it was WONDERFUL!
What am I, 12?
It was only a sack full of tacos and burritos, but it was SO good. What is it about Taco Bell? Everything there is the same, with different outer shells. It all tastes the same. However, it was WONDERFUL!
What am I, 12?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)