I had an appointment with my oncologist yesterday. I always have lab work and an appointment with her the day before chemo. I really like her, and I trust her completely. She's never been anything but honest and open with me. However, I was in a foul mood when I got there yesterday, and it caused me to leave there mad at her.
I posted on Facebook that I could tell her that there is battery acid dripping from my eye sockets and my arms have fallen off, and she would smile, nod, and say sweetly, "Yes, you're doing great." Normally, her positive attitude is what I need. She is gentle and sweet and understanding. I think the big ol' chip on my shoulder wanted her to say, "Wow, you're having a rough time, aren't you? Here's a cookie." LOL
The truth is, she really does think I'm doing very well, considering the side effects. She sounds amazed every time she asks if I'm still working and I tell her that I am. I keep saying that, if my job had better short-term disability pay, I'd take off until this was over. The truth is, though, I'd be in a worse place, emotionally, if I was home all day feeding my pity party. At least when I'm at work I am solving other people's problems and not thinking about my own.
Today is the day that I could have slept later. However, Kevin is trying to get some overtime, so he was up early and the light shines in our room, so I was up by 4. So much for sleeping in. I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon (it takes fewer than 5 minutes for a tissue expander fill) and then I double back to this side of the state line for chemo.
Chemo day is a relaxing day. Any side effects don't kick in for a couple of days, so it's not an uncomfortable experience in any way. I can play on my computer and relax. I can take lunch there if I choose, and they have a basket of snacks for those who find themselves hungry and ill prepared. The nurses are caring and sweet and chatty and genuine. I don't mind chemo day at all.
Three times, others have gone with me. It was fun to have someone to visit with, although I always worry they'll be bored. Kevin took reading material when he went, and my friends Brooke and Tammy each took a turn, hiding any boredom they experienced.
Kevin has planned an outing to Red Lobster for Sunday afternoon. We don't eat out very often, and he wanted to treat us with some of his OT. That is my incentive to not hurt so bad this time. LOL If it's as bad as last time, it'll just be him and the girls. If I can do it, I'll be going along. I LOVE Red Lobster. Maybe I'll start taking pain pills now to make sure it doesn't get too bad. I'm kidding, but I DO love those cheddar bay biscuits.
Wow, that turned into a rambling post. When you wander around that much in a blog post, it's time to stop.