Today was round one of my appointments that mark one year since my diagnosis of invasive ductal carcinoma. I had spent the weekend in Texas, enjoying sunshine and time with friends, so I came back relaxed and happy. I thought I'd be fine today and just go to my appointments and then come home. But it wasn't that easy.
I woke up late, since I didn't have to work today. (I took a vacation day to get through the appointments.) The closer it got to time to leave, the more worried I became. I know a lot of people who are approaching the one year mark, and they are finding abnormalities. I know two who now have metastatic breast cancer. I know that I'm at greater risk than many people. I started tearing up and wringing my hands. (because we all know how much good that does.)
Kevin sent a text and offered to go with me. You betcha! He was there a year ago for all of the first appointments. He acts as a memory and another set of ears for me. He gets to be the calm one. He gets to ask questions that I may forget.
Our first stop was at the rehab office for my physical therapy. I suspected that she'd release me and I was right. She told me to continue my at-home exercises right up until surgery, and then resume them as soon as the plastic surgeon approves. My range of motion measurements were great and she was thrilled with my progress. I'm to ask to see her again ONLY if I have problems.
From there, we went to the diagnostic center for the mammogram. I was starting to really stress. I tried to breathe through it and calm down. Kevin and I played games on the iPad and made nonsense conversation to pass the time. I had the mammogram (on the remaining side only) and then waited to get results. I could see some weird areas on the screen as I went by, and my panic increased.
Finally, a doctor that I'd never met knocked on the door and came in. "Here we go," I thought. "This is where it all started. She's going to tell me I have cancer." She smiled, shook my hand, and said, "I've looked over the images and everything looks great." I instantly teared up. I was more relieved than I've ever been in my life. All that was left was to see the breast surgeon.
His nurse practitioner came in first and asked some questions and examined me. Then Dr. Shook came in and examined me again. He's very pleased with the way the tissue expander side has healed. (I don't like to call it the "cancer side.") He asked some questions about the plastic surgeon's plan. We talked for a bit and then he told me that he didn't need to see me for a year. What? No doctor has told me that for a long time!
My emotions are raw and I still have many appointments coming up over the next few months. I made it through a diagnostic test without finding cancer. It can be done. Breathe in, breathe out. I'll go to work tomorrow and keep moving forward. Each day is a bright new day. It should get easier from here. PHEW!
Showing posts with label appointment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label appointment. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Good Times and Doctors
We had an absolutely amazing time with the kids and grandkids over the weekend. It was everything we had hoped for. The little cousins all played so well together, enjoyed the pool at the hotel, and LOVED the gifts we got them. I was worried about it, because they were $100 each (three little girls,) but all of them are having a blast with them. It's called a LeapPad II and it was well worth the money.
After having nearly a month with no doctor appointments (the longest stretch since surgery in April,) I have a follow-up with my radiologist on Friday. I'm not looking forward to it, but it will be a quick appointment and should probably be my last with him. I think. I hope. heh heh We'll see.
Two weeks from today, I go see my plastic surgeon. THAT is an appointment that I am looking forward to. I absolutely love that doctor (and his nurse,) and it will be the appointment where they tell me when my exchange surgery will be. I'm thinking late May. I'm ready!
That's all I've got today. I'm feeling good and I'm content. Today, I am happy.
After having nearly a month with no doctor appointments (the longest stretch since surgery in April,) I have a follow-up with my radiologist on Friday. I'm not looking forward to it, but it will be a quick appointment and should probably be my last with him. I think. I hope. heh heh We'll see.
Two weeks from today, I go see my plastic surgeon. THAT is an appointment that I am looking forward to. I absolutely love that doctor (and his nurse,) and it will be the appointment where they tell me when my exchange surgery will be. I'm thinking late May. I'm ready!
That's all I've got today. I'm feeling good and I'm content. Today, I am happy.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
1826 Pills
I had a follow-up with my oncologist today. I was glad to have an appointment with a doctor, as weird as that sounds. I feel like I spent all summer fighting cancer. As soon as radiation was done, I started doing...nothing. I feel like I've just stopped fighting it, and that makes me very uneasy. I told her that, and she said that it is a very common feeling, and that I had to trust that we've done it. Easier said than done.
I asked if she would please do a blood draw to make sure my whites had gotten back to normal levels. I'm pretty sure they are, since I've had two colds and gotten rid of them both within three days, but I want to be sure. She was very nice about it and told me that they would be happy to. That means that I got to see Marie! She's my favorite chemo nurse! It was awesome to see her while feeling good, instead of in a chemo-induced stupor. I'll get the results of the blood tests tomorrow. ::fingers crossed::
I was also given the prescription for Tamoxifen. Because my cancer was the type that feeds on estrogen, this is a medication that decreases the estrogen in my body. I will take one pill per day for 5 years. 1825 pills. Wait. There is a leap-year in there. 1826 pills. I hope that the side effects are minimal.
There is a chance, if I was perimenopausal, that this drug will push me into menopause. Because of the "chemopause," (fake menopause brought on by chemotherapy,) I won't know for a while if this is the case. Oh goodie. More unknowns. I do know that I'm sick of hot flashes and the most common side effect of Tamoxifen is hot flashes. *sigh*
She was happy with my progress, and I am to go back and see her in three months. After that, I'll likely see her every six months for the next five years. I wish someone would do blood work or a scan and say, "Yes! You are cancer free!" but that isn't going to happen. I just have to trust that it's gone. I have to trust the doctors. I have to trust the medication. I have to trust the treatments. I have to trust God.
I'm working on it.
I asked if she would please do a blood draw to make sure my whites had gotten back to normal levels. I'm pretty sure they are, since I've had two colds and gotten rid of them both within three days, but I want to be sure. She was very nice about it and told me that they would be happy to. That means that I got to see Marie! She's my favorite chemo nurse! It was awesome to see her while feeling good, instead of in a chemo-induced stupor. I'll get the results of the blood tests tomorrow. ::fingers crossed::
I was also given the prescription for Tamoxifen. Because my cancer was the type that feeds on estrogen, this is a medication that decreases the estrogen in my body. I will take one pill per day for 5 years. 1825 pills. Wait. There is a leap-year in there. 1826 pills. I hope that the side effects are minimal.
There is a chance, if I was perimenopausal, that this drug will push me into menopause. Because of the "chemopause," (fake menopause brought on by chemotherapy,) I won't know for a while if this is the case. Oh goodie. More unknowns. I do know that I'm sick of hot flashes and the most common side effect of Tamoxifen is hot flashes. *sigh*
She was happy with my progress, and I am to go back and see her in three months. After that, I'll likely see her every six months for the next five years. I wish someone would do blood work or a scan and say, "Yes! You are cancer free!" but that isn't going to happen. I just have to trust that it's gone. I have to trust the doctors. I have to trust the medication. I have to trust the treatments. I have to trust God.
I'm working on it.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Getting On With My Life
Wow. I haven't posted for a long time. You're welcome. Busy season at work and changing back to my regular hours has found me pretty dang tired by the time I get home. Too tired to type? OK, that sounds pretty lame, but I honestly get home and do next to nothing.
Last weekend, I decided I wanted to go to St. Louis to see my aunt Charlene and her husband Pat. The last time we were there, we said we'd do it more often because it didn't take long to get there. That was 2 years ago. I told Kevin that I wasn't going to do that anymore. A year of facing your own mortality will make a person stop planning and start doing. It was a fun trip, although far too short. We're already talking about what we'll do the next time we go.
I found the suspicious lump in January and had a biopsy in February. I was diagnosed in March and had surgery in April. I got back to work in June. I finished chemo on September 19th and finished radiation on November 14th. I have follow up appointments happening now, but that's about it until the exchange surgery, which will be late May or early June. I should be super excited that I'm completing treatment, and I am happy, but I'm constantly unsettled.
I think that treatment kept me occupied. I was doing something. I was actively fighting cancer. Somehow it isn't as easy as it should be to accept, "OK. You're all better. Go on with your regularly scheduled life now." Your brain doesn't work like that. I want to ask, "So that's it?" but then again, I don't want to ask that at all.
My hair is finally growing back. It's not as long as a crew cut yet, but it's moved from "fuzz" to "hair." LOL The gray is a lot easier to see right now, but that's what hair color is for. I'm just looking forward to the day that I have to "fix my hair" to go somewhere. Silly but true.
I know some people see a therapist after cancer treatment. I've never considered myself the type to see someone like that, but I see why some do. I'm not even saying that I won't. I just haven't decided yet. I'm fine most of the time, but not all the time. I know I'll never be the same as before, but I'd like to get past the anxiety issues that sneak up on me at inopportune times.
It makes me VERY thankful for my Facebook group of friends who have gone through this with me. We are small enough to have gotten to know each other, but big enough that someone is on pretty much 24/7. If I can't sleep and it's 2 am and I feel the need to chat, someone is there. Someone to listen to me whine, or laugh at my jokes, or commiserate about the state of our skin after radiation. So far, that's all the therapy I need.
Overall, I am fine. I have been cancer-free since surgery in April. The chemo and radiation were both "just in case." That is a lot of ammo to go through just because there "might be a burglar out there somewhere," but it's what was advised, so that's what I did. And I'm fine. 2012 is a year that I'll be glad to put behind me, but I got through it.
Last weekend, I decided I wanted to go to St. Louis to see my aunt Charlene and her husband Pat. The last time we were there, we said we'd do it more often because it didn't take long to get there. That was 2 years ago. I told Kevin that I wasn't going to do that anymore. A year of facing your own mortality will make a person stop planning and start doing. It was a fun trip, although far too short. We're already talking about what we'll do the next time we go.
I found the suspicious lump in January and had a biopsy in February. I was diagnosed in March and had surgery in April. I got back to work in June. I finished chemo on September 19th and finished radiation on November 14th. I have follow up appointments happening now, but that's about it until the exchange surgery, which will be late May or early June. I should be super excited that I'm completing treatment, and I am happy, but I'm constantly unsettled.
I think that treatment kept me occupied. I was doing something. I was actively fighting cancer. Somehow it isn't as easy as it should be to accept, "OK. You're all better. Go on with your regularly scheduled life now." Your brain doesn't work like that. I want to ask, "So that's it?" but then again, I don't want to ask that at all.
My hair is finally growing back. It's not as long as a crew cut yet, but it's moved from "fuzz" to "hair." LOL The gray is a lot easier to see right now, but that's what hair color is for. I'm just looking forward to the day that I have to "fix my hair" to go somewhere. Silly but true.
I know some people see a therapist after cancer treatment. I've never considered myself the type to see someone like that, but I see why some do. I'm not even saying that I won't. I just haven't decided yet. I'm fine most of the time, but not all the time. I know I'll never be the same as before, but I'd like to get past the anxiety issues that sneak up on me at inopportune times.
It makes me VERY thankful for my Facebook group of friends who have gone through this with me. We are small enough to have gotten to know each other, but big enough that someone is on pretty much 24/7. If I can't sleep and it's 2 am and I feel the need to chat, someone is there. Someone to listen to me whine, or laugh at my jokes, or commiserate about the state of our skin after radiation. So far, that's all the therapy I need.
Overall, I am fine. I have been cancer-free since surgery in April. The chemo and radiation were both "just in case." That is a lot of ammo to go through just because there "might be a burglar out there somewhere," but it's what was advised, so that's what I did. And I'm fine. 2012 is a year that I'll be glad to put behind me, but I got through it.
Monday, October 15, 2012
What a Craptastic Day
Damn. If there is truly something to the Monday curse, I found it today. Everything I touched turned to crap. Some of it was my fault, and some was just plain bad luck, wrong place-wrong time, or the mistake of someone else.
Natalie asked my dad if he'd take her to get her permit today. He said he would, which took a load off us, and I made arrangements for the school to allow her to check out after first hour. At that point, I waited to hear if she passed or not. The next thing I know, she's trying to call me, but I was on my work phone.
The short version is that they got to the next town over for the test, and were told they needed her birth certificate. DUH! I knew that. Well, I knew it two years ago, when Monica got hers. I completely forgot to make sure she had the documents she needed. I told her where she could find it, but she had NO idea what she was looking for, and wound up taking the hospital one, instead of the official one.
They found this out when they got to the next town over for the second time, and they still wouldn't let her take the test. By this time, my dad is probably quite hacked off (and rightfully so) and Natalie is in tears. Later, I found out that she also needs a bill or something to prove residency. Remember, all of this is just a PART of the horrible Monday.
I got to radiation, and they got me back there right away. Monday is Xray day, so I knew it would take a bit longer than other days. No biggie. When I lie down on that table, I am on my back, and I have to put my left arm behind my head, hanging onto this handle thing. I must lie VERY still. They reposition me the way they need me by pulling the sheet that I'm on, pushing me over, moving the table, etc. I am NOT to "help" them move me in any way. They even say, "Lay heavy" quite often. It usually takes a couple of minutes to get me where they want me. No biggie.
Today, it took them at LEAST 15 minutes to get me positioned properly, and they still didn't seem pleased with how things were going. They kept moving me, moving the table, reading numbers to each other, moving me again, etc. Finally, they took the Xrays, and then they moved me a bit more. Finally, they did the radiation treatment. I was lying perfectly still for 30 minutes instead of the typical 10. When they announced I was done, my arm was dead weight. Sound asleep. So asleep that I had trouble getting dressed.
It woke up on the way back to work. It woke up with an excruciating amount of pain. My shoulder actually still hurts, but the rest of my arm is finally better. They told me that they made a 5mm adjustment, and would take a couple more Xrays tomorrow, but that it is all normal and that is why they take them every week. Umm, OK. 5mm seems like a LOT of adjustment for shooting radiation into my body, near my internal organs, but I'll trust the medical professionals.
Work didn't really go much better. I know how to handle busy season, but I was filling in for someone else who was sick, plus trying to do my stuff, plus cleaning up several messes. I got it done, but it sure made me crabby. Those around me were having a similar day, so we all just did our best and powered through. Tomorrow will be better. I'm sure of it, and I plan to take that attitude in with me.
Now, if Natalie and my dad forgive me, I'm past the most bothersome part of my day. The rest is just stuff.
Natalie asked my dad if he'd take her to get her permit today. He said he would, which took a load off us, and I made arrangements for the school to allow her to check out after first hour. At that point, I waited to hear if she passed or not. The next thing I know, she's trying to call me, but I was on my work phone.
The short version is that they got to the next town over for the test, and were told they needed her birth certificate. DUH! I knew that. Well, I knew it two years ago, when Monica got hers. I completely forgot to make sure she had the documents she needed. I told her where she could find it, but she had NO idea what she was looking for, and wound up taking the hospital one, instead of the official one.
They found this out when they got to the next town over for the second time, and they still wouldn't let her take the test. By this time, my dad is probably quite hacked off (and rightfully so) and Natalie is in tears. Later, I found out that she also needs a bill or something to prove residency. Remember, all of this is just a PART of the horrible Monday.
I got to radiation, and they got me back there right away. Monday is Xray day, so I knew it would take a bit longer than other days. No biggie. When I lie down on that table, I am on my back, and I have to put my left arm behind my head, hanging onto this handle thing. I must lie VERY still. They reposition me the way they need me by pulling the sheet that I'm on, pushing me over, moving the table, etc. I am NOT to "help" them move me in any way. They even say, "Lay heavy" quite often. It usually takes a couple of minutes to get me where they want me. No biggie.
Today, it took them at LEAST 15 minutes to get me positioned properly, and they still didn't seem pleased with how things were going. They kept moving me, moving the table, reading numbers to each other, moving me again, etc. Finally, they took the Xrays, and then they moved me a bit more. Finally, they did the radiation treatment. I was lying perfectly still for 30 minutes instead of the typical 10. When they announced I was done, my arm was dead weight. Sound asleep. So asleep that I had trouble getting dressed.
It woke up on the way back to work. It woke up with an excruciating amount of pain. My shoulder actually still hurts, but the rest of my arm is finally better. They told me that they made a 5mm adjustment, and would take a couple more Xrays tomorrow, but that it is all normal and that is why they take them every week. Umm, OK. 5mm seems like a LOT of adjustment for shooting radiation into my body, near my internal organs, but I'll trust the medical professionals.
Work didn't really go much better. I know how to handle busy season, but I was filling in for someone else who was sick, plus trying to do my stuff, plus cleaning up several messes. I got it done, but it sure made me crabby. Those around me were having a similar day, so we all just did our best and powered through. Tomorrow will be better. I'm sure of it, and I plan to take that attitude in with me.
Now, if Natalie and my dad forgive me, I'm past the most bothersome part of my day. The rest is just stuff.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Radiation
Wow. I post that I got a new car, and then apparently drove off into the sunset in it, never to post to my blog again. Or maybe I've been back to working full time, doing radiation treatments, and getting my social life back. Boy, is it nice to accept dinner invitations again.
I started radiation on Monday. I have a standing appointment at 8am every weekday. On Monday, I left work too early because I didn't know how long it would take me to get there. 20 minutes is the most it takes, so I allow 30, in case there is traffic. Yup, I'm driving straight into Kansas City during rush hour. I haven't had any troubles, though. Plus, I have an amazing new car to drive!
I got there Monday and they had to do some Xrays. Because of this, I was there between 20 and 30 minutes. I guess I'll get a couple Xrays every Monday, but not sure if it will take as long as the first time did. On Wednesdays, I will always have an appointment with my radiation oncologist. I've found that I can leave work, go to the hospital, park the car, get to the radiation department, undress from the waist up, put on a gown, get radiation, change back into my clothes, and drive back to work....all in an hour. 40 minutes of that is driving!
Yes, it goes fast. Those ladies know what they're doing, and they're super efficient. It is a vulnerable feeling to be lying on that table in a big empty room while a machine shoots radiation into you, but there is no pain or discomfort of any kind involved. They position me, leave the room, the machine does it's thing, and they reposition me again...three times total.
Most of the folks that I know who have had skin reactions do so around 4 weeks in or later. I'm a week in right now. I've done 5/33 treatments. I have a ways to go. A lot of them have been told to use a certain lotion or some such to the area from a week before starting to the end of radiation therapy. I haven't been told to use anything. Most people are told not to use antiperspirant, although some are allowed to use the organic kind. I haven't been told either of these things.
My Wednesday appointment was a bit different because my Dr. was in a meeting that ran long. He asked another doctor to see me so I didn't have to wait. We were together about 90 seconds at most. I have a couple of questions for this week (about the lotion and antiperspirant, etc.) but it still shouldn't take long. I can't believe that the visits go that fast, but it makes it easier to keep up full time at work.
This Tuesday, I have an appointment with my medical oncologist as a follow-up to chemo. I hope she tells me that I can stop being a germaphobe. My father got sick at a MOST inopportune time, as I was just starting to feel like my old self! I'm sure I'll be fine, but I want her to tell me so. I do NOT want to wind up in the hospital again.
Wow, I get long winded when I wait a week to post. That's all that is going on in the wonderful world of cancer. I just keep moving forward. What else can I do? Move forward through treatment and move forward into our busy season at work. I know I'm still supposed to rest when possible and not overdo it, so I'm being careful. I'm just glad that, so far, I'm feeling a bit stronger each day.
I started radiation on Monday. I have a standing appointment at 8am every weekday. On Monday, I left work too early because I didn't know how long it would take me to get there. 20 minutes is the most it takes, so I allow 30, in case there is traffic. Yup, I'm driving straight into Kansas City during rush hour. I haven't had any troubles, though. Plus, I have an amazing new car to drive!
I got there Monday and they had to do some Xrays. Because of this, I was there between 20 and 30 minutes. I guess I'll get a couple Xrays every Monday, but not sure if it will take as long as the first time did. On Wednesdays, I will always have an appointment with my radiation oncologist. I've found that I can leave work, go to the hospital, park the car, get to the radiation department, undress from the waist up, put on a gown, get radiation, change back into my clothes, and drive back to work....all in an hour. 40 minutes of that is driving!
Yes, it goes fast. Those ladies know what they're doing, and they're super efficient. It is a vulnerable feeling to be lying on that table in a big empty room while a machine shoots radiation into you, but there is no pain or discomfort of any kind involved. They position me, leave the room, the machine does it's thing, and they reposition me again...three times total.
Most of the folks that I know who have had skin reactions do so around 4 weeks in or later. I'm a week in right now. I've done 5/33 treatments. I have a ways to go. A lot of them have been told to use a certain lotion or some such to the area from a week before starting to the end of radiation therapy. I haven't been told to use anything. Most people are told not to use antiperspirant, although some are allowed to use the organic kind. I haven't been told either of these things.
My Wednesday appointment was a bit different because my Dr. was in a meeting that ran long. He asked another doctor to see me so I didn't have to wait. We were together about 90 seconds at most. I have a couple of questions for this week (about the lotion and antiperspirant, etc.) but it still shouldn't take long. I can't believe that the visits go that fast, but it makes it easier to keep up full time at work.
This Tuesday, I have an appointment with my medical oncologist as a follow-up to chemo. I hope she tells me that I can stop being a germaphobe. My father got sick at a MOST inopportune time, as I was just starting to feel like my old self! I'm sure I'll be fine, but I want her to tell me so. I do NOT want to wind up in the hospital again.
Wow, I get long winded when I wait a week to post. That's all that is going on in the wonderful world of cancer. I just keep moving forward. What else can I do? Move forward through treatment and move forward into our busy season at work. I know I'm still supposed to rest when possible and not overdo it, so I'm being careful. I'm just glad that, so far, I'm feeling a bit stronger each day.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Feeling Good (and Confused)
On Monday, I had my radiology consult. By midday on Tuesday, the bone pain was nearly gone, causing me to take nothing more than Advil. By Wednesday, I was back to feeling myself...or at least 90% myself, which is the most I could hope for these days. It felt pretty darn good, too. I'm back to being myself, and annoying my coworkers. :)
Yesterday, I got a phone call from radiology, saying that they had my schedule ready, and I would have 33 treatments, starting Monday. I wrote down everything she said, and was thinking about how to get my full hours in at work while attending an 8:00 appointment every morning. After hanging up, it hit me: NEXT Monday??? That's not even 2 weeks after my last chemo, and the oncologist said I'd have a month between for my body to rest and get back to normal. Also, my whites are at their lowest today through Monday. *sigh*
I emailed the oncologist's nurse and got back to work while waiting for an answer, although to say I was distracted would be an understatement. I didn't get an answer by the time I left a bit after 2:00. The nurse always said that if I don't get an answer, I should call, so as soon as I got in the car, I called in. (I was on a bluetooth headset, so don't lecture me.)
The receptionist said that my usual nurse wasn't in (thus, the non-answer) but she would transfer me to the other nurse. I got her voice mail. *sigh* I left a detailed message about what I wanted. This was around 2:15 and her message said she was in until 3:30. I never got a call back. Even if she wouldn't have an answer until today, I wish she would have called to tell me that.
I woke up at 2:00 and immediately started thinking about it. If the oncologist thinks it's too soon to start, I'll have to call radiology and change the plan. If the oncologist leaves it up to me, I don't know what to do. Having another couple of weeks off would be nice, but if I start Monday, I'll be done by mid-November. That would be nice, too. I just hope it's not up to me. I want her (the oncologist) to tell me what to do, and I'm sure she will. These swirling thoughts kept me from going back to sleep, of course. Sheesh.
If I haven't heard from them by the time I leave today, I'm driving ot her office and talking to someone in person, whether they like it or not. This is my last business day before I am to start radiation treatments, and if I DON'T start Monday, they deserve a bit of notice that I'm not going to show up. I sure am fed up with cancer and all that it entails.
Tonight, though, Kevin and I are meeting some friends in Brookside for some dinner and an after-work drink. I can't believe I'm going to do something like normal people do. I'm really looking forward to it, too. By the end of the day, I'll have an answer to my radiation confusion, and I'll be hanging out with friends that I haven't seen in too long.
Yesterday, I got a phone call from radiology, saying that they had my schedule ready, and I would have 33 treatments, starting Monday. I wrote down everything she said, and was thinking about how to get my full hours in at work while attending an 8:00 appointment every morning. After hanging up, it hit me: NEXT Monday??? That's not even 2 weeks after my last chemo, and the oncologist said I'd have a month between for my body to rest and get back to normal. Also, my whites are at their lowest today through Monday. *sigh*
I emailed the oncologist's nurse and got back to work while waiting for an answer, although to say I was distracted would be an understatement. I didn't get an answer by the time I left a bit after 2:00. The nurse always said that if I don't get an answer, I should call, so as soon as I got in the car, I called in. (I was on a bluetooth headset, so don't lecture me.)
The receptionist said that my usual nurse wasn't in (thus, the non-answer) but she would transfer me to the other nurse. I got her voice mail. *sigh* I left a detailed message about what I wanted. This was around 2:15 and her message said she was in until 3:30. I never got a call back. Even if she wouldn't have an answer until today, I wish she would have called to tell me that.
I woke up at 2:00 and immediately started thinking about it. If the oncologist thinks it's too soon to start, I'll have to call radiology and change the plan. If the oncologist leaves it up to me, I don't know what to do. Having another couple of weeks off would be nice, but if I start Monday, I'll be done by mid-November. That would be nice, too. I just hope it's not up to me. I want her (the oncologist) to tell me what to do, and I'm sure she will. These swirling thoughts kept me from going back to sleep, of course. Sheesh.
If I haven't heard from them by the time I leave today, I'm driving ot her office and talking to someone in person, whether they like it or not. This is my last business day before I am to start radiation treatments, and if I DON'T start Monday, they deserve a bit of notice that I'm not going to show up. I sure am fed up with cancer and all that it entails.
Tonight, though, Kevin and I are meeting some friends in Brookside for some dinner and an after-work drink. I can't believe I'm going to do something like normal people do. I'm really looking forward to it, too. By the end of the day, I'll have an answer to my radiation confusion, and I'll be hanging out with friends that I haven't seen in too long.
Monday, September 24, 2012
That's a "Yes" on Radiation
As I figured, I'll be receiving radiation. Kevin and I met with the radiology oncologist this afternoon to discuss things. He's a likable guy who is good at explaining things in an easy-to-understand way. The most common side effects are fatigue and a diminished appetite. I can handle fatigue, and my back side can handle a diminished appetite.
Of course, he had to tell me of some more serious possible side effects. They have to prepare you for anything, but I sure hate hearing those things. The percentage of a chance of those were quite small, though. I'll consider myself warned, but try not to think about them.
He actually had me go across the hall while we were there for a CT scan and tattoos. The tattoos are slightly larger than the period at the end of this sentence, and there are two of them. He'll now look over the scan, come up with a plan for me, and then the technician will call me to schedule it.
I've heard horror stories of people having to pay a co-pay with each daily visit (x38 visits...you do the math,) but that will not be the case with Saint Luke's. That was nice to hear. I will have to go to the plaza location for treatment, but that's not as big of a deal as those who live near me may think. That location is less than 7 miles from work, so I'll just do morning appointments and then go straight to work.
If I understand what my medical oncologist told me at my last visit, I'll have a month between the end of chemo and the time that radiation starts. That equals three glorious weeks of feeling normal. I'm really looking forward to some happy weekends. I miss going to mom and dad's to just sit and shoot the breeze. I miss getting outside and enjoying this perfect weather. I miss going to school functions. Yeah. I'm looking forward to a bit of normal, even if it's just a few weeks.
Today was excruciating, much like the weekend was, so I've taken some pain meds and plan to go to sleep early. If history holds true, I'll feel a bit better tomorrow, and the pain will be mostly gone by Wednesday, needing only an occasional Tylenol or Advil. After that, look out, world! I'm already conniving to get Kevin to take me to meet up with some friends after work on Friday for a drink. I am so excited to even be thinking about that!
Now, I have some nurses to email with questions. *sigh* I can't wait until cancer and treatment are not the only things I think of. LOL Oh, and staying awake until dark. That'd be a nice change of pace, too. :)
Of course, he had to tell me of some more serious possible side effects. They have to prepare you for anything, but I sure hate hearing those things. The percentage of a chance of those were quite small, though. I'll consider myself warned, but try not to think about them.
He actually had me go across the hall while we were there for a CT scan and tattoos. The tattoos are slightly larger than the period at the end of this sentence, and there are two of them. He'll now look over the scan, come up with a plan for me, and then the technician will call me to schedule it.
I've heard horror stories of people having to pay a co-pay with each daily visit (x38 visits...you do the math,) but that will not be the case with Saint Luke's. That was nice to hear. I will have to go to the plaza location for treatment, but that's not as big of a deal as those who live near me may think. That location is less than 7 miles from work, so I'll just do morning appointments and then go straight to work.
If I understand what my medical oncologist told me at my last visit, I'll have a month between the end of chemo and the time that radiation starts. That equals three glorious weeks of feeling normal. I'm really looking forward to some happy weekends. I miss going to mom and dad's to just sit and shoot the breeze. I miss getting outside and enjoying this perfect weather. I miss going to school functions. Yeah. I'm looking forward to a bit of normal, even if it's just a few weeks.
Today was excruciating, much like the weekend was, so I've taken some pain meds and plan to go to sleep early. If history holds true, I'll feel a bit better tomorrow, and the pain will be mostly gone by Wednesday, needing only an occasional Tylenol or Advil. After that, look out, world! I'm already conniving to get Kevin to take me to meet up with some friends after work on Friday for a drink. I am so excited to even be thinking about that!
Now, I have some nurses to email with questions. *sigh* I can't wait until cancer and treatment are not the only things I think of. LOL Oh, and staying awake until dark. That'd be a nice change of pace, too. :)
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Tired
Well, unfortunately, I seem to be following the same pattern as last time. That still doesn't mean it will be as bad, but if today is an indicator, things haven't changed much.
I started out fine. It was actually a good day. I felt fine and accomplished a lot. Around 12:30, I started fading. I had to stay at work until 2:30 because my appointment for my shot was at 3 and the Dr.'s office is between work and home. I made it, but I was dragging butt by the time I left.
I got my shot (a 5 minute appointment) and headed home. I got here, changed into shorts (oh yeah, have I mentioned our air conditioner isn't working? Yay!) and collapsed int.he recliner. I haven't moved since. I am 100% out of energy. This is day 2, which is the day that I fell asleep at 4:30 last time. I've made it until 5, so that's an improvement. LOL
My nurse advised me to take pain pills from the get-go tomorrow. I'll have to start with Advil, so I can drive to work without the aid of narcotics. We'll see if that helps head things off. For now, I think I'll just sit here and see if a kid will bring me something to eat.
I started out fine. It was actually a good day. I felt fine and accomplished a lot. Around 12:30, I started fading. I had to stay at work until 2:30 because my appointment for my shot was at 3 and the Dr.'s office is between work and home. I made it, but I was dragging butt by the time I left.
I got my shot (a 5 minute appointment) and headed home. I got here, changed into shorts (oh yeah, have I mentioned our air conditioner isn't working? Yay!) and collapsed int.he recliner. I haven't moved since. I am 100% out of energy. This is day 2, which is the day that I fell asleep at 4:30 last time. I've made it until 5, so that's an improvement. LOL
My nurse advised me to take pain pills from the get-go tomorrow. I'll have to start with Advil, so I can drive to work without the aid of narcotics. We'll see if that helps head things off. For now, I think I'll just sit here and see if a kid will bring me something to eat.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Chemo Day 6 of 8
I had an appointment with my oncologist yesterday. I always have lab work and an appointment with her the day before chemo. I really like her, and I trust her completely. She's never been anything but honest and open with me. However, I was in a foul mood when I got there yesterday, and it caused me to leave there mad at her.
I posted on Facebook that I could tell her that there is battery acid dripping from my eye sockets and my arms have fallen off, and she would smile, nod, and say sweetly, "Yes, you're doing great." Normally, her positive attitude is what I need. She is gentle and sweet and understanding. I think the big ol' chip on my shoulder wanted her to say, "Wow, you're having a rough time, aren't you? Here's a cookie." LOL
The truth is, she really does think I'm doing very well, considering the side effects. She sounds amazed every time she asks if I'm still working and I tell her that I am. I keep saying that, if my job had better short-term disability pay, I'd take off until this was over. The truth is, though, I'd be in a worse place, emotionally, if I was home all day feeding my pity party. At least when I'm at work I am solving other people's problems and not thinking about my own.
Today is the day that I could have slept later. However, Kevin is trying to get some overtime, so he was up early and the light shines in our room, so I was up by 4. So much for sleeping in. I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon (it takes fewer than 5 minutes for a tissue expander fill) and then I double back to this side of the state line for chemo.
Chemo day is a relaxing day. Any side effects don't kick in for a couple of days, so it's not an uncomfortable experience in any way. I can play on my computer and relax. I can take lunch there if I choose, and they have a basket of snacks for those who find themselves hungry and ill prepared. The nurses are caring and sweet and chatty and genuine. I don't mind chemo day at all.
Three times, others have gone with me. It was fun to have someone to visit with, although I always worry they'll be bored. Kevin took reading material when he went, and my friends Brooke and Tammy each took a turn, hiding any boredom they experienced.
Kevin has planned an outing to Red Lobster for Sunday afternoon. We don't eat out very often, and he wanted to treat us with some of his OT. That is my incentive to not hurt so bad this time. LOL If it's as bad as last time, it'll just be him and the girls. If I can do it, I'll be going along. I LOVE Red Lobster. Maybe I'll start taking pain pills now to make sure it doesn't get too bad. I'm kidding, but I DO love those cheddar bay biscuits.
Wow, that turned into a rambling post. When you wander around that much in a blog post, it's time to stop.
I posted on Facebook that I could tell her that there is battery acid dripping from my eye sockets and my arms have fallen off, and she would smile, nod, and say sweetly, "Yes, you're doing great." Normally, her positive attitude is what I need. She is gentle and sweet and understanding. I think the big ol' chip on my shoulder wanted her to say, "Wow, you're having a rough time, aren't you? Here's a cookie." LOL
The truth is, she really does think I'm doing very well, considering the side effects. She sounds amazed every time she asks if I'm still working and I tell her that I am. I keep saying that, if my job had better short-term disability pay, I'd take off until this was over. The truth is, though, I'd be in a worse place, emotionally, if I was home all day feeding my pity party. At least when I'm at work I am solving other people's problems and not thinking about my own.
Today is the day that I could have slept later. However, Kevin is trying to get some overtime, so he was up early and the light shines in our room, so I was up by 4. So much for sleeping in. I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon (it takes fewer than 5 minutes for a tissue expander fill) and then I double back to this side of the state line for chemo.
Chemo day is a relaxing day. Any side effects don't kick in for a couple of days, so it's not an uncomfortable experience in any way. I can play on my computer and relax. I can take lunch there if I choose, and they have a basket of snacks for those who find themselves hungry and ill prepared. The nurses are caring and sweet and chatty and genuine. I don't mind chemo day at all.
Three times, others have gone with me. It was fun to have someone to visit with, although I always worry they'll be bored. Kevin took reading material when he went, and my friends Brooke and Tammy each took a turn, hiding any boredom they experienced.
Kevin has planned an outing to Red Lobster for Sunday afternoon. We don't eat out very often, and he wanted to treat us with some of his OT. That is my incentive to not hurt so bad this time. LOL If it's as bad as last time, it'll just be him and the girls. If I can do it, I'll be going along. I LOVE Red Lobster. Maybe I'll start taking pain pills now to make sure it doesn't get too bad. I'm kidding, but I DO love those cheddar bay biscuits.
Wow, that turned into a rambling post. When you wander around that much in a blog post, it's time to stop.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Halfway There, and Weird Thoughts
I'm sitting in "the chair," getting chemo treatment 4 of 8. I'll be halfway done with this part of the journey in about 2 hours. The drug that I start in 2 weeks is supposed to be much easier. I'll take easier. Although, once she got my headaches and sleeplessness under control, I can't say I have all that much to complain about on THIS set of drugs.
I also went to the plastic surgeon today for a tissue expander fill. He only did 60 cc again because it's been a month and it would have hurt me too much to do more than that. It hurts pretty dang bad, anyway. This may be a day that I leave the infusion center, go home, pop a Valium and a pain pill and go to sleep. Anyway, he says that if I go more often, it shouldn't hurt as bad, so we're only waiting two weeks this time.
I said this on Facebook, but I'm really laughing at myself about this. Any time I go to ANY doctor, the nurse takes me back, takes my vitals, and says, "change into this gown, the doctor will be with you shortly." I KNOW that I'm going to sit in that cold room for at least 20 minutes, yet I scramble to change as quickly as I possibly can. Why? What's the hurry? I'm just going to sit there, feeling vulnerable, legs dangling from that paper covered table/bench/bed thing for what feels like DAYS.
I think I'm worried he'll walk in and see something. See what? You know, the same thing he's going to make me show him anyway! What's the point of the speedy-change freak out? I've been going to doctor appointments by myself for 25 years. I have NEVER been walked in on, or even ALMOST been walked in on while changing. How many more years will it take for me to slow down and take my time?
I wonder if they have a set amount of time that they wait, in case someone is a slow changer? Does the nurse make a note of the time she walked out, so the doctor can wait the appropriate amount of time before coming in? How long could even the slowest mover take to remove her shirt, remove her bra, put on a gown, and climb up on a paper covered table/bench/bed thing? Two minutes? Hmmm. The things I ponder from the chemo chair.
I also went to the plastic surgeon today for a tissue expander fill. He only did 60 cc again because it's been a month and it would have hurt me too much to do more than that. It hurts pretty dang bad, anyway. This may be a day that I leave the infusion center, go home, pop a Valium and a pain pill and go to sleep. Anyway, he says that if I go more often, it shouldn't hurt as bad, so we're only waiting two weeks this time.
I said this on Facebook, but I'm really laughing at myself about this. Any time I go to ANY doctor, the nurse takes me back, takes my vitals, and says, "change into this gown, the doctor will be with you shortly." I KNOW that I'm going to sit in that cold room for at least 20 minutes, yet I scramble to change as quickly as I possibly can. Why? What's the hurry? I'm just going to sit there, feeling vulnerable, legs dangling from that paper covered table/bench/bed thing for what feels like DAYS.
I think I'm worried he'll walk in and see something. See what? You know, the same thing he's going to make me show him anyway! What's the point of the speedy-change freak out? I've been going to doctor appointments by myself for 25 years. I have NEVER been walked in on, or even ALMOST been walked in on while changing. How many more years will it take for me to slow down and take my time?
I wonder if they have a set amount of time that they wait, in case someone is a slow changer? Does the nurse make a note of the time she walked out, so the doctor can wait the appropriate amount of time before coming in? How long could even the slowest mover take to remove her shirt, remove her bra, put on a gown, and climb up on a paper covered table/bench/bed thing? Two minutes? Hmmm. The things I ponder from the chemo chair.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Ready or Not
I only made it until 3:00 again today. I get SO frustrated when I can't make it until 5:00. By the same token, if I'd quit pushing it and leave around noon or 1:00, I could maybe come home, rest a bit, and then get some more work done from here. As it is, I push as hard and as far as I can push and still safely drive the hour it takes me to get home, and by the time I get here, I can't move from the chair.
I did do dishes after an hour of rest, though. There weren't all that many, but Kevin's been doing them almost exclusively, and I couldn't stand the thought of him coming home and seeing them dirty. Too bad my kitchen is too small for a dishwasher. Oh well, it's a 10 minute task to wash a sink full of dishes. No biggie. If one of the girls had been here, guess what SHE would have been doing. LOL
Tomorrow is the day I have my first chemo treatment, if everything checks out with the oncologist. I have an appointment with her at 9:30, and if she's happy with what she finds, I go straight downstairs for the first treatment. They'll go half-speed the first time, watching closely for any bad reactions, so we'll be there for HOURS.
Kevin is going with me for the first treatment, just in case any of the aforementioned reactions happen, and after that I can go alone. If I feel like I want company for future treatments, Natalie can go with me, or Mom has offered if needed. I'm pretty good at entertaining myself with my trusty laptop, though, so we'll see. I'll just be so glad to get this first one out of the way. My PDAS kicks in full-blast when it's something I haven't done before.
I know what will happen and what to expect. I've researched, talked to others who have been through it, and researched some more. I haven't done it yet, though. After this time, I'll know what my new normal consists of. The unknown will be known, and we'll move on.
I did do dishes after an hour of rest, though. There weren't all that many, but Kevin's been doing them almost exclusively, and I couldn't stand the thought of him coming home and seeing them dirty. Too bad my kitchen is too small for a dishwasher. Oh well, it's a 10 minute task to wash a sink full of dishes. No biggie. If one of the girls had been here, guess what SHE would have been doing. LOL
Tomorrow is the day I have my first chemo treatment, if everything checks out with the oncologist. I have an appointment with her at 9:30, and if she's happy with what she finds, I go straight downstairs for the first treatment. They'll go half-speed the first time, watching closely for any bad reactions, so we'll be there for HOURS.
Kevin is going with me for the first treatment, just in case any of the aforementioned reactions happen, and after that I can go alone. If I feel like I want company for future treatments, Natalie can go with me, or Mom has offered if needed. I'm pretty good at entertaining myself with my trusty laptop, though, so we'll see. I'll just be so glad to get this first one out of the way. My PDAS kicks in full-blast when it's something I haven't done before.
I know what will happen and what to expect. I've researched, talked to others who have been through it, and researched some more. I haven't done it yet, though. After this time, I'll know what my new normal consists of. The unknown will be known, and we'll move on.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Jaxson Update and a Long Weekend
I have to report to the nurse (Terri...we love her) every week or so with the amounts that Jaxson is producing. If there was some big change, I would have reported in more frequently, but we hovered around 50cc for three weeks. Seriously, it became so predictable and SO depressing. I usually sent this info via email.
I had to call her to get a refill on my antibiotics last Wednesday, so she said, "I know you emailed, but give me your numbers again." I reported the 50cc per day that it ALWAYS is. I also mentioned that it had been five weeks, and they said the record for that office was seven weeks. She said, "Yeah, it's been long enough I'd like for you to come in. At lease let us check for infection, etc. How about Friday?"
I went in Friday and the Doctor came in and checked me over and expressed that he wasn't happy with the fact that the drain had been in so long (infection can set in, or the drain itself can cause drainage to continue,) but taking it out too soon can cause the fluid to pool under the skin and require aspiration with a needle every day or two, which, obviously, would be a hassle, so it's a balancing act. They have determined that the magic number is 30cc. At 30cc, it is believed that your body can reabsorb the lymphatic fluid, which is why they try SO hard to get it down to 30cc or less, two days in a row.
Back to the doctor's visit: He talked it out with Terri, checking me over while I was in various positions to see if there was fluid buildup under the skin, even with the drain. He determined there was not. He stripped the tube, and it immediately filled again. I knew it would, because it does every time I strip it, but he looked at Terri and asked, "Did you see that?" Then he told me that if the drainage was slowing down, it should stay empty for a while after being stripped.
The decision was made to try a different and tighter compression. They think that will make me heal more quickly (by holding the parts together that need to heal together,) and therefore not produce so much more fluid than my body can handle. The way they are having me do this is to roll up some Kerlix (very soft gauze) into a roll about 2" or so in diameter and put it in my arm pit on the surgical side. Then, a 6" ACE bandage is wrapped around me tightly, and as high as it can be and still be under my arms. It is tighter than the previous wrap, too.
The next morning showed a 24 output of 80cc. WHAT??? That's MORE! I calmed down when I realized that the Dr. had messed with me a LOT, the drain had been stripped more than usual, etc. Breathe in, breathe out, calm down. I only empty once per day now, first thing in the morning, so I can officially report that Saturday and Sunday's output (based on Sunday and Monday morning's measurements) have been 40cc.
I haven't reached the magic number 30 yet, but there is a decrease for the first time in three and a half weeks. That is encouraging. I am to call Terri tomorrow and report these amounts. She'll talk to the doc and they'll decide what to do. I need to have 30cc or less, two days in a row.
I'm just hoping and praying that tomorrow morning's number is 30. If so, then maybe they'll help me start my divorce proceedings from Jaxson. I'm all done with having him in my life. LOL Especially since I'm returning to work tomorrow. What a hassle it's going to be to have him with me. I wonder if I should dress him in a little outfit? Thanks for that suggestion, Shannon. Now I can't picture him any other way. Sheesh.
NO, coworkers. He will NOT be dressed. In fact, he hides under MY clothing, so you will not even get to meet him. It's for the best. He'll hopefully be out of my life soon, and it's best if you don't get attached. LOL Get it? Attached? Never mind. I'm just ready for him to be UN attached from me.
Now that this post has become WAY too long, I shall not rehash my Memorial Day weekend in detail. Here are the Cliffs Notes: Kevin's BFF Brian and his son Ty came up, I met a cool new family, we grilled, we ate, we saw my parents and my cousin, and, ummm, oh yeah, cut all my hair off. If you aren't on Facebook, I'll post about that in my next post. Both people who started reading this post are now sleeping. Shh. Don't WAKE them!
Friday, May 25, 2012
Attitude Adjustment and the Breakfast of Champions
I have not been posting much lately because I have had an attitude problem for the past several days. Time to get over it. A crappy attitude is NOT going to fix anything. I think I'm done pouting now, and ready to move on. Sometimes you have to say, "What are ya gonna do?" and just go along with what has to be done.
Therefore, I will most likely be going back to work on Tuesday morning. I really wanted to wait until Jaxson's departure, since that will be a pain to deal with, but whatever. He's been holding steady at 50cc per day for nearly 3 weeks. I'm going to the plastic surgeon's office this afternoon just because they haven't seen me in a while and they cannot believe that Jaxson is this stubborn. The record in that office is 7 weeks for a JP drain to stay in, and Jaxson's been around for 5 weeks and 2 days (but who's counting?)
It'll also be good to have them verify that there are no signs of infection from me having it so long. I've been on pretty strong antibiotics since surgery, so I doubt it, but it's worth letting them take a look, anyway. They won't remove it with the output being this high, but maybe they can give me some guidance as to why the amount hasn't dropped in 3 weeks.
I was up until nearly 1:00 am, watching crap on TV. I had an alarm set for 5:30 so the drain amount that I give them today is for exactly 24 hours. (Why did I have to wake up so early yesterday? LOL) The plan was to go back to sleep. So much for plans. Natalie was in my room, watching TV (I sleep in the recliner and Kevin was gone to work) so I spoke to her, and then I instantly started thinking about today's appointment, so sleep was futile.
I started having coffee and doing my typical, early morning internet surfing, and Natalie said she would make some eggs for me. The only problem was, we are apparently out of eggs. Dang. What did she offer to make instead? Or stranger yet, what sounded REALLY good when she offered? Grilled ham and cheese! She fixed one for me and I had some of my mega thin chips with white queso dip, and it was an amazing breakfast! What a sweet kid I have.
Oh, and the coffee we've been having is the best coffee in the world (in our opinion.) It can only be found in Texas, because it's a store brand at HEB. You can order online, but the price gets really high if you do that, so we stock up when we go to Texas, and our Texas friends always bring some along when they visit. The problem is, we haven't been down there in nearly a year, and our friends haven't had the opportunity to visit, so we've been out for quite some time.
Actually, another friend (not from Texas) ordered online and had some sent to us in bulk since we were there last (shout out, 'Shell) but it's been gone for a while. Well, one of my Texas friends (shout out, Susie!) sent a care package recently with SIX bags! It is SO good. I think I'll go refill my cup.
I only have four more hours to kill until we leave for my appointment. *sigh* Wouldn't it suck if they told me I had to quit coffee and chips in order to get rid of this drain? ARGGG! ::shudder:: What a nightmare THAT would be.
Therefore, I will most likely be going back to work on Tuesday morning. I really wanted to wait until Jaxson's departure, since that will be a pain to deal with, but whatever. He's been holding steady at 50cc per day for nearly 3 weeks. I'm going to the plastic surgeon's office this afternoon just because they haven't seen me in a while and they cannot believe that Jaxson is this stubborn. The record in that office is 7 weeks for a JP drain to stay in, and Jaxson's been around for 5 weeks and 2 days (but who's counting?)
It'll also be good to have them verify that there are no signs of infection from me having it so long. I've been on pretty strong antibiotics since surgery, so I doubt it, but it's worth letting them take a look, anyway. They won't remove it with the output being this high, but maybe they can give me some guidance as to why the amount hasn't dropped in 3 weeks.
I was up until nearly 1:00 am, watching crap on TV. I had an alarm set for 5:30 so the drain amount that I give them today is for exactly 24 hours. (Why did I have to wake up so early yesterday? LOL) The plan was to go back to sleep. So much for plans. Natalie was in my room, watching TV (I sleep in the recliner and Kevin was gone to work) so I spoke to her, and then I instantly started thinking about today's appointment, so sleep was futile.
I started having coffee and doing my typical, early morning internet surfing, and Natalie said she would make some eggs for me. The only problem was, we are apparently out of eggs. Dang. What did she offer to make instead? Or stranger yet, what sounded REALLY good when she offered? Grilled ham and cheese! She fixed one for me and I had some of my mega thin chips with white queso dip, and it was an amazing breakfast! What a sweet kid I have.
Oh, and the coffee we've been having is the best coffee in the world (in our opinion.) It can only be found in Texas, because it's a store brand at HEB. You can order online, but the price gets really high if you do that, so we stock up when we go to Texas, and our Texas friends always bring some along when they visit. The problem is, we haven't been down there in nearly a year, and our friends haven't had the opportunity to visit, so we've been out for quite some time.
Actually, another friend (not from Texas) ordered online and had some sent to us in bulk since we were there last (shout out, 'Shell) but it's been gone for a while. Well, one of my Texas friends (shout out, Susie!) sent a care package recently with SIX bags! It is SO good. I think I'll go refill my cup.
I only have four more hours to kill until we leave for my appointment. *sigh* Wouldn't it suck if they told me I had to quit coffee and chips in order to get rid of this drain? ARGGG! ::shudder:: What a nightmare THAT would be.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Losing a Drain
Yesterday was my appointment with the surgeon that did the mastectomy. I actually told him that I've been calling him the "demo doctor." He thought it was pretty funny. I don't have to see him again for 6 months. People poured into the room while I was there, too. He was joined by his nurse practitioner, another nurse, a lady who remembered me from my biopsy and wanted to come say "hi" etc etc. It was crowded in there, but I'm important like that.
My plastic surgeon's nurse had told me that, if I came upon someone who would/could remove drain one any time after Monday, I could ask. Otherwise, I could go have her do it. She's all the way over in Leawood, KS, so I asked yesterday. They pulled it! It was the one not causing any issues, but it's still kinda nice to only have to deal with one.
I slept in my bed last night, and it was very comfortable, but I paid for it this morning. I guess I am destined to sleep in the recliner for a while longer. Oh well. I'm having a teary kind of day, so I ran to Lexington with Mom and Dad to see how much money I could blow at Dollar General. $47, if you wondered. Kevin's Monster drinks are cheaper there, so a lot of that was for those.
It was an early-out for the girls, so Natalie is here to keep me company now, and Monica will be home from softball practice when it's time for Natalie to go to track practice, so I should have someone with me the rest of the afternoon. Uncle Phil and Aunt Faye are stopping by this afternoon, too, so I will have company all afternoon for sure!
My plastic surgeon's nurse had told me that, if I came upon someone who would/could remove drain one any time after Monday, I could ask. Otherwise, I could go have her do it. She's all the way over in Leawood, KS, so I asked yesterday. They pulled it! It was the one not causing any issues, but it's still kinda nice to only have to deal with one.
I slept in my bed last night, and it was very comfortable, but I paid for it this morning. I guess I am destined to sleep in the recliner for a while longer. Oh well. I'm having a teary kind of day, so I ran to Lexington with Mom and Dad to see how much money I could blow at Dollar General. $47, if you wondered. Kevin's Monster drinks are cheaper there, so a lot of that was for those.
It was an early-out for the girls, so Natalie is here to keep me company now, and Monica will be home from softball practice when it's time for Natalie to go to track practice, so I should have someone with me the rest of the afternoon. Uncle Phil and Aunt Faye are stopping by this afternoon, too, so I will have company all afternoon for sure!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Appointment Tomorrow
Tomorrow afternoon is the follow-up with the plastic surgeon. One drain will come out, the satan drain will not. There is still just too much drainage. It's depressing, but not surprising. It'll probably be the middle of next week and she'll tell me to come back in, and then I'll need to get Dad to take me all the way to Leawood, KS. Sheesh. I'm trying not to be depressed by it, but I'm failing a bit right now.
The other things I'm experiencing are normal, I'm quite sure, but I'll ask anyway. The outside of my left arm and my armpit feels like they have a bad sunburn. I'm sure it's because of nerves that were cut and damaged during surgery, but I'll ask.
I also want to drive. I know I can't drive with drains in, but as soon as they're out, I want to drive. I'll stop pain pills cold turkey if I have to. I can't be this dependent. It's making me crazy. I guess I'm just in a fowl mood about satan drain. I'll get over it. The timing will work out for a meal out before the appointment. That should help, right?
The other things I'm experiencing are normal, I'm quite sure, but I'll ask anyway. The outside of my left arm and my armpit feels like they have a bad sunburn. I'm sure it's because of nerves that were cut and damaged during surgery, but I'll ask.
I also want to drive. I know I can't drive with drains in, but as soon as they're out, I want to drive. I'll stop pain pills cold turkey if I have to. I can't be this dependent. It's making me crazy. I guess I'm just in a fowl mood about satan drain. I'll get over it. The timing will work out for a meal out before the appointment. That should help, right?
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
The Satan Drain
I had a rough day. I was very tired (probably did too much yesterday) although I slept fine last night. I felt weepy and was just generally a bit "off." I also realized I hadn't used my ice pack in 48 hours or so, so I filled it up, put my phone on silent, and went to lie down for "just a bit."
I woke up 3 hours later. I felt a little bit better, and could tell the swelling was down, but the mood was kinda crappy. After all, while drain one could be removed any time, drain two hates my guts and has been putting out over 80cc per day. It has to be under 30 to be removed, and I have an appointment to evaluate this on Friday. That will put a person in a crappy mood.
As I sat here in full-on whine mode, the UPS guy came by. Cookies by Design? Yes please! It was a very sweet gesture by my employers. That cheered me up a bit, and then mom and dad brought over the most amazing dinner ever. There was meatloaf, scalloped potatoes, crock pot macaroni and cheese, and bread pudding. Yowza. There is even enough for leftovers tomorrow. I was able to quit being teary-eyed for a bit. (food always does that to me. LOL)
And then, it was time to drain. I was nearly in tears on the way in. It's nothing for drain 2 to be 20, 30, 40 or even 50cc. What was it this time? 2. TWO!!! I haven't even seen a 10 from that evil drain yet, and it's a TWO?
Dear Lord, don't let this be a fluke. I checked, and there were no kinks or twists or problems with the drain tubes. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but if this trend continues, I could get rid of BOTH drains on Friday afternoon. I'm REALLY trying not to get my hopes up. With good reason. Does THIS make sense to you:
I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, and I'll just roll with whatever it is. It sure would be nice to get rid of these dang things, so I could go out into public without feeling gross. Driving would be cool, too.
Baby steps.
I woke up 3 hours later. I felt a little bit better, and could tell the swelling was down, but the mood was kinda crappy. After all, while drain one could be removed any time, drain two hates my guts and has been putting out over 80cc per day. It has to be under 30 to be removed, and I have an appointment to evaluate this on Friday. That will put a person in a crappy mood.
As I sat here in full-on whine mode, the UPS guy came by. Cookies by Design? Yes please! It was a very sweet gesture by my employers. That cheered me up a bit, and then mom and dad brought over the most amazing dinner ever. There was meatloaf, scalloped potatoes, crock pot macaroni and cheese, and bread pudding. Yowza. There is even enough for leftovers tomorrow. I was able to quit being teary-eyed for a bit. (food always does that to me. LOL)
And then, it was time to drain. I was nearly in tears on the way in. It's nothing for drain 2 to be 20, 30, 40 or even 50cc. What was it this time? 2. TWO!!! I haven't even seen a 10 from that evil drain yet, and it's a TWO?
Dear Lord, don't let this be a fluke. I checked, and there were no kinks or twists or problems with the drain tubes. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but if this trend continues, I could get rid of BOTH drains on Friday afternoon. I'm REALLY trying not to get my hopes up. With good reason. Does THIS make sense to you:
I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, and I'll just roll with whatever it is. It sure would be nice to get rid of these dang things, so I could go out into public without feeling gross. Driving would be cool, too.
Baby steps.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Weird Schedule
When I get real freaked out, I go to my room. I try to avoid breakdowns in front of the girls, and I shield Kevin from it as much as I can, although he still gets the brunt of it. Yesterday, I felt myself getting wiggy, so I just gave up and went to bed. It was before 5. LOL
I woke up at 11:30 and thought, "Oh great. Now I'll be up the rest of the night!" Then I remembered the "no food or drink after midning" rule and decided to eat a VERY late dinner of a frozen burrito. That worked out just fine. Then I spent 2 hours getting various electronic devices to sync so that my music, email, calendar, etc can be accessed from anywhere. About 10 minutes after that, all aforementioned electronic devices started informing me of my PET scan this morning.
OK, maybe all of that syncing was overkill, but I will NOT be forgetting an appointment any time soon. This is the first appointment that I'll be attending by myself. I borrowed Dad's GPS to get me there, and I'm allowing a bit of extra time to wander around the hospital, asking where I should be.
Tomorrow's echo cardiogram is in a building that we've been to a couple of times, so that one won't be as stressful. Now I just have to waste two more hours and I can wake the girls and get ready to hit the road. Two hours. Hmmm. Neopets games, here I come!
I woke up at 11:30 and thought, "Oh great. Now I'll be up the rest of the night!" Then I remembered the "no food or drink after midning" rule and decided to eat a VERY late dinner of a frozen burrito. That worked out just fine. Then I spent 2 hours getting various electronic devices to sync so that my music, email, calendar, etc can be accessed from anywhere. About 10 minutes after that, all aforementioned electronic devices started informing me of my PET scan this morning.
OK, maybe all of that syncing was overkill, but I will NOT be forgetting an appointment any time soon. This is the first appointment that I'll be attending by myself. I borrowed Dad's GPS to get me there, and I'm allowing a bit of extra time to wander around the hospital, asking where I should be.
Tomorrow's echo cardiogram is in a building that we've been to a couple of times, so that one won't be as stressful. Now I just have to waste two more hours and I can wake the girls and get ready to hit the road. Two hours. Hmmm. Neopets games, here I come!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Tests, Tests, and More Tests
OK, back to the cancer chronicles. I have the PET scan on Monday. I have to leave home by 6, since I must check in at 7:30. sheesh. It's supposed to be a day off! Tuesday is the Echo, and I have to be there at 8. Fine. Whatever. I'll drive to the hospital three days in a row. LOL St Luke's on the Plaza on Monday and Tuesday, St. Luke's South on Wednesday for the surgery.
Several people have asked if they could come see me in the hospital. Not only am I a private type person who might feel weird about that, I'm only going to be there for one night. No need, folks. Hit me up via text, skype, Facebook, email, etc etc. I'll answer.
Tomorrow, several friends are going with me to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. It's the official "Here, do my job for a few weeks" party. Sorry, guys.
Several people have asked if they could come see me in the hospital. Not only am I a private type person who might feel weird about that, I'm only going to be there for one night. No need, folks. Hit me up via text, skype, Facebook, email, etc etc. I'll answer.
Tomorrow, several friends are going with me to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. It's the official "Here, do my job for a few weeks" party. Sorry, guys.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
One More Step
They called this afternoon. I have an appointment with the oncologist on Thursday afternoon at 2:30. That's when I'll find out what they want to do, medically. Chemo? Radiation? Both? Who knows? I will know by Thursday evening. After that, it'll be another appointment with the surgeon (early next week) to get our final game plan in place.
If I am to do chemo, I'll likely start nearly immediately. WAH! Yes, that is freaking me out more than the other stuff. Yes, I know. Yes, it will grow back. Yes, I'll feel good again after. Yes, I know. Hell, I'll cry about what I want to, OK? Today I cried because I won't get perfect attendance this year. Stupid? Yup. I'm really proud of perfect attendance, and I'm looking for little things to freak out about, so I don't freak out about having cancer. Later, I intend to cry over spilled milk. Try to stop me.
OK, that made it sound like I'm crying non-stop. That's not true. I functioned at work JUST fine today. I'm doing fine now. There are just certain times that I need to cry. Hell, let's keep it in perspective: I cry at the Folgers Christmas commercials! I cry at greeting card commercials. I cry at sappy movies. It's what I'm good at.
If I am to do chemo, I'll likely start nearly immediately. WAH! Yes, that is freaking me out more than the other stuff. Yes, I know. Yes, it will grow back. Yes, I'll feel good again after. Yes, I know. Hell, I'll cry about what I want to, OK? Today I cried because I won't get perfect attendance this year. Stupid? Yup. I'm really proud of perfect attendance, and I'm looking for little things to freak out about, so I don't freak out about having cancer. Later, I intend to cry over spilled milk. Try to stop me.
OK, that made it sound like I'm crying non-stop. That's not true. I functioned at work JUST fine today. I'm doing fine now. There are just certain times that I need to cry. Hell, let's keep it in perspective: I cry at the Folgers Christmas commercials! I cry at greeting card commercials. I cry at sappy movies. It's what I'm good at.
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