Online Relationships

I have a lot of support from my family, coworkers and friends.  Still, when I found some breast cancer message boards while doing research (right after diagnosis,) I started growing close to the members there.  I'd never met them, and will likely never get the chance to meet most of them, but there was something I needed there.  These people were going through the EXACT same thing that I was going through.

They would ask questions that I had in my mind but hadn't verbalized.  They would answer my questions with the hours and hours of research they had done before me.  They would lift me up when I was down and just listen when that was what I needed.  I got to "know" them.  I grew to love them.

Someone in that group decided to start a group on Facebook.  That group grew even closer.  They understand the parts of this that nobody else could understand, unless they'd been through it.  We share pictures of scars and of newly growing eyebrows.  We share stories of wigs and prosthetic breasts.  We laugh, we cry, and we make inappropriate jokes.

Yup.  This is a new group of friends that mean the world to me.  I love them all, and I'm thankful for the internet for bringing them into my life.  I've had a rough couple of days lately, and spending a lazy 3 hours online "visiting" with them this morning just makes me smile.  Thanks, girls!

That's a "Yes" on Radiation

As I figured, I'll be receiving radiation.  Kevin and I met with the radiology oncologist this afternoon to discuss things.  He's a likable guy who is good at explaining things in an easy-to-understand way.  The most common side effects are fatigue and a diminished appetite.  I can handle fatigue, and my back side can handle a diminished appetite.

Of course, he had to tell me of some more serious possible side effects.  They have to prepare you for anything, but I sure hate hearing those things.  The percentage of a chance of those were quite small, though.  I'll consider myself warned, but try not to think about them.
 
He actually had me go across the hall while we were there for a CT scan and tattoos.  The tattoos are slightly larger than the period at the end of this sentence, and there are two of them.  He'll now look over the scan, come up with a plan for me, and then the technician will call me to schedule it.

I've heard horror stories of people having to pay a co-pay with each daily visit (x38 visits...you do the math,) but that will not be the case with Saint Luke's.  That was nice to hear.  I will have to go to the plaza location for treatment, but that's not as big of a deal as those who live near me may think.  That location is less than 7 miles from work, so I'll just do morning appointments and then go straight to work.

If I understand what my medical oncologist told me at my last visit, I'll have a month between the end of chemo and the time that radiation starts.  That equals three glorious weeks of feeling normal.  I'm really looking forward to some happy weekends.  I miss going to mom and dad's to just sit and shoot the breeze.  I miss getting outside and enjoying this perfect weather.  I miss going to school functions.   Yeah.  I'm looking forward to a bit of normal, even if it's just a few weeks.

Today was excruciating, much like the weekend was, so I've taken some pain meds and plan to go to sleep early.  If history holds true, I'll feel a bit better tomorrow, and the pain will be mostly gone by Wednesday, needing only an occasional Tylenol or Advil.  After that, look out, world!  I'm already conniving to get Kevin to take me to meet up with some friends after work on Friday for a drink.  I am so excited to even be thinking about that!

Now, I have some nurses to email with questions.  *sigh*  I can't wait until cancer and treatment are not the only things I think of.  LOL  Oh, and staying awake until dark.  That'd be a nice change of pace, too.  :)

I Don't KNOW!

I knew this morning would be rough.  I knew everyone would want more details.  I don't KNOW details.  I will meet with the surgeon on Thursday, and I have already started my list of questions.  Kevin is going with me so I don't miss/forget anything.  It's usually ME doing this for HIM.  LOL

So, I went to work with the same attitude I've had all weekend.  I joke.  Someone put an order at my desk and I said, "I can't do all this work.  I have CANCER!"  I wanted to puke out that C word as much as possible, so my workmates could get used to it, and learn to say it.  I made my girls say it this weekend, too.  They're doing better.

It's cancer, and that's all I know.  I'll know more Thursday.  Until then, let's see how many times I can play the "cancer card" at work (and at home.)  Tomorrow's my birthday, and I'll be able to say, "Please do _____ for me.  It's my birthday.  And I have cancer."

Evil?  Me?  Yeah, probably.