I know about PMS. This feels a lot like that, but it's not the right time. Sorry, guys. I should have warned you about THAT, but I didn't. Too late.
I had a freak-out sort of day. Last night and today have been tough, and now that I'm seeing a pattern, tomorrow will be rough, too. My Modus Operandi is to freak the HELL out before an appointment, and then be fine as soon as it's over. Whether the news is good or bad, it's news. I need information. Waiting sucks. It is Pre Doctor Appointment Syndrome. I suffer it greatly.
Tomorrow is my oncologist appointment. I will find out what medication will be involved to help me kick this thing's ass. I find out if I'll lose my hair. I find out if I'll be too exhausted to work at the level that I want to during this thing. It doesn't matter. Tell me I'll kick it's butt, and I'll do what you say. It's just the unknown that is killing me. It did last week, too.
So, I suffer from PDAS. I'll be about to pass out on the way into the Dr's office, and fine when I walk out. Just like last week. Now that I can name it and recognize it, I plan to laugh at the tears. Laugh at the shaking hands. Laugh at the stupid reactions I seem to have to certain things. We're out of rice? WAHHHH! LOL
Sorry. You can't judge me right now. I have PDAS.