Monday, September 28, 2009

Sometimes I Tip Over, and Pooping Donkeys

That is how Kevin explains my bruises to others. "Sometimes, she tips over." Yeah, it's true. I am not a battered wife. I walk into walls, trip over nonexistent things, bang my arm on doorknobs and generally fall down. I am a klutz. There is no way to explain how one person could get injured so often. I sometimes tip over.

I tell you that so you'll understand that today's events are normal.

I was driving home, and on a side road, when my right eye started feeling irritated. I wear contacts, and sometimes this happens. It wasn't "Oh My Lord there is SOMETHING in my eye!" It was more, "Hmm, what's up with that slight irritation?" Since there were no cars around, I removed my sunglasses and grabbed my rewetting drops.

No biggie, I do this all the time. If there is no traffic, I can hit both eyes with a drop each within 2 seconds. And so I did. One drop in the offending right eye, and one in the left...for good measure. I swiped away the moisture under my eyes, and decided that this had remedied the situation. Problem solved.

Then, I picked my sunglasses up off the passenger seat, pulled them toward my face, and STABBED MY LEFT EYE with the earpiece of my sunglasses! OUCH! Good thing the smokin' hot Neon knows the way home. I ALMOST DIED, PEOPLE! Or maybe not. It's all good now.

On another note:

I have a long commute, and often see interesting things. I've seen the Monster Energy Drink car, the Wienermobile, cows doing the cha cha, and wildlife defying death by crossing the road at the MOST inopportune times. Today, I saw a donkey pooping. Yeah, they always do this. Everyone poops, right?

But this is a little donkey that I enjoy seeing each day. He is cute and lovable and I can't stand it if he's out of sight. Today, he was there, but his back was hunched up. I wondered what was wrong. As I got closer, I saw that he was pooping. Silly donkey. I did NOT need to see that.

So? What's your point? What do YOU see on the way home? My little Eeyore was pooping. OK, I'll quit now. It was funny, that's all. I think I need a hobby.


Sonya said...

Wow. Ouch.

What do I see on the way home? I cut through a little Mexican neighborhood on the way home as a short cut to the interstate. Lots of traffic so I feel pretty safe there. Then I pass the Nashville airport on the way home. Then it's like 5 lines, down to 4 lanes down to 3 lanes ---lots of exits ---and finally my home sweet home exit. Then I pass lots of businesses and schools on the way to our neighborhood. I pass a railroad track. On the final leg as the main highway gets smaller, I see construction! They are making the highway from 2 lanes to 4. Did you really wanna know that? lol

Hollie said...

What an interesting trip home! Ouch! I love Eeyore...not so much the pooping. LOL

As for my trip home...not much to see other than trees & a few homes...I work about 5 minutes from home maybe even less.

Amy said...

I'm a klutz, too. People are always asking me where my bruises come from. the hell? like I know....

donkeys. I *heart* them. especially their yodeling...

Marlene said...

You are funny....NO, seriously, you have a great sense of humor. I hope you don't lose it, it makes old age easier to deal with.