Back to Work

I went back to work today.  I'm nearly dead.  Due to the "near death" status, this shall be a short post:

I have been napping daily, including yesterday.  Therefore, I couldn't fall asleep until after midnight.  Therefore I worked nearly a full day at work, for the first time in over 6 weeks, with only 5 hours of sleep.  That won't happen again.  I came home, exhausted, and refused to let myself nap.  I'll be going to sleep soon.  LOL   And I'll sleep well.

Jaxson played nice and only offered up 25cc, despite the fact that I stripped the drain several times to make sure nothing was slowing it down, other than healing.  Terri said that, if he's under 30cc again in the morning, I can get him pulled tomorrow afternoon.

I'm tired and must go to sleep soon.  Please cross fingers that this JERK drain leaves tomorrow.  I wanna blow him up with one of those TNT plunger things that Wile E. Coyote uses.  Yup.  That's where I've gone now.  It's completely out of control.  I've gone to the crazy place.

Jaxson Update and a Long Weekend

I have to report to the nurse (Terri...we love her) every week or so with the amounts that Jaxson is producing.  If there was some big change, I would have reported in more frequently, but we hovered around 50cc for three weeks.  Seriously, it became so predictable and SO depressing.  I usually sent this info via email.  

I had to call her to get a refill on my antibiotics last Wednesday, so she said, "I know you emailed, but give me your numbers again."  I reported the 50cc per day that it ALWAYS is.  I also mentioned that it had been five weeks, and they said the record for that office was seven weeks.  She said, "Yeah, it's been long enough I'd like for you to come in.  At lease let us check for infection, etc.  How about Friday?"

I went in Friday and the Doctor came in and checked me over and expressed that he wasn't happy with the fact that the drain had been in so long (infection can set in, or the drain itself can cause drainage to continue,) but taking it out too soon can cause the fluid to pool under the skin and require aspiration with a needle every day or two, which, obviously, would be a hassle, so it's a balancing act.  They have determined that the magic number is 30cc.  At 30cc, it is believed that your body can reabsorb the lymphatic fluid, which is why they try SO hard to get it down to 30cc or less, two days in a row.

Back to the doctor's visit:  He talked it out with Terri, checking me over while I was in various positions to see if there was fluid buildup under the skin, even with the drain.  He determined there was not.  He stripped the tube, and it immediately filled again.  I knew it would, because it does every time I strip it, but he looked at Terri and asked, "Did you see that?"  Then he told me that if the drainage was slowing down, it should stay empty for a while after being stripped.

The decision was made to try a different and tighter compression.  They think that will make me heal more quickly (by holding the parts together that need to heal together,) and therefore not produce so much more fluid than my body can handle.  The way they are having me do this is to roll up some Kerlix (very soft gauze) into a roll about 2" or so in diameter and put it in my arm pit on the surgical side.  Then, a 6" ACE bandage is wrapped around me tightly, and as high as it can be and still be under my arms.  It is tighter than the previous wrap, too.  

The next morning showed a 24 output of 80cc.  WHAT???  That's MORE!  I calmed down when I realized that the Dr. had messed with me a LOT, the drain had been stripped more than usual, etc.  Breathe in, breathe out, calm down.  I only empty once per day now, first thing in the morning, so I can officially report that Saturday and Sunday's output (based on Sunday and Monday morning's measurements) have been 40cc.  

I haven't reached the magic number 30 yet, but there is a decrease for the first time in three and a half weeks.  That is encouraging.  I am to call Terri tomorrow and report these amounts.  She'll talk to the doc and they'll decide what to do.  I need to have 30cc or less, two days in a row.  

I'm just hoping and praying that tomorrow morning's number is 30.  If so, then maybe they'll help me start my divorce proceedings from Jaxson.  I'm all done with having him in my life.  LOL  Especially since I'm returning to work tomorrow.  What a hassle it's going to be to have him with me.  I wonder if I should dress him in a little outfit?  Thanks for that suggestion, Shannon.  Now I can't picture him any other way.  Sheesh.  

NO, coworkers.  He will NOT be dressed.  In fact, he hides under MY clothing, so you will not even get to meet him.  It's for the best.  He'll hopefully be out of my life soon, and it's best if you don't get attached.  LOL  Get it?  Attached?  Never mind.  I'm just ready for him to be UN attached from me.

Now that this post has become WAY too long, I shall not rehash my Memorial Day weekend in detail.  Here are the Cliffs Notes:  Kevin's BFF Brian and his son Ty came up, I met a cool new family, we grilled, we ate, we saw my parents and my cousin, and, ummm, oh yeah, cut all my hair off.  If you aren't on Facebook, I'll post about that in my next post.  Both people who started reading this post are now sleeping.  Shh.  Don't WAKE them!

Attitude Adjustment and the Breakfast of Champions

I have not been posting much lately because I have had an attitude problem for the past several days.  Time to get over it.  A crappy attitude is NOT going to fix anything.  I think I'm done pouting now, and ready to move on.  Sometimes you have to say, "What are ya gonna do?" and just go along with what has to be done.

Therefore, I will most likely be going back to work on Tuesday morning.  I really wanted to wait until Jaxson's departure, since that will be a pain to deal with, but whatever.  He's been holding steady at 50cc per day for nearly 3 weeks.  I'm going to the plastic surgeon's office this afternoon just because they haven't seen me in a while and they cannot believe that Jaxson is this stubborn.  The record in that office is 7 weeks for a JP drain to stay in, and Jaxson's been around for 5 weeks and 2 days (but who's counting?)

It'll also be good to have them verify that there are no signs of infection from me having it so long.  I've been on pretty strong antibiotics since surgery, so I doubt it, but it's worth letting them take a look, anyway.  They won't remove it with the output being this high, but maybe they can give me some guidance as to why the amount hasn't dropped in 3 weeks.

I was up until nearly 1:00 am, watching crap on TV.  I had an alarm set for 5:30 so the drain amount that I give them today is for exactly 24 hours.  (Why did I have to wake up so early yesterday?  LOL)  The plan was to go back to sleep.  So much for plans.  Natalie was in my room, watching TV (I sleep in the recliner and Kevin was gone to work) so I spoke to her, and then I instantly started thinking about today's appointment, so sleep was futile.

I started having coffee and doing my typical, early morning internet surfing, and Natalie said she would make some eggs for me.  The only problem was, we are apparently out of eggs.  Dang.  What did she offer to make instead?  Or stranger yet, what sounded REALLY good when she offered?  Grilled ham and cheese!  She fixed one for me and I had some of my mega thin chips with white queso dip, and it was an amazing breakfast!  What a sweet kid I have.

Oh, and the coffee we've been having is the best coffee in the world (in our opinion.)  It can only be found in Texas, because it's a store brand at HEB.  You can order online, but the price gets really high if you do that, so we stock up when we go to Texas, and our Texas friends always bring some along when they visit.  The problem is, we haven't been down there in nearly a year, and our friends haven't had the opportunity to visit, so we've been out for quite some time.

Actually, another friend (not from Texas) ordered online and had some sent to us in bulk since we were there last (shout out, 'Shell) but it's been gone for a while.  Well, one of my Texas friends (shout out, Susie!) sent a care package recently with SIX bags!  It is SO good.  I think I'll go refill my cup.

I only have four more hours to kill until we leave for my appointment.  *sigh*  Wouldn't it suck if they told me I had to quit coffee and chips in order to get rid of this drain?  ARGGG!  ::shudder::  What a nightmare THAT would be.

Missing Girls and Sleeping Upright

My girls aren't really missing, but I was thinking about the name of mom's most recent blog post.  The girls are, however, both gone.  At 9:30, Natalie walked in and announced that she wanted to spend the night at a friend's house down the street and friend's mom said OK.  Why not?  Then Monica felt left out, so she contacted her usual hang-out house and headed over there for the night.  Welcome to summer in my house.

I was talking on a message board to another lady who has had her JP drain nearly 5 weeks (her surgery was the same day as mine,) and she said that she found out that it would drain less overnight if she slept sitting up more.  I've been sleeping in the recliner based on other recommendations, but when I wake up, I'm usually reclined back as far as it will go.  She tried sleeping upright and is getting her drain pulled tomorrow.

I'm trying to form a plan that will keep this reclining from happening.  I asked Monica to sit behind the chair all night and hold it up, but she declined.  Come to think of it, perhaps that's why she left for the night?  At this point, I'm willing to give anything a shot.  If I wake up lying back too far, I may choose the corner of the couch tomorrow, instead of the recliner.

OK, Monica has called to tell me she made it OK.  The distraction of typing this blog post worked.  Have a fabulous week!

JP Drains-TMI Again

This is another TMI entry. I'm warning you!  If I have to live this disgusting crap, then I'm dragging you down with me.  If you don't want to see the nastiness, or do not want to deal with my current reality, click here instead.

Today I'll explain the biggest current pain in my neck...the JP drains.  These drains are a necessary evil, because they carry the post-op fluids out of my body.  If the drain is pulled to early, it could cause a seroma (sp) that would need constantly drained with a needle frequently, because my body would not be able to absorb all of the extra fluids.   So yes, I get why it must stay.  Yes, I understand that it's for the best.  And yes, I now feel that I've typed enough that the squeamish folks could have clicked away without accidentally seeing anything.

Four times per day, I deal with these stupid things.  There are two long tubes that come out of my body from my left side, and the long tubes each end in a bulb.  The bulb is to be squeezed tightly and then capped, which keeps constant, gentle suction on the drain.  Four times per day, I uncap the bulb, drain the fluid into a cup with measuring lines on the side, and strip the hose from where it exits my body down to the tube.

This last step is to make sure there are no clogs.  It's difficult to strip it without pulling, and pulling HURTS.  I'm learning to pinch with one hand and use the other hand to strip the hose.  Whatever.  Since I already showed a picture of the drains leaving my body, I didn't do that again today.  It's the second image on this entry, although the coloring of my skin looks better now.

So I head into the restroom and get the drains ready.  As usual, drain one is nearly empty and drain two is full.  It hates me.

There are some variances in the color of the fluid, but the main difference with these two today is an optical illusion due to volume.  You can see that the bulbs are squeezed like I mentioned, to keep gentle suction going at all times.  If it is bulb shaped, meaning not squeezed at all, it's not drawing and I have to fix it.  I haven't had to do that since leaving the hospital.

Next, I get my lovely measuring cups out (don't worry if you ever come here for dinner...I don't use THOSE measuring cups,) and empty the contents from the bulbs into the cups.  I could empty drain #1 only once per day since it's so slow, but I always do it when I do the other.  Heck, I'm in there anyway.

Then, as you can see by the above image, I've squeezed the air out again (and stripped the hoses, see how empty they are?) and it's time to read the amounts from the sides of the cup.  Then, I can tuck them away in these discreet little pouches, which Velcro to the bottom of my bra.  Yes, very discreet.  That's not obvious at ALL!  Here they are:

The only way these aren't obvious is if I'm wearing a big ol' sweatshirt over my T shirt, and even then they aren't completely hidden.  This is the reason that, even if I felt amazing (I do NOT) I wouldn't return to work until the drains are gone.  Walking around with extra lumps, stopping to measure and log fluids, etc, etc.  No thanks.

Finally I log the drain amounts on the document in hopes of seeing the amounts drop (they are NOT dropping.)  When drain two gets below 30 cc per day, it can come out.  It put out 50 cc this morning (I slept longer than usual, but still!) so it's not coming out any time soon.  See?

So this is currently my life.  Tomorrow afternoon I have a follow-up appointment with my surgeon (the demo guy.)  He'll probably want to check this portocath, among other things.  (Don't worry, my chest is NOT as hairy as the one in the picture at that link.)  Then, on Thursday I have a follow-up with my oncologist.  I really want to know what the plan is.

I want with ALL of my being to NOT do radiation.  That would delay my reconstruction by as much as a year.  Chemo only slows it down a bit.  Whatever the plan is, let's get it moving.

The Satan Drain

I had a rough day.  I was very tired (probably did too much yesterday) although I slept fine last night.  I felt weepy and was  just generally a bit "off."  I also realized I hadn't used my ice pack in 48 hours or so, so I filled it up, put my phone on silent, and went to lie down for "just a bit."

I woke up 3 hours later.  I felt a little bit better, and could tell the swelling was down, but the mood was kinda crappy.  After all, while drain one could be removed any time, drain two hates my guts and has been putting out over 80cc per day.  It has to be under 30 to be removed, and I have an appointment to evaluate this on Friday.  That will put a person in a crappy mood.

As I sat here in full-on whine mode, the UPS guy came by.  Cookies by Design?  Yes please!  It was a very sweet gesture by my employers.  That cheered me up a bit, and then mom and dad brought over the most amazing dinner ever.  There was meatloaf, scalloped potatoes, crock pot macaroni and cheese, and bread pudding.  Yowza.  There is even enough for leftovers tomorrow.  I was able to quit being teary-eyed for a bit.  (food always does that to me.  LOL)

And then, it was time to drain.  I was nearly in tears on the way in.  It's nothing for drain 2 to be 20, 30, 40 or even 50cc.  What was it this time?  2.  TWO!!!  I haven't even seen a 10 from that evil drain yet, and it's a TWO?

Dear Lord, don't let this be a fluke.  I checked, and there were no kinks or twists or problems with the drain tubes.  I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but if this trend continues, I could get rid of BOTH drains on Friday afternoon.  I'm REALLY  trying not to get my hopes up.  With good reason.  Does THIS make sense to you:

I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, and I'll just roll with whatever it is.  It sure would be nice to get rid of these dang things, so I could go out into public without feeling gross.  Driving would be cool, too.

Baby steps.