Thursday, March 29, 2012

Quit With the Puppy Eyes, OK?

I understand that I have cancer, and that most people don't know what to say or do.  I didn't want to post this article, because it might make it sound like I want you to come clean my house.  I do NOT (yet) want you to come clean my house.  I do, however, appreciate many of the thoughts expressed.

I know that some people freak out and cry forever about a cancer diagnosis.  I know that everyone reacts differently and none of those reactions are wrong.  Let me clear the air.  I am dealing with this one day at a time, and laughing all the way.  You need me to help with that big order?  Sorry.  I can't.  I have cancer.  (insert big laugh here.)

I've been patient, and will continue to be so.  However, if you read this, that means you give a shit about me, so here goes:

Please, under NO circumstances, should you look at me, cock your head to the side like a sad puppy, and ask, "How ya doin', Rachel?"  How am I doing?  I have cancer.  I'm  not undergoing treatment right now, so I feel the same as I did 6 months ago.  Physically, I'm fine.  Emotionally?  I have very close friends and family to keep it pulled together.

I had a friend/coworker suggest that I develop tourettes when someone does this.  "SHIT DAMN ELBOW BUTT CANCER REFRIGERATOR ASS NO!"  I'm not sure that's the right reaction, but it made me laugh.

If you see me crying, an offer of comfort will be welcomed.  If I'm working along at my desk, let's just carry on, OK?  You won't see me crying at my desk, however, unless someone does the puppy  head-cock at me. THAT makes me cry.  The cancer doesn't.  Not yet, anyway.  I don't want it to win.  Right now, I'm making inappropriate jokes and waiting for the next Dr's appointment.

Can we move on?  I'll let you know when I need something.  I promise.


Anonymous said...

We'll get through this. Honest.


Adirondackcountrygal said...

I know how you feel. After a while you are going to get tired of hearing about how brave and courageous you are etc.. that is crap. You deal with it.. you don't have a choice.
My motto is Breast cancer isn't all about pink ribbons and pretty things.
Its not... cancer sucks! I know people don't know how to react sometimes. Maybe that is what causes the puppy dog eyes.. LOL Hang in there!

Donna said...

I'm telling everybody that you'll be fine, that it isn't the worst news we could have gotten, and we are not worrying (much). Seriously, I believe you'll live a long life. This is just a little bump in the road. My mom had cancer the year I graduated (1962) and you KNOW how long she lived after that.

Amy said...

Well, then....can YOU come clean MY house?

Forty Pound Sack said...

People will say all kinds of really, really dumb things. They mean well, but...yeah.

small farm girl said...

Yea, ok. So can you come clean my house? I have fat.

Sonya said...

Yeah I guess it is difficult on the conversation on both ends. Everyone wants you to know they care and I guess the only way to really do that is ask "how ya doing" with head cocked to the side. lol To not say anything after a few days seems cold. So it's hard to know. I care. And you can't see if my head is sideways or not. lol But I'm here! Laughed at the tourretes thing. lol I obviously can't spell it as there are red squiggly lines under it on my end. Oh well.

Drea said...

I agree with Sonya. Even the friends who know and love you don't always know what to say. Heck, we all say "how are you doing?" to friends who DON'T have cancer! So now we have to wonder if when we say it, it will be misconstrued. It's an awkward kind of dance, this stupid cancer stuff. :p

I'm keeping you in my thoughts, Rachel. Not in the head-cock kinda way, but sending you strength and positive thoughts. And yeah, humor too! Heck, that's how we met, right? I always picture you laughing. :)

Love ya, lady!

Lois Alberts said...

This is great advice Rachel. You are so right that we never really know what to say or do for a friend facing cancer. But advice from someone who is going through it is great!