My Mother, the Criminal

Mom took Natalie and me to the Brad Paisley concert Friday night. It was awesome and spectacular and wonderful. The problem is, I found out JUST how much of a renegade my mother really is.

If you know her, this is going to shock you. The information I'm about to share will leave you reeling. Don't read further if you have been lulled into believing she's a quiet country girl, always doing the right thing.

I guess it started when we stopped at Hi Boy for a bite to eat. Mom told stories of walking there with my Dad when they were dating. She seemed so sweet. We got back in the car and asked, "Will this car ding at me if I don't buckle?" I told her it wouldn't and she said, "Good!" It was at this time that I realized she was spiraling out of control in her life of crime.

At the Sprint Center, they didn't look through her purse very closely. If so, I would have had to call Dad for bail. We sat down in our seats an hour in advance of the show and started chatting. She reaches into her purse and pulled out a pen. Proud of it, she says, "Look, it's a laser pointer!" or something to that effect.

Laser pointers are against the rules at concerts. I told her as much, and she acted innocent, like she didn't know. Whatever, Mom. I'm hip to your lifestyle now. She obediently put it away, though, so I thought we were OK.

I thought wrong.

As she put the pen-of-evil away, she pulled out something else. "I got this on Daily Steals, too!" she announced proudly...as she whipped out a knife. WTH, mother? I had to make her put the purse away, before the semi automatic weapon was pulled out. The weapon that I'm SURE she had in there somewhere.

Before we go back, I'll have to ask her to go to this page, and click on the very last question.

*sigh*