Saturday, August 18, 2012

I'm Still Here

I've gotten ribbed a bit for letting so much time pass between blog posts.  In the past, that was reason for a sigh of relief.  Now, it leaves distant friends and relatives wondering if I'm OK.  I'm OK.  I'm here.  I don't want to do multiple "downer" posts in a row, so I just left the blog dormant this week.

Honestly, I started feeling better on Wednesday.   I called it "narcotic-free Wednesday" because it was the first day in five that I hadn't needed pain pills.  The debilitating pain was gone by then, but I was still so flipping exhausted.  When Kevin got home at 4:30 on Wednesday, I was already asleep.  I slept until 3.  On Thursday and Friday, I fought the urge to lie down by avoiding the bedroom.  LOL

Today, I feel all right.  I woke early and paid bills.  If you can do THAT and not become depressed, you're doing all right.  Not only are we having record-high electric bills, cancer treatment doesn't come cheap.  We've met our max out of pocket, but there are still payments being made from arrangements before we hit that max.  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but to think this is going to start over at the first of the year is sort of depressing.  Let's not think about that.

I've missed enough work lately that my paycheck was the smallest it's been since I returned to work.  It was 2/3 the usual amount, actually.  Thanks to Kevin's pay increases (yes, plural!) over the last couple of weeks, we still had enough to pay all of our bills that are due.  That made me so happy.  When I sat down with the bills and my computer and checkbook, I figured I'd have to juggle.  Nope!

Back to me, I'm going to milk this weekend for all it's worth.  I have chemo again on Wednesday, and if it follows the same timing, the bone pain will settle in on Friday.  I'll enjoy not hurting until then, and try to stay awake until the sun goes down at night.

But no promises on that last part.  :)


Anonymous said...

When I ran an onc practice some of the patients had to go on temp disability during chemo. I'm not suggesting that to you, I'm only mentioning it because I hope you don't think you should be "trying harder" or working more...

Donna said...

IWe are going to cancel the fish fry due to lack of interest and possibly go to the state fair tomorrow. That fish in the freezer will still be good two months from now when everybody is feeling up to snuff.

Tammy Johnson said...

Glad the pain is gone and hopefully after this treatment it won't be as bad or better yet not present! I think of you often and wish I could ease your pain, the only way I know how to do that best is to continuing praying. Love ya Rachel