Sadie

I've been quite sad all day. Was Sadie my favorite dog? No. Hawkeye is. Was Sadie an awesome companion to me when we visited Mom? No. She only wanted to be around me if I had the Frisbee. Was I Sadie's favorite person in my family? No. That'd be Kevin.

Mom got Sadie because Dad didn't know how to deal with Mandy dying, which caused great tears from Mom. Men can't handle women crying. They think they have to "fix" it, so Dad fixed it the only way he knew. He got another dog for Mom.

Mom wasn't ready for another dog, and I'm not sure she was terribly pleased with Sadie at first, although I could be wrong. I think she learned to deal with Sadie, and it wasn't long before they were best friends.

Dad works 2nd shift, and Sadie was Mom's buddy while he was gone. Sadie loved Mom more than life. Sadie played frisbee, but quit when Mom wanted her to. Mom enjoyed time at her cabin, and Sadie went with her, barking at frogs, snakes, and other wildlife. This was the subject of many videos, shared on Mom's blog.

Sadie isn't why I'm sad. Sure, I liked that dog. I liked her a lot. I hurt for Mom. I hurt because my mother lost her best (non human) friend. I hurt because I know that she's home alone tonight, missing her dog. I hurt because it's too soon after Blue's passing.

I've cried a lot today. I've thought about what I'd think if this happened to Hawkeye. I've thought about how innocent it seems to throw a bone to the dog when eating BBQ. I've thought about how much Mom's heart is breaking. I've thought. And I've cried. I've cried off and on all day.

I love you Mom. I love you, and I know that stopping by or sending an email or calling you wouldn't help. You're like me, and you need your space. I hope that you find comfort in the kind words from friends...I've seen a gazillion of them on Facebook. You have friends, and you can cry.

Nobody will make you get another dog. You sit home, and you cry. Cry all you want. It's what we do. We're women. I'll be crying, too. I love you, Mom. I'll miss you, Sadie.