Video Blog Post-Funny Websites

Today, on the way home, I chose to discuss funny websites:

And now, I apologize for the bluetooth headset. I HATE when people go out of their way to walk around with them. They feel SO important. I should have removed that before shooting the video, but didn't think about it. Sorry. I'm not an asshat. Just tired.

Here are the links:

People of WalMart

Emails from an Asshole

Awkward Family Photos

Cats that Look Like Hitler

Please comment with more. I need a good laugh.

Video Blog Post-Do NOT Wear That!

I did a video blog post this time. I hate how my voice sounds when it's recorded, but so be it. Who doesn't?

Oh? What? You want to see the suspender girl? Oh, OK. I didn't think you'd get that far into the post. Here ya go:

Great Saturday

What a great day we had yesterday! Mine started off with a lot of driving...I picked up Kameron from her other grandma in Oak Grove. Then, we headed to Lake Lotawana to pick up Brett. I brought them home and dropped them off, only to turn around and head back that direction!

I stopped by work to fill a couple of coolers with ice, and then met my niece at a welcome center near the stadiums to get Monica. She'd been down South for a week. After that, we stopped at WalMart for diapers and to fuel my car, and headed home.

We had planned to have folks over and grill, but the forecast didn't look good. We don't mind cooking out in the rain, and sitting inside, but this was going to be a pretty large group, so we switched to plan B. The party moved to Mom and Dad's. His shop is perfect for this situation.

I'm REALLY glad we did it, too. It rained a LOT, but the evening ended with a double rainbow. Sweet!

Goodbye, Angel

It's been a great day, except for the horrible part.

I got a lot done, and did it in fine fashion. I left work and headed to a friend's house. There was a party. A party that was NOT a celebration.

Angel is gone. My friend Angel took another job. She no longer works there. She's.Not.There. What the heck???

Angel, we laughed tonight. We had a good time, right? It was a blast.

It was only after I left that I realized the true reason for the gathering. You won't be there tomorrow. Damn. I've cried until I can't cry. I don't know what to do. I'd talk to you about it in the morning, but you won't be there.

Just Damn.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

It's hot. I'm tired. Still, I can appreciate the things that made me smile tonight. The things that are paid for!

These things are in my driveway, and they're paid for.

Sweet!

Green Paint, Tenderloins, and Naps

Since we couldn't mow this morning, we stayed inside in the a/c. I know we sound like wimps, but it's so incredibly hot and humid. Mom had invited us over for tenderloin sandwiches, so we headed over there around 12:30. Dad was painting.

Dad doesn't like to waste paint, so any time he's painting a tractor, all metal around the place becomes that color. I can remember, when he was painting the Allis Chalmers, everything on the place turned orange. Tools, fence posts, everything.

Guess what? Now he's working on an Oliver. No more red stool. It, and many other items around the place, are slowing becoming green.

Natalie and I headed inside to visit with mom and avoid the heat, and we decided to watch "Marley and Me." Mom's dog, Iris, has issues with other dogs. This is a problem since she can see things on TV. I've never been around a dog that knows what's going on on the television.

"Marley and Me" is about a dog. The dog is in the movie a lot. This means that Iris spent a lot of time attacking the TV. It was really kind of weird, but funny. Poor TV has dog snot on it, now. Iris almost seemed smug when Marley died, but we won't go there.

Mom had her tenderloin assembly line set up. It was a thing of beauty. There is no way to explain how much I adore these things. They are simply fabulous.

If you've ever had a really, REALLY good one at a restaurant, this are about 3 times better. I'm just sayin'.
Soon after eating, we headed home with a nap on our minds. This house can be made VERY dark if you so desire. Natalie blacked this place OUT for us. Kevin fell asleep in about 3.5 seconds, and I realized I'd rather be in bed than in the recliner. It must have been the right move, since I woke up 3 hours later.

Wow, lazy huh? It was wonderful, and I don't feel guilty. Tomorrow, it's back to work, and I can say that I had a great, relaxing weekend. How was yours?

It's a Jungle Out There

So much for mowing. We woke up early, to try to do it before it reaches 97 degrees, and turned on the news while the coffee brewed. Weather lady was showing the radar, which showed a rain cell that had just moved through our area. Huh? We looked outside and sure enough, it's soaked out there.

*sigh*

There is a chance of severe storms off and on all day. When it's not storming, we'll have a heat index over 100 again. I understand that it's summer, and I try not to complain TOO much about the weather, but my yard is going to be a jungle.

::best voice of Carl from "Slingblade":
"Some folks call it a sling blade, I call it a kaiser blade."

Yeah, that's what I'm going to need to cut the grass out there. Or, I could adapt to the lawn care method's that the crazy neighbors use...just let it grow. It's nice, the way they set up the perfect habitat for our local mosquitos. I'd hate to see THAT little creature go extinct. Yeah. Right.

Thank goodness for a/c. I guess we'll be inside a lot again today. Later, a trip to mom's for some of her patented tenderloin sandwiches. I'm drooling already.

My Kids are Crazy

My girls are constantly doing things to make me laugh. Sure, they do annoying kid things, and leave laundry in their rooms and "forget" to rinse their dishes. That can be made less irritating by the things they do that crack me the heck up.

I was on the phone with Brooke last night. We talked for hours. Kevin was otherwise occupied with TV and Natalie was listening to music on headphones. I figured they wouldn't miss me much.

Well, the conversation went on too long to suit Miss Natalie, so she came out onto the back porch, figured out who I was talking to, and devised a plan. She started singing everything I said, Family Guy style.

This doesn't sound funny? Do it to someone for 8-10 sentences. Oh my Lord. I couldn't carry on the conversation for laughing so hard. She sang EVERYTHING I said. That is a weird thing, folks.

I'm just sayin'.

Brooke 'n Stuff

I have this friend. Her name is Brooke. We are probably sisters, but cannot prove it via any practical methods. She is SO not a girl (like me,) she hates bananas (like me,) she is horribly wrong, when it comes to humor (like me,) she loves dogs (like me,) and I could go on and on. We spent 2 hours on the phone together tonight. It's OK. We both have T-mobile, so the minutes don't count.

Here's the deal: Brooke and her son Tim are moving to MO. They will stay with us for a while. Tim will likely stay when they visit in August, and Brooke will come later...likely in January. She wants to come when the weather is most like Texas...you know, Missouri in January. Umm, OK.

Anywho, I haven't published a lot about this, because I am cautious about what people's reactions will be. Doesn't matter, really. We're talking out all of the details (rules?) and stuff, so it's gonna be all good. I've been in situations with 2 families living together, and it worked out fine. I expect the same to work here.

I do NOT talk on the phone, outside of work. I talk on the phone a lot at work, so I don't do it at night. However, when Brooke calls (or I call her) we talk for 27 hours. Or 2. Whatever. I keep the bluetooth on, she puts me on speaker, and we go about our daily business while talking about everything and nothing.

We weighed our dogs tonight, while on the phone. I was quite sure Hawkeye was fatter (heavier) than her largest dog. I win. There are other bets going on, too, and I'm sure I'll win them. I win, OK? It's what I do.

On to another subject, I have MANY guests showing up here in August. We're renting a van and traveling to OH together. First, though, they'll spend 2 nights and a day here. I cannot wait. It's going to be awesome. I can't wait. Did I mention that I'm excited? The party? Icing on the cake.

I don't like cake.

I like Doritos.

The End.

Dear Truck, We have no Money!

So Kevin called me this afternoon. I was on break, and asked what was up. Apparently, the truck wouldn't start.

Let's back up. This has happened several times in the last month or so. It won't start, we wait 10-15 minutes, it starts again, and we're off. It always happens when it's miserably hot outside. We figured that something was getting hot, and when it cooled off, it would start.

When he called today, it had been sitting over 30 minutes, and still wouldn't start. Worse yet, there were groceries in the truck! I informed my supervisor that I had to leave, and made arrangements for someone else to close the front counter. I picked him up, and he moved the gazillion groceries from his truck to my car. Seriously. Dude shopped.

Anyway, neighbor/friend Jimmy came by later, picked Kevin up, and they got it started. Something about the solenoid. I don't listen well. What?

Kevin bought said solenoid and put in on, and it started with no problem. All good, right? OK. I would think so, but neither Jimmy, nor Kevin sound confident that the problem is solved.

*sigh*

The bright side? No car payment. Two cars, no payment. I can roll with that.

Come on, truck. Just be fixed, OK?

Gas Prices

Last week, I fueled for $2.47 per gallon. I always figure my mileage when I fuel up, just so I know how the Smokin' Hot Neon is doing. A rapid drop in mileage can signal other problems, too. That makes it a good idea to check it, at least occasionally.

(Do you know that I have a friend who doesn't know how to calculate mileage? I thought that was funny, but not in the "making fun of a friend" way. I just found it funny that nobody never taught her! In case there is anyone else like that, know how many miles you've driven since the last fill-up. (the trip meter works great for this.) After filling the tank, take the miles driven divided by the number of gallons that fit in your tank. If you drove 300 miles, and your tank held 10 gallons (300/10) you're getting 30 miles per gallon.)

There. This ends my public service announcement. Back on topic now:

So, I pulled into QT tonight, knowing that my mileage won't be as good as the 38 mpg that I got last time. That had been a record for me and the SHN. We spent all weekend in city conditions with the whole family in my car, though. That car really FEELS a load, and we had it loaded. I was contemplating this as I pulled up to the pumps. I got out, and almost fainted. $2.67 per gallon. WHAT? 20 cents more than last week?

It's a communist plot, I tell you. The evil oil barrons are out to get me! EVIL!

Oh, and I only got 29 mpg.

Communists.

This week, it's back to me flying solo. Mileage will be good again. This is good news, since I'll probably be paying $5.00 per gallon by Friday.

Lots of Saturday Drivel for the Readers I Didn't Know I Had

Monica had found the perfect computer for her, in her price range. Kevin helped her find it online at Best Buy. $329 seemed like a great price. She begged us to take her last night, and I said, "Ain't no way I'm going shopping tonight. I'm beat! We'll go in the morning." I'm sensitive like that.

We have Kameron for the weekend, and she slept 10 hours, waking around 8 and behing her typically happy and fun self. The girls got up and around and we headed out. The Smokin' Hot Neon is a tight fit in the back seat when Kameron is here, but the girls love her so much, they deal with it.

We got to Best Buy and found the computer. For $349. HUH? Why is it cheaper online? They have floor models hooked to the internet, so we went to their website and sure enough, the price went up $20 overnight. Monica looked at me and said, "I told you we should have come last night." Crap. I hate when she's right.

She bought the computer, and we headed across the street to Famous Footwear. She bought a pair of Vans that she's been wanting. What do you want to bet she wears them to Van's Warped Tour? LOL Her big brother Jonathan is taking her, courtesy of Kevin buying tickets months ago.

After that, we hit WalMart to find a case for her. $30 was the cheapest one that she liked, so she decided she could live without a case for a while, and we'd keep looking around. I remembered that Big Lots had computer cases, so we ran in there. She found a REAL cute one for $10! Score! At the same time, she grabbed some new ear buds.

We hit Pizza Street, where Kami had fallen asleep and I wound up holding her through her whole nap. LOL I forgot what that does to your arms. My baby is 12, after all. Anyway, she's cute enough to make up for it, and my family was kind enough to be food runners for me.

Back home, Monica walked through the setup process on her laptop, played for a while, and saw my mother's facebook post about needing help eating a blackberry pie. Suddenly, she wanted to spend the night at Grandma's. LOL I dropped her off, and picked up Natalie's friend in the next town to spend the night.

Finally, I'm home, relaxing, watching the race, and playing with the baby. Natalie and her friend are in the guest room watching a movie, and I'm embedding NASCAR propaganda in my granddaughter's head. So far, she'll chant "GO GO GO!" at the screen, or with a little prompting, I can get a "99, 99, 99" out of her. It's working, too. Carl's hanging out in the top 10 all night so far.

I hope her mother doesn't mind. BWWAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA

Apparently, I'm a moron

So. Ahem. Yeah. So.

I have a hard time confessing when I've been a total moron. Sure: If I do some stupidly silly thing, I'll tell it before anyone else has a chance to. If I do something hugely stupid, I tend to be so ashamed that I cannot admit it.

Today, though, I found out my most monumentally stupid move EVER.

For quite some time, I've had no comments on my blog, other than Mom's. I accepted the fact that I don't post often enough, I'm on facebook too much, and everyone just got sick of checking back. OK, I'll quit blogging. Whatever. I'm OK with that, since FB is such an "instant gratification" environment. I'll live without blogging.

Today, I was looking for a certain post on my blog, from way back. I went to the dashboard (which I NEVER go to) and saw something odd. "73 comments awaiting moderation." Huh? What is that about?

::SLAPS FOREHEAD::

Oh YEAH! Back in January, I changed things so that I had to approve any comment! Mom's comments show, because she's an admin on my blog. Everyone else had to await approval. Holy crimeny! I had 49 actual comments (after getting rid of spam) that had been left between January and July.

What an idiot! I forgot I made that change! After approving them, the emails rolled in. I read each comment and felt SO good. Remo telling me that it's OK to drive with 2 feet, Russ telling me why he shouldn't have kids, many well-wishes on Sadie's passing, guesses on mom's surgery, Heather making me realize that she DOES know I exist. Oh my Lord, how thrilled I was to sit and read all of those comments.

Thank you all. I SHALL keep blogging. Maybe not every day, but certainly more than in the past. I promise to check the dashboard more often. When I made the change, I really thought I'd get an email when a comment was waiting (that's what happens with the work blog) so I just assumed that nobody commented anymore.

Also, I'm still reading all of your blogs. I don't comment enough. I will do better at THAT, too.

Thanks, blog friends. Thanks.

Happy Birthday, Mom.

My mom isn't normal.

Thank God.

My mom will tell you what she thinks, even if it's not popular. She'll tell you to buzz off, even if it makes an enemy. She is what she is. She doesn't play games, and she doesn't pull punches.

Thank God.

Mom is opinionated and stubborn. I wonder where I got it? LOL Mom says it like it is.

Thank God.

She makes the best potato soup in the world.

She introduced me to rice and raisins. She makes the best cinnamon rolls ever. She actually makes the best ANYTHING ever.

That lady can cook.

Thank God.

She is the perfect mate to my Dad. They compliment each other perfectly. She nursed Dad back to health after his heart issues, and changed everything about their food habits to keep him alive.

Thank God.

She loves her animals, her plants, and her family.

Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you!