So yesterday, I just sat here. Yup. That's pretty much what I did. I let the HVAC guy in to fix our a/c, and then I wrote a check to him. I changed the channel several times, took medication and logged drain output. Quite possibly the laziest day I've participated in for a LONG time. If that's what it takes to get better fast, I'm going to have to heal slowly. Jeez, what a long day.
I'll avoid running errands that aren't necessary (we'll leave those up to Kevin,) but I'm not going to sit in this chair 24/7, THAT'S for sure. Today, I think I'll walk up to the post office. All the way up town, by myself. (Those who know this town will get the joke. We're talking 4 blocks.)
I got a call from someone yesterday (I cannot keep track of what nurse is from what office anymore) but she was somehow affiliated with the oncologist. I am to go in at 10:15 on May 22. I'll have a meeting with the oncologist and then have my first chemo treatment. I'm supposed to plan on being there for many hours, especially for the first visit. Maybe as many as six!
The problem that I see (and it may not be a problem, but I'll be asking) is that I expect Jaxson to still be hanging around then. I still have not dropped under 100cc in a 24 hour period, and it's got to get under 30. If you aren't familiar with Jaxson, go to this post and read the last paragraph. I didn't think to ask yesterday, but I have an email in to my favorite nurse/source of information to see what to do about it. Maybe Jaxson will just go along for the ride. LOL He's always enjoyed a good road trip.
I slept in my own bed last night, and I believe I slept better than I have in three weeks. Can you believe it's been three weeks? I may try to make the transition back into there now. This poor recliner deserves a break. :)
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
I Suppose I Should Just Sit Here
I think I overdid things on Saturday, so I spent Sunday recuperating. I was exhausted, sore, and even had a pretty big chip on my shoulder by the end of the day (I know! Shocking!) I was slowly but steadily recovering, and the setback just ticked me right off.
I got up this morning after sleeping a bit longer than usual, and still wasn't great. What the heck? Fine, I'll take another easy day. Mom even offered to take me with them to McD's for breakfast (not that I eat breakfast, especially theirs, but she knows I look for chances to get out of the house.) I turned her down.
I tried to take my daily nap, but after 4 interruptions, I gave up on that pipe dream. Maybe tomorrow I'll pull my head out and silence my phone and put a DND sign on the door, huh? I got up and fixed one of the meals provided by my wonderful coworkers (which was easy and amazingly delicious) and then asked Kevin to take me to the store. I was relatively sure I felt well enough to go.
Wrong. I did well 3/4 of the way through the trip, and then started fading fast. I almost felt feverish. I'm on antibiotic, so I'm sure I'm not, but I was just "off." Got settled in for the night and decided that I shall not move for at least 2 days. I'll read, I'll surf, I'll sleep, and I'll twiddle my thumbs, but I'm going to quit jeopardizing my recovery, which is what I was inadvertently doing.
Oh, and I had also planned to be back to work by now, at least part time. Yeah right.Satan drain Jaxson is still putting out over 100cc per day. It's still gotta get under 30. I can't drive, I can't work, I can even make it to the damn store with a chauffeur without issues.
If you need me, check this recliner. I'll be here. Likely pouting.
I got up this morning after sleeping a bit longer than usual, and still wasn't great. What the heck? Fine, I'll take another easy day. Mom even offered to take me with them to McD's for breakfast (not that I eat breakfast, especially theirs, but she knows I look for chances to get out of the house.) I turned her down.
I tried to take my daily nap, but after 4 interruptions, I gave up on that pipe dream. Maybe tomorrow I'll pull my head out and silence my phone and put a DND sign on the door, huh? I got up and fixed one of the meals provided by my wonderful coworkers (which was easy and amazingly delicious) and then asked Kevin to take me to the store. I was relatively sure I felt well enough to go.
Wrong. I did well 3/4 of the way through the trip, and then started fading fast. I almost felt feverish. I'm on antibiotic, so I'm sure I'm not, but I was just "off." Got settled in for the night and decided that I shall not move for at least 2 days. I'll read, I'll surf, I'll sleep, and I'll twiddle my thumbs, but I'm going to quit jeopardizing my recovery, which is what I was inadvertently doing.
Oh, and I had also planned to be back to work by now, at least part time. Yeah right.
If you need me, check this recliner. I'll be here. Likely pouting.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Thankful, with a Side of Angry
My workmates have been amazing. They sent over pre-prepared meals with preparation instructions. They sent cards. They sent Lee and Michelle (two of my favorite people.) They hooked me up.
Yesterday, My BFF Tammy took me out for the day. We got Cinco de Mayo fajitas and a huge mango margarita to share. I think I had more than my share. After that, we got pedicures. That was a first for me, and it was fun, relaxing, and an all new adventure. It was fun.
Later, Lee and Michelle (and their son Jake) showed up with pizza for dinner, and a cooler full of other meals, prepared by my coworkers. Coolest concept EVER. Everything has full instructions and is perfect. It was an amazing visit with many surprises, and so cool. However, it was a lot for one day.
Today, I was so exhausted that I could barely get out of the shower. I slept, took meds, slept, missed a race, slept, took meds, slept, etc. I was thankful that my family let me sleep all I needed to, but it doesn't explain why I woke up so angry.
There was a storm blowing, lightening flashing, and rain pouring. However, I saw our trash bag going through the neighbor's yard (nice neighbor, not crazy neighbor) and had to go after it. It started sounding more ominous and I just started laughing. It beat the HELL out of crying.
I found out I had cancer four days before my birthday. I'm unable to return to work before mother's day, although I was sure I would make it happen. Satan drain (sorry, I mean Jaxson) is preventing it. Meanwhile, I sit here, unable to do anything involving more than three pounds, sleep a lot, try to be funny, and cry when nobody is looking.
Thanks to all of you that are helping. Sorry to the same people that I'm being such a friggin' girl. If I do not see you before the chemo starts winning, I'll paint "I'm sorry" on the side of my bald head, OK? If that's not enough, then YOU suck as much as cancer.
I'm just sayin'. I double-dog-dare you to try to scare me. Go ahead. Try it.
:)
Yesterday, My BFF Tammy took me out for the day. We got Cinco de Mayo fajitas and a huge mango margarita to share. I think I had more than my share. After that, we got pedicures. That was a first for me, and it was fun, relaxing, and an all new adventure. It was fun.
Later, Lee and Michelle (and their son Jake) showed up with pizza for dinner, and a cooler full of other meals, prepared by my coworkers. Coolest concept EVER. Everything has full instructions and is perfect. It was an amazing visit with many surprises, and so cool. However, it was a lot for one day.
Today, I was so exhausted that I could barely get out of the shower. I slept, took meds, slept, missed a race, slept, took meds, slept, etc. I was thankful that my family let me sleep all I needed to, but it doesn't explain why I woke up so angry.
There was a storm blowing, lightening flashing, and rain pouring. However, I saw our trash bag going through the neighbor's yard (nice neighbor, not crazy neighbor) and had to go after it. It started sounding more ominous and I just started laughing. It beat the HELL out of crying.
I found out I had cancer four days before my birthday. I'm unable to return to work before mother's day, although I was sure I would make it happen. Satan drain (sorry, I mean Jaxson) is preventing it. Meanwhile, I sit here, unable to do anything involving more than three pounds, sleep a lot, try to be funny, and cry when nobody is looking.
Thanks to all of you that are helping. Sorry to the same people that I'm being such a friggin' girl. If I do not see you before the chemo starts winning, I'll paint "I'm sorry" on the side of my bald head, OK? If that's not enough, then YOU suck as much as cancer.
I'm just sayin'. I double-dog-dare you to try to scare me. Go ahead. Try it.
:)
Friday, May 4, 2012
My Tammy, and My Plans
Tammy and Greg came to visit tonight. They brought along some Bates City BBQ for dinner. LOVE! It was amazing as usual. We had a good visit for several hours, and I committed to something else with her. At Christmas time, a customer sent a SpaFinder gift card to me. I am NOT a spa-type of girl.
Since the "C" word was dropped on me, I thought it might be nice to get a pedicure and just make something feel kind of pretty before the ugliness begins. The problem is, I have issues with feet. Feet are gross. As I was talking to Tammy tonight, she said that she had feet issues too, but LOVED the only pedicure she's ever had. OK, enough for me.
Tomorrow, we'll go get pedicures together. Wish me luck. LOL I'm not sure how I'll feel about it. It will also be good to spend some time with my Tammy. It's been too long. We may even celebrate Cinco de Mayo a bit. You never know.
Oh crap. I only own tennis shoes! What good is a pedicure if it can't be seen? *sigh* This is why I avoid being a girl most of the time. Give me jeans, a sweatshirt, tennis shoes, and a pony tail and I'm fine. Oh well, we'll figure something out.
Oh yeah: Most of the hair is going tomorrow, too. Not all, but I have three weeks to get it down to nearly nothing. I don't want the shock of waking to 12" chunks of hair on my pillow, so I'm prepping in stages.
Long story short (too late) I'm having a fun day with Tammy tomorrow. Yay!
Since the "C" word was dropped on me, I thought it might be nice to get a pedicure and just make something feel kind of pretty before the ugliness begins. The problem is, I have issues with feet. Feet are gross. As I was talking to Tammy tonight, she said that she had feet issues too, but LOVED the only pedicure she's ever had. OK, enough for me.
Tomorrow, we'll go get pedicures together. Wish me luck. LOL I'm not sure how I'll feel about it. It will also be good to spend some time with my Tammy. It's been too long. We may even celebrate Cinco de Mayo a bit. You never know.
Oh crap. I only own tennis shoes! What good is a pedicure if it can't be seen? *sigh* This is why I avoid being a girl most of the time. Give me jeans, a sweatshirt, tennis shoes, and a pony tail and I'm fine. Oh well, we'll figure something out.
Oh yeah: Most of the hair is going tomorrow, too. Not all, but I have three weeks to get it down to nearly nothing. I don't want the shock of waking to 12" chunks of hair on my pillow, so I'm prepping in stages.
Long story short (too late) I'm having a fun day with Tammy tomorrow. Yay!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
The Report from My Oncologist (The Plan)
I'll try to keep from rambling from place to place in this post, but I'm on information overload, so there are no guarantees.
I'm taking part in a clinical trial. No, this doesn't mean I'm getting un-tested drugs or anything. I will get the same mix of chemo drugs that the doctor would prescribe anyway, but because of this trial, there is a 50% chance I'll be chosen to get an extra drug that has not typically been used in cases like mine, but might be beneficial. There are slightly over 3200 women, with cancer similar to mine, who will be a part of this trial. It was purely voluntary on my part.
Some people with breast cancer are HER2-positive. In that case, they are given Herceptin. It is to fight this protein. When it comes to your HER2 number, you are a +1, +2, or +3. +3 means you are HER2 positive. Otherwise, you are considered HER2 negative. I am a +2. Technically, that makes me HER2 negative, but they are doing this trial to see if "HER2-Low" patients (me) might benefit from Herceptin. Whether or not I get this extra drug is the only variable based on the trial. Other than that, all other drugs/treatments will be the same.
My chemo will start in late May. Probably another 3 weeks or so. My cocktail will be Doxorubicin and Cyclophosphamide. This will be given every 2 weeks for 4 cycles. After that I will take Paclitaxel once each week for 12 cycles. If I am in the part of the trial getting Herceptin, I will receive it during this same 12 week period, plus every 3 weeks for a year. There is no additional cost to me for this drug, since it is part of a trial.
After all chemo is over, they will talk to me about doing radiation. That isn't a decision that has been made, but it seems that they are leaning that way. We'll get through the chemo nonsense first. Woo Hoo! A summer vacation for the ages, no?
I can't find that I've explained tissue expanders much on here, so if I have, ignore this part. When they did the mastectomy, they inserted a tissue expander. This is basically a special type of breast implant that is deflated. Because of my original size, they filled it partially while doing the surgery to insert it. After the final drain is out (more on that later*) I will start visiting the plastic surgeon's office every two weeks for a "fill." They will add a bit more saline each time.
This is basically stretching out that pectoral muscle in preparation for the permanent implant. Here is the cool part: We just keep going with this plan until I am happy with the size. (Yes, Kevin gets a vote.) When we decide it is what I want to have forever, then they do reconstruction on the right side to match. (Take THAT, gravity!) Because of chemo, we'll schedule the fills around that. My blood counts will be at their best the day before chemo, so that is the day I'll get a fill.
Wow, I hope this all makes sense. Please feel free to ask ANY questions you have at all. I'm still figuring it out, and certainly feel better after a nap. If I had tried to type this right after getting home, it would have been gibberish.
*Oh, and as far as that second drain? I've decided to embrace the drain and adopt it as a member of the family. His name is Jaxson. He is QUITE productive. He will be a part of my life until he gets lazy enough to produce under 30cc in a 24 hour period. This morning, that ambitious little guy gave up 85cc before noon! Ahhh. Isn't he precious? I think I'll draw a face on him and accept him as a permanent part of the family.
I'm taking part in a clinical trial. No, this doesn't mean I'm getting un-tested drugs or anything. I will get the same mix of chemo drugs that the doctor would prescribe anyway, but because of this trial, there is a 50% chance I'll be chosen to get an extra drug that has not typically been used in cases like mine, but might be beneficial. There are slightly over 3200 women, with cancer similar to mine, who will be a part of this trial. It was purely voluntary on my part.
Some people with breast cancer are HER2-positive. In that case, they are given Herceptin. It is to fight this protein. When it comes to your HER2 number, you are a +1, +2, or +3. +3 means you are HER2 positive. Otherwise, you are considered HER2 negative. I am a +2. Technically, that makes me HER2 negative, but they are doing this trial to see if "HER2-Low" patients (me) might benefit from Herceptin. Whether or not I get this extra drug is the only variable based on the trial. Other than that, all other drugs/treatments will be the same.
My chemo will start in late May. Probably another 3 weeks or so. My cocktail will be Doxorubicin and Cyclophosphamide. This will be given every 2 weeks for 4 cycles. After that I will take Paclitaxel once each week for 12 cycles. If I am in the part of the trial getting Herceptin, I will receive it during this same 12 week period, plus every 3 weeks for a year. There is no additional cost to me for this drug, since it is part of a trial.
After all chemo is over, they will talk to me about doing radiation. That isn't a decision that has been made, but it seems that they are leaning that way. We'll get through the chemo nonsense first. Woo Hoo! A summer vacation for the ages, no?
I can't find that I've explained tissue expanders much on here, so if I have, ignore this part. When they did the mastectomy, they inserted a tissue expander. This is basically a special type of breast implant that is deflated. Because of my original size, they filled it partially while doing the surgery to insert it. After the final drain is out (more on that later*) I will start visiting the plastic surgeon's office every two weeks for a "fill." They will add a bit more saline each time.
This is basically stretching out that pectoral muscle in preparation for the permanent implant. Here is the cool part: We just keep going with this plan until I am happy with the size. (Yes, Kevin gets a vote.) When we decide it is what I want to have forever, then they do reconstruction on the right side to match. (Take THAT, gravity!) Because of chemo, we'll schedule the fills around that. My blood counts will be at their best the day before chemo, so that is the day I'll get a fill.
Wow, I hope this all makes sense. Please feel free to ask ANY questions you have at all. I'm still figuring it out, and certainly feel better after a nap. If I had tried to type this right after getting home, it would have been gibberish.
*Oh, and as far as that second drain? I've decided to embrace the drain and adopt it as a member of the family. His name is Jaxson. He is QUITE productive. He will be a part of my life until he gets lazy enough to produce under 30cc in a 24 hour period. This morning, that ambitious little guy gave up 85cc before noon! Ahhh. Isn't he precious? I think I'll draw a face on him and accept him as a permanent part of the family.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Losing a Drain
Yesterday was my appointment with the surgeon that did the mastectomy. I actually told him that I've been calling him the "demo doctor." He thought it was pretty funny. I don't have to see him again for 6 months. People poured into the room while I was there, too. He was joined by his nurse practitioner, another nurse, a lady who remembered me from my biopsy and wanted to come say "hi" etc etc. It was crowded in there, but I'm important like that.
My plastic surgeon's nurse had told me that, if I came upon someone who would/could remove drain one any time after Monday, I could ask. Otherwise, I could go have her do it. She's all the way over in Leawood, KS, so I asked yesterday. They pulled it! It was the one not causing any issues, but it's still kinda nice to only have to deal with one.
I slept in my bed last night, and it was very comfortable, but I paid for it this morning. I guess I am destined to sleep in the recliner for a while longer. Oh well. I'm having a teary kind of day, so I ran to Lexington with Mom and Dad to see how much money I could blow at Dollar General. $47, if you wondered. Kevin's Monster drinks are cheaper there, so a lot of that was for those.
It was an early-out for the girls, so Natalie is here to keep me company now, and Monica will be home from softball practice when it's time for Natalie to go to track practice, so I should have someone with me the rest of the afternoon. Uncle Phil and Aunt Faye are stopping by this afternoon, too, so I will have company all afternoon for sure!
My plastic surgeon's nurse had told me that, if I came upon someone who would/could remove drain one any time after Monday, I could ask. Otherwise, I could go have her do it. She's all the way over in Leawood, KS, so I asked yesterday. They pulled it! It was the one not causing any issues, but it's still kinda nice to only have to deal with one.
I slept in my bed last night, and it was very comfortable, but I paid for it this morning. I guess I am destined to sleep in the recliner for a while longer. Oh well. I'm having a teary kind of day, so I ran to Lexington with Mom and Dad to see how much money I could blow at Dollar General. $47, if you wondered. Kevin's Monster drinks are cheaper there, so a lot of that was for those.
It was an early-out for the girls, so Natalie is here to keep me company now, and Monica will be home from softball practice when it's time for Natalie to go to track practice, so I should have someone with me the rest of the afternoon. Uncle Phil and Aunt Faye are stopping by this afternoon, too, so I will have company all afternoon for sure!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
My Dogs are in the House
The dogs usually spend the night inside, and then are let out in the morning, fed, and given time to run around a bit. When we all four leave, they're outside all day from this point. Lately, I wait until Kevin and the girls are gone for the day and I let the boys back in, where they keep a close eye on me and my well-being (well, that's what they do in MY mind.)
Last night, Radar was hyper as all get-out when it was bed time. He just would NOT settle down, and was even able to engage the grouchy old man (Hawkeye, not Kevin) in his antics. I kicked them out for the night, and informed them that it's lucky for them that it's warm outside.
This morning, I woke up at 3, made coffee, and decided to see if they'd like to come in for a bit. They were both in their warm dog houses on the back porch, but thought that coming in sounded great. All of that lead-in was to tell about this conversation that I had with Radar. I had cartoon-like voices for all of the players, myself included:
Me in a sing-song voice: "OK, boys. I'm going to let you in, but you have to be good boys! If you're not good, daddy's gonna get made at you and say:"
Kevin in a gruff voice: "Well, why did you let these boys in? It's plain as day that they are bad boys and should not be in here with us. Put them outside RIGHT away."
Me (sing-song voice again,): "So it's important that you're Very good and pretend like you've been in here all night, OK?"
Right now, they boys are sleeping sweetly in the floor. Kevin even commented on it when he got out of the shower. Radar barely glanced at him as if to say, "I sure do like this warm carpet better than my dog house. I'm just sayin'. Oh, and see how good I am? I love you, daddy."
The end
Last night, Radar was hyper as all get-out when it was bed time. He just would NOT settle down, and was even able to engage the grouchy old man (Hawkeye, not Kevin) in his antics. I kicked them out for the night, and informed them that it's lucky for them that it's warm outside.
This morning, I woke up at 3, made coffee, and decided to see if they'd like to come in for a bit. They were both in their warm dog houses on the back porch, but thought that coming in sounded great. All of that lead-in was to tell about this conversation that I had with Radar. I had cartoon-like voices for all of the players, myself included:
Me in a sing-song voice: "OK, boys. I'm going to let you in, but you have to be good boys! If you're not good, daddy's gonna get made at you and say:"
Kevin in a gruff voice: "Well, why did you let these boys in? It's plain as day that they are bad boys and should not be in here with us. Put them outside RIGHT away."
Me (sing-song voice again,): "So it's important that you're Very good and pretend like you've been in here all night, OK?"
Right now, they boys are sleeping sweetly in the floor. Kevin even commented on it when he got out of the shower. Radar barely glanced at him as if to say, "I sure do like this warm carpet better than my dog house. I'm just sayin'. Oh, and see how good I am? I love you, daddy."
The end
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